Bearded Gang

Anytime I begin to write I’ll stare at the “add title” prompt at the top left corner and decide on my subject for the morning. Some mornings the title will steer the subject matter other times I’ll title it after I’ve finished. There have been several cases where I’ll start writing and it’ll become a jumbled mess and sit in my drafts for good.

Journaling purgatory.

I’ll wake up at 4:30 with a story in my head and I’ll have to get up and start my morning so I don’t forget about the subject. I used to write about rants for a bit. For a solid year I did deli write ups but one morning my brain told me I think about business too much and I stopped cold on the turkey. I no longer live and breathe work.

I had a good download session last night while counting my sheep before bed. If you read my blogs I touched base the other day on how vacations can begin to rewire your brain into a new identity for yourself if you allow it enter and hang out for a bit. This vibe tuned into my life while I stargazed in New Mexico. I stared into the skyline for over an hour, a giant circuit board of galaxies, pulsing, scattering little bits of light of cosmic synapses.

Soulful downloads

Downloads come in different speeds. Some are overnight, I’ll wake up with an epiphany in my head thinking “the fuck did that thought come from?” It’s usually a new perspective, something that may cause me to pause and reflect, rethink about how I’ve handled certain situations my entire life.

Example

I’m the type when I come home from work to spew all of my negative interactions of my day to my wife as soon as I walk in the door. Not towards her but someone to help absorb my stress. “Here’s some negative shit I need help carrying around for the rest of the evening”.

For the longest time I thought I was only sharing my thoughts and feelings about some negative vibes I had all day. One day not too long ago during a little session of stillness my mind tells me I should be more focused on protecting my wife’s energy. My eyebrow raised as I told myself that I’m stealing her energy by projecting my negative thoughts towards her. That popped into my head the other day as I was exhaling all of my negative power points onto her after work. I looked at her face and watched it tense up. I watched her shoulders tighten and then slump.

I have negative thoughts everyday. My mind doesn’t necessarily revolve around them most days, generally I’m an easy going person until I’m not but when I’ve got a shitty thought in my head I always felt the need to share it with my wife. Not as an attack but more as unloading a weighted plate off my chest onto hers. “Here’s gimme a hand with this vibe”

As a couple of almost 20 years it’s important to open up to each other. I don’t throw only negativity towards her when it comes to my day she’s the first person that gets a screenshot of a 5 star review or my elation when I get a large catering. It’s not all negative but the pendulum definitely swings more toward the negative.

I’m aware of it. I’m making adjustments as a result.

Little downloads

Others come slow. They are already in your mind or soul and are slowly coming of age. Almost like growing your hair out. You have to be patient, you have to maintain your course of actions over time. This is what I’m dealing with at the moment. I felt a trajectory of transition while coming home from Utah. Felt it slowly coming into awareness.

Because that’s exactly what it is

Awareness

I wrote about it to help capture it. As I’ve mentioned before the downloads are readily available but you have to tune into them and hold still.

Be still on the inside

Tune out the distractions and distortions

Break the old looping patterns that previously defined you.

It’s that simple and yet it’s ridiculously hard to hold that sequence until it sticks. Your brain doesn’t like change of routine.

At first

I felt a healthy download last night. Difficult to describe in words and not shareable only because it’s mental molding of clay reshaping if I can allow it to. May’s a busy month for me. Hard to hold onto new things in my head while still going through the motions.

If I’m not making sense I get it. This one is for me to write out so I can hold onto it. Writing helps things stick to me. One hour of focus every morning makes good things sticky.

The stickiest of the ickies

My brain just goes “here’s what you could do” and I have to sit still a bit and listen. Like a short class at school.

Take some notes

Pay attention

Absorb and hope it sticks. Not every download sticks around

Sometimes your memory is full of thoughts that need to go into the recycling bin.

Let it go

That’s been the plan after my reckoning.

Let

Shit

Go

When I allow myself to sit still for 20 minutes at a time my mind and body start to solve little equations on its own. Your soul has its own built in AI. Except it’s just “I” honestly.

I = U

Soul intelligence. SI

All you have to do is give yourself a timeout on a consistent basis. Sit still, eyes open or closed it doesn’t matter. Turn everything off. Your soul is speaking to you all the time you can’t hear it because of all the noise. Sometimes I’ll drive a 100 miles to find the silence of peace but most of the time it’s right in front of me.

Like right now.

☮️

Camping alone in some places can keep your nervous system on its toes. I try not to camp in shady places unless I’m left with no choice and if I do it’s a four hour nap so I do fall asleep from driving 16 hours in one day. I gotta admit I’m not sure how many of those trips I’ve got left in me. The driving wears me down a bit.

I’ve never had anyone bother me when I camp gas station style I rarely stop in little town gas stations that go complete dark at night I prefer big truck stop lots or a Cracker Barrel because there’s other people like me camping there. Walmarts not so much I don’t care for the customer base. I’ve had one vagrant walk around my truck in northern Texas and he was greeted with a tomahawk from my tailgate. I think he was more nosey than anything. I didn’t hand him a questionnaire.

I’ve had raccoons terrorize my peace in Beaufort, one almost stealing my truck keys. Deer will scare the shit out of you when you aren’t expecting them. They may be docile but they can get big and when they enter your camp unannounced it’ll catch you off guard. I’ve been terrorized by cows more than bears. Cows are bigger, their shit is too. They’re loud, clomping around and MOOOOOOO all times of night. It’s like sitting next to an adult who smacks their food. Lot of free range cattle out west. Last thing, they smell.

I’ve had two bears come visit me while camping in the Appalachians. One looked more surprised than me it walked right by me before seeing me and scurried off. All two hundred plus lbs, it wasn’t big but big enough. Another mom with her cub walked by close enough for me to see them but kept her distance. At least 60 yards away. Not really my campsite but close enough for me. I’ll sometimes travel with a deer cam to see what critters come into my area. 99% if I see something it’s a deer or raccoon. If I’m in hunting island probably a cat or two. Not big cats just feral ones.

I picked up a beam of light in Moab last year. Still not sure what that was unless it was a dust devil. I don’t go too over the top with paranormal things, I can’t relax if I allow things such as Bigfoot, skin walkers, dog man, moth man, werewolves and such to enter my mind. Do I believe in such things? It wouldn’t take much for me to believe in Bigfoot. World is a big place. Plenty of places we’ve never explored. It’s possible. I’d rather not see one first hand to be honest I don’t carry any extra pair of underwear with me when I hike. I do believe in alternate realms, dimensions and portals so Bigfoot isn’t far fetched to me. If it does exist I feel it’s somewhere in between what we can see and what we can’t. Hence the constant blur. Or people are just full of shit. Pick your side.

I do get some weird vibes some places, there are a couple of spots I won’t camp anymore and I’ll get to one or two shortly. I’ve gotten “something is watching me” vibes a few times but I let my imagination go wild when I’m in nature. I try to feel for things, sight, smell, hearing I’m always trying to reach out. I’m always scanning for wildlife. Not for invaders but for curious animals.

I don’t consider myself a brave person. I’m familiar with this environment enough to understand it and allow myself to be at ease. I don’t take my surroundings for granted. I’ve gripped my pistol a few times just from vibes and or distant leaves crunching. I’m wired tight. I’ve got quick reaction times.

I’ll pull into an unfamiliar spot and sometimes leave. I’ll get a not so good feeling and move on. I’ve done this multiple times. If my stomach doesn’t like the spot I move. Intuition is paramount in this situation. Obviously landscape is important too. I’m leery of flooding or fallen trees.

I don’t fear any man of any type. I’d be more comfortable camping with a serial killer on the loose than grizzly country. I can kill a man, people die with ease and we all die eventually. I’ve got a much better chance with a serial killer than I do with a big bear or cat. Any random person walks into my camp you’re going to be greeted with a gun hiding under the small blanket in my lap. You won’t see it until you do. Linville is full of pull offs to camp right off the road. Some of these sights have amazing overlooks and often times asshats will pull right up to your site and take pics. They will literally walk right in front of my campfire setup with me sitting down and stand in front of my site to take a pic. It’s public land, I’m not the owner but maybe just maybe don’t do that. Especially when it’s dark. I had some gravy ranger pull up to my site open carrying with a friend a few years back when I camped off my tailgate. They were friendly enough but I’m not a fan of any Tom, Dick or Cletus open carrying around me in the woods. They took some pics and left. The whole time Captain Gravy had a 9mm following him around from my tailgate.

Have some goddamn sense people.

I’ve had two weird experiences I can’t explain while camping in Linville. One as recently as yesterday which is why I’m writing this. It was enough to make me consider my camping options up there.

A brief introduction to the environment of where I camp. I drive up to a poorly maintained gravel road near Morganton, NC. It’s about 14 miles long, lots of washboard trails, loose gravel, deep ruts and mud. There are about 40 pull offs where you can camp. Some are 10 feet from the road, some are big sites where several campers can fit while others are so narrow you can barely squeeze your truck in between the trees and rocks. Some are well maintained while others are rutted out from rain and wear and tear. Theres another pull off up there where you can drive into the mountain and not see anyone all day. I like these spots if I’m staying for a couple of days. People drive up and down these roads on dirt bikes, 4 wheelers and corollas. Most cars can make the drive but when it rains you better bring a sleeping bag and a sandwich. I rarely need my 4WD unless it’s been raining. There are two sides of the mountain, ridge side is the money shot side. You’re facing the gorge, great vistas especially at the top, I like these spots for the sunrise, when the earth is tilted just right the sun comes right up in your spot. It’s amazing. You’re forgoing privacy for the scenery. You’re usually about 20 feet off the road. People can see you while you’re camping. Also the weather system is unpredictable on the ridge. You can expect random 25 mph gusts from out of nowhere. The other side is the wooded side, more trees, denser forest, canopied areas much farther from the road. You can still see the road but some spots you can hide completely. Don’t be too invisible though someone else may think it’s vacant and pull-up on you. I always leave my hammock out hanging, like when your college roommates would tie a towel around the dorm door for the “do not disturb” moments. I camp in these spots more often than not. No wind to blow my awning in the air, less distortion, less road dust and no tourists taking instagram pics. When I had my trailer these were ideal, I could leave my trailer in a large open site, leave everything aside from food out and go do my thing. I go on Sundays to insure I get a good spot. I’m coming up when everyone else is coming down. Some days I may be one of a handful of people on the entire mountain. It’s serene. Maybe a little too much.

One time about a year ago when I still had my trailer I came up on a late Saturday afternoon to camp. My intention was to pull off to any spot I could find, I knew the good spots would be taken on the weekends. I was staying two nights. I’d find temporary accommodations the first night, keep my gear tight and the next morning I’d set out to find my ideal spot. I have about 6 I enjoy up there. I found a narrow pull off on a sharp turn by the road. I’m familiar with the spot as most of them. I’ve driven this road well over a hundred times. There’s another spot right up the road about 50 yards from the turn that sits on the road. I backed my trailer into the narrow trail and set up camp for the night. It was around 6pm plenty of light still left in the day. I’d make an MRE for dinner so I wouldn’t have to break out my entire kitchen. As I was unloading I heard a noise that sounded exactly like a couple of kids or teens trying to make animal sounds. Almost like primate hoots. They sounded human. I knew there was another site up the road I just assumed they were letting their kids explore the woods behind me. It’s pretty thick back there but there are a couple of game trails around. When I heard the hoots I smiled and hooted back. The hooting immediately stopped and I didn’t hear a peep for the rest of the evening. I made a small campfire, ate my dinner and slowly made my way up to my tent.

I don’t sleep in my tent alone. What I mean by that is I keep at least three options of protection with me when I go “upstairs”.

Something sharp, something blunt and something that goes bang. I’m not paranoid, I’m prepared. I have a family that counts on me to return home from every trip. I’m not a hero and I’m not that brave. Anything disturbs my sleep will have a war on its hands. I mentally practice these situations in my head as to not be surprised should something actually happen. And I’m wound very tight. There are no surprises. I expect to be bothered.

I go to my tent no later than 9. My senses are dulled from no light and I’m sleepy so I turn in early. I’ll read in my tent or if I’m on the ridge I’ll stare off into the gorge. I wasn’t ridge side this night. I take one bag up into the tent with me. It usually consists of a headlamp, water bottle, fixed blade, lightweight charger so my phone charges overnight, headphones and my pistol. My keys also stay in the tent with me now (see earlier story about raccoon). I never sleep through the night when I camp. I’m a little on edge only because I’m out of my comfort zone of security. Around 3am something “punched” the front flap of my tent door. I say punched because it was quick. Like a jab. A hard jab because I felt the trailer move forward from the impact. If you aren’t familiar with roof top tents they are made of thick heavy canvas like you’d see from the big military style tents or jeep tops. They aren’t lightweight nylon like the backpacking kind. You can cut into them with a thick sharp blade but it’s tough hide. The roof is a hard composite like a turtle shell. They’re rugged and strong.

But

It’s still canvas. Not actual walls. You’re still exposed in a collapsible shell. The punch woke me up immediately. I sleep with my head pointing towards the door. I dont like sleeping with things right above my head I’m slightly claustrophobic.

I didn’t panic but I will openly admit I was scared. To hit my tent above my head would mean reaching up to around 7 feet high. Bear? Maybe a really big one. There was no sound before the punch that I know of and no sound of anything retreating. I didn’t jump up when it happened I stayed low and quiet. If anything was trying to get me to up and out of the tent it wasn’t happening.

I routinely practice in my head several different scenarios of what can happen when I camp. Breakdowns, injuries, bad weather and worst case scenario -violence. I put my gun in a specific place in a specific way to give me quick access. If I get an invader my gun is at my feet, still holstered of course. I use my keys to hit my door lock on my fob to light up the site like an alarm. I’ll put my headlamp on and turn on my flashlight. My headlamp could blind an airplane on full power. My flashlight is a blunt instrument pointing me where to shoot with my gun. I’ve practiced it mentally and physically. Dozens of times. My reaction time is better than average and if it’s a human barging into camp I’m probably more prepared than you are. Also I don’t think I’d hesitate to shoot. I have no issue putting a large hole into a maniac’s center mass. I fear no man. We aren’t bullet proof. Now a healthy apex predator? Yeah now those scare the shit out of me in a very healthy way.

When I woke up from the punch I did exactly what I trained myself to do.

Unholstered my gun

Grabbed my headlamp (left it off)

Flashlight lined up with the pistol

Turned both lights on while repeatedly hitting my truck door locks which in return causes the truck to flash so you’re experiencing a laser light show immediately while I’m scanning the perimeter with my pistol in hand. No I’m not ex military I read a lot of GI Joe as a kid.

I saw nothing.

No tracks

No camp disturbance

Nothing missing at all.

I sat upright in my tent for half an hour. Complete silence.

I finally laid back down this time with my head away from the flap and stared at the ceiling for two hours until sunrise lit up my camp. I walked around the entire area, no tracks were found. No branches fell and it wouldn’t have mattered I had my tent awning up with poles a branch would’ve had to fall under the awning to hit my door. Another option it could’ve been a bird of prey grabbing a some late night dinner on my tent door. One big enough to push my trailer forward? It’s a 2000 lb trailer when loaded up. With a 175 lb occupant inside. No feathers from impact were found. I had my mountain bike with me so I took it for a ride up to the next camp site to see if my neighbors had any problems. There were no neighbors up the mountain. Camp site was untouched, no fresh prints and the campfire was stone cold. No one had been there recently I had just assumed I had some neighbors due to the human made “animal sounds” I had heard the evening before. You know the difference between a natural sound as opposed to one that sounds mimicked. Once I realized there were no neighbors and the sound I heard wasn’t teenagers I got a little chill down my spine. I returned to my camp, loaded up and moved across the other side of the mountain ridge side, closer to the road. I wasn’t leaving because of my experience the night before but I wasn’t staying anywhere near that spot again.

Needless to say I didnt sleep well that night and my gun stayed a little closer.

Sunday night

So my last trip up to Linville was this past weekend. I parked on the ridge side closer to the road only because I wanted to rise with the rise as I call it. Sun comes right up at my spot to the left it’s a good moment to for my morning sun gaze. My first night in my Moonlander and it had been over six months since my last trip up there. I was excited and a little euphoric to be back. Set up was done, I cooked a steak and watched the sky fade for a bit. No music, no noise just stillness. The gorge is a little unstable when it comes to weather patterns and I started to get some fun wind at my site. Not crazy but 15- 20 mph winds will blow all of your shit everywhere. I have a much more stable shelter system in place now but the wind will still make your windows whistle all night so I decided to roll my gear and truck a quarter mile down the road off the ridge. I’d already closed camp because of the wind so all I had to do was close my doors and head down the hill. I pulled into a nice shaded spot, large canopy of strong trees and little to no wind. I’ve stayed in this spot before it’s a solid place. I parked and opened up my camper and sat on my little sofa watching the sun go down between the trees. I was in stillness mode, half meditating, half asleep. 9pm on the nose I closed up shop, lock my truck and my back camper and went to sleep. I went in and out of consciousness for most of the night it rained a little so the inconsistent pattern of the rain kept me up. Around midnight I finally fell asleep.

I woke up at 5:04am I know this to be the specific time because I had turned over to grab my phone to see if it was time to get going. As soon as my phone lit up the back door of camper pulled in a jerking motion like something was trying to yank it open. Not a push or punch like my tent it was definitely a tug. My truck went backward this time not forward. I had my ceiling motor fan on so I couldn’t hear my outside surroundings that well. If something ran off I couldn’t hear it. My ecoflow battery, which powers everything is right by my head so I quietly pulled out my dc adapter everything was attached to and my camper went dark and quiet. I grabbed my pistol (I’m getting good at this now) and lied back down with my gun pointed toward the door. No lights inside this time I didn’t want to be seen I did the same thing I did with my truck key fob and hit the lights repeatedly while I scanned my site from my portal window.

Nothing that I could see. Because of the rain it was pea soup fog all over my range of sight.

Awesome.

I texted one of my friends who I knew was up and gave them the run down just in case I “disappeared”. I was angry more than scared this time. Something tried to open my back door. Something tried to enter my camper. What animal can pull my camper door back? Once again, possibly a bear? No sniffs, no huffs and once I got out of my camper once again, no prints on the dirt. It had been sprinkling rain barely, my truck was dotted with it. I would’ve seen tracks of a bear. Human footprints? Could’ve been mine, could be from the last occupant I couldn’t tell. There were none in placement that looked like a pair or even two prints facing my truck. I didn’t stick around too long I felt exposed while I looked at the ground at 6am in the fog with a pistol in my grip. Headlamp wasn’t much use.

Something definitely tried to enter. My back door was locked tight. My old truck camper didn’t from the inside. I used a bungee cord to keep it shut. Had it been my old truck this may have been a different story. How my camper is set up, you’re not coming inside without my permission. A grizzly could probably tear the door off with some effort or a window but it won’t fit in the window. I’m not in grizzly territory. Black bear can’t get inside. It could open the back maybe with some effort and dexterity if I left the doors unlocked. Best case? It was a bear and had managed to get its nails under the door hinges. As o turned on my phone light I scared it away and its claws were under the door handles.

There were no markings of that on the door. Dust is an amazing fingerprint finder. There were fingerprints all around the handles but they could’ve easily been mine. Nothing out of the ordinary.

No sign of life. I got up, started my truck and drove through the fog until I was in an open area to fully inspect my truck.

I have no clue as to what came into my camp. Bigfoot? I think if it exists it could’ve easily ripped my door off. Not sure how much a Bigfoot can bench press.

This won’t keep me from going back up there. It will make me question where I choose to camp when I go back up. Two occurrences in over a 100 plus visits doesn’t make it a consistent pattern but it does get in my head. Human encounter? You’re just dumb and looking to end your career of breathing.

Animal? Well I’m in your corner of the world I’ll stay respectful just don’t try to eat me. Anything else? I’m not ready to accept that either but you have my full attention at the moment. Let’s keep this civil. I’ll say this if there’s a third time I doubt I’ll come back up for a fourth. Unless I bring a companion.

Happy trails yall .

I haven’t been camping up in my go to area since early October. With my changing of rig plans, work and weather all conspiring to keep me from hanging off my favorite mountain ridge I haven’t made my way up there. 7 months is quite a break for me. The terrain will have pumped itself full of chlorophyll over the last month, bugs are starting to bug out a little and it’s just a matter of time before a horny whippoorwill wakes me up crooning in the early morning hours. I love it. I love all of it. There are certain places in this world that rise you up, center your head and heal your soul. It’s not the same places for everyone we all have our own little chambers of powering up.

This is mine

Linville Gorge, NC.

Spring and fall are the best times for me although I’ve spent many a cold nights up there with zero insulation. I’ve fixed that now. Summer nights rarely peak above 70° at night towards the top and if it’s too warm there are plenty of shady spots opposite the ridge. I’ve gotten to where I like these spots more. Better camping canopies and privacy. The ridge will reward you with an amazing sunrise but you are usually closer to the dirt road. During drought times you’ll get covered in road dust from drive by’s. It rained a tad last night so I’m grateful for some heavier dirt. There may be a burn ban up there I’ll have to check. I’m already one fine deep last time in New Mexico from not seeing a 3×3 index card on a nearby bulletin board stating there was a temporary fire ban. $330 for that miscommunication. I was irritated by the transaction. I’m not the biggest rule follower but when it comes to nature I always maintain respect for any guidelines in place. I’d be the first to stomp out a fire in a fire ban situation. Regardless it was my fault for not double checking.

I brought my propane fire can for backup. I love a good fire and it’ll get a little chilly tonight. My plans are to get up there early and sit under the trees all afternoon. Monday I’ll hike and maybe explore Boone. I may tackle Grandfather mountain, the fun side. Other option I might sit in my chair for a little longer and head back home. I keep my itinerary loose. If it rains I’ll sit under my awning and read. The area has been calling me for weeks.

Sundays are a swell day to head up most are breaking their camps from the weekend so the gorge goes quiet for the early week. Holidays that revolve around Mondays I stay away. Peak leaf peeping season I stay far away. I love that yall will go out to the mountains to observe some beautiful scenery but I’d rather you not do it while driving 25 in a 45.

That’s all

The work weekend was well worth the sweat and I’m rewarding myself for it. Normally I take a few weeks off after my long trips but I’ve got some catching up to do. And as I said earlier she’s been calling me.

And I must go

The moon is in a Waxing Gibbous phase this evening. I’ll get some natural light post sunset and its moon sign is in Virgo. If you follow this type of thing all it means is I should have a chill night. I’m good with that. I’m not a huge astrology guy but I enjoy reading about it and sometimes it hits just right. The more I study it the more I dig it.

My intention is to settle in after dinner and prop my chair on top of my camper and sit in stillness until I get sleepy eyes. Today will be a slight fasting day. Dinner will be my only meal. Somedays my stomach will test my patience and I’ll bring a small pack of nuts to keep me from getting nauseous. It’s the coffee on an empty stomach for me.

I’m stoked.

Super

Stoked

And I’m done. Time to pack up. Later gators.

This has nothing to do with Bruce Springsteen. I don’t mind ole Bruce, Born in the USA is one of my favorite albums before Bruce turned into a whiny doppelgänger of Woody Allen.

Just raspier. Bruce’s voice coach should have told him to sing from the diaphragm after belching Born in the USA a few hundred times.

Ok bye say goodbye to Bruce.

Have you ever noticed when you go on week long vacation that towards the end your mind starts suggesting changes for your habits or lifestyle? You may be driving in the car on the way home from the beach thinking

“I think I’m going to join a gym when I get back”

Or

“I should eat more fish”

“I should walk more”

“I’d love a new hobby”

It doesn’t have to be something health wise or physically beneficial

“I’ve got too much shit in my closet I should to get rid of some things”

“I should read more books instead of scrolling ”

Or the opposite “I’ve got some great ideas for a new work project. Something completely different and unique”

I’m not the only one who has this monologue playing in my mind toward the end of my time off. I’ve listened to friends and employees talk about these things when they come back to work. I’ve done it most of my life although I see it much differently now. A different perspective.

It pops in our heads as we drive home or maybe it’s the last couple of days at the beach and your mind has started to assimilate a new part of your routines. You’re walking in the sand, grounding yourself whether you realize it or not.

Roaming a new city square out of town you’ve never visited before.

Exploring a new country, culture and or new language you’re not familiar with.

New ideas and thoughts are slowly downloading in your mind. Your daily and weekly routines are frazzled. Your thoughts no longer are looping, your nervous system is observing new activity. The old you is reacting to a new reality. A new setting.

New game.

As it’s absorbing all of your new energy and thoughts it’s trying to feed you upgrades on your new environment. Once you’ve settled in. My observance is the first day or two your mind is almost pushing you back home to your old self. It only wants you safe. You may break down on the way out there, plane may be delayed, weather might turn terrible, luggage may get lost but once we arrive and reset our minds go “ahhhhhh”

That’s our brain saying “oh we are really trying something new. We are committed? Let’s do this”

All the time we are living what hopefully is our best lives during this time our brains start connecting to a new WiFi connection. Not that old one that drones while we work from home or plays the same 15 YouTube channels in your mind. You begin to get wider bandwidths, new connections, clearer signals, less distortion.

Your brain is assimilating. It recognizes you’re enjoying a new experience and environment. The universe, your own little reality because we all have our own, begins to feel these vibrations. It lifts you up, it peps your step.

And your reality follows suit.

The higher your vibration the clearer your WiFi connection is to your soul.

Good, good, good, good vibrations. 🎶

Many times the WiFi network starts before you go on vacation. Maybe you spent 4 months at the local CrossFit before a cruise because you wanted a better beach body. Or you’re spending more time in the mountains while you’re training for a long trail run in Colorado.

You’re training your body and mind for a new reality, a new you. You’re physically and mentally changing your surroundings. You bring your new life briefly into existence.

Happy

Tan

Toned

Relaxed

Less distracted

Challenged

Still

And then you go home. You begin to resume your old life, reality.

You make your morning coffee at 5:15 am just like you did the week before you left. You start your weekly laundry routine, emails are shuffling in. It’s Monday so dinner will be chicken and rice and you’ll eat it in the same seat at the table that you assigned for yourself years ago. Bedtime is 10pm you’ll roll upstairs, brush your teeth in the same mirror, one last pee, plug your phone next to your nightstand and assume your natural sleeping position on whatever side of the bed was deeded to you as a couple.

You drive to work the next day after your oatmeal breakfast and next thing you know the old you is back.

Maybe you’re a “my job is slowly killing me” person

Or “why do these things keep happening to me?” as you’re running late for work and run out of gas

“I hate my body. Nothing fits me right anymore” after you’ve been back for a month and fell back on your eating habits.

You’re right back to the old you. You had a glimpse of an alternate version of you but it slipped away just a nonchalant as it entered you.

A download

An updated version of you

Your reality was ready to change at the snap of your fingers. And you let it go like a child releasing a helium balloon.

Chad, what?

My common way of thinking and perceiving things got ripped out of me in a roof top tent in Beaufort over a year ago. I’ve talked about this several times although it took almost a year for me to feel comfortable about it enough to mention it. Some think I’m crazy and I just may be. Maybe psilocybin melted my brains the night before although it wasn’t a big dosage. 4-5 grams max and it was the next evening when it happened. 26 hours after my little trip.

Psilocybin opens doors in your mind. Your brain after so many years digs deep ruts in how you think and perceive things. All psilocybin does is it opens new routes while you’re enjoying the show. You think differently, your traumas, agendas, ideals, beliefs take a back seat for a while.

Mine are still on break. Or at least some of it is. I have my trauma issues but I recognize them now and reckon with them. Religion went out the door, political beliefs and my normal daily routines.

I received a download. A transmission of sorts. Your brain is a receiver with a WiFi connection. We’ll come back to that if I can maintain my concentration. I’m a tad exhausted from driving 2000 miles in two days. I’m back home btw as of midnight last night.

I recognized my post vacay thinking patterns years ago. I’d come back from my annual gulf trip and I’d feel my old thinking trying to assimilate into another Chad. I’d take home a couple of new habits or routines I’d picked up playing around the beach all week and insert them into my daily schedule. Some would stick while others dissolved as I went back into my normal routine. The balloon would slowly float away. The download I received sat unused for weeks and my brain memory would push it into the iCloud to allow other storage to stay and stagnate over time.

Upload received. App remained unopened.

I always saw it as some fresh ideas and thoughts coming to me because I had idle time to think. I’m not cooking brunch for the masses, I’m not doing inventory, working on schedules or food cost. My mind is at ease. Not as many distractions. I was still a tad muddled. I liked to indulge in a few bottles of vodka when I was decompressing a few years back. Your mind heals over time when you put the bottle down and if/when you’re paying attention its antenna picks up better signals. I would’ve never noticed my WiFi connection if I hadn’t stopped drinking. My downloads would come and be disregarded over time. I was a distracted drone for most of my life. I’m not saying alcohol kills all your downloads. I’m only saying it did that to mine. I was also drinking daily.

Heavily

I started doing these long trips out of my truck back in 2020. I was still drinking then but I was entering the twilight of my drinking career. In fact in retrospect these trips helped kick the habit by allowing me to shake up my environment.

I began these excursions well before I paid any attention to my behavior loops. My ruts, my own little Punxsutawney life as I call it. Stuck in the same shit different day concept. Driving long distances has its advantages. It gives you time to think. No phones, no internet on some routes or the traffic has you so frazzled your hands are glued to the steering wheel and your only focus is watching the road. Whereas the week before you were sitting on your sofa enjoying your favorite tv show and media reels.

These trips have the capacity of hardening you. They may begin to change you while you’re knee deep in mud scraping your shoes off in 40° mornings in the middle of a desert or when you come back home and you’re evaluating your reset. That’s all that it really is – a reset to revamp yourself. To forget your patterns and routines. You get stripped from your comfort zones. All of them. You’re sleeping in shady parking lots, camping in a random places without the feeling of security. Howling hail and winds trying to push you off a cliff while surrounded by a herd of bovines. Sitting on the side of a Texas backroad pouring gas in your truck because you didn’t pass a gas station for 60 miles. Bathing out of a bowl while standing on a rock so your feet don’t get stay dirty. Brewing coffee inside your truck because you can’t light a flame in 40 mph winds. Climbing a mountain you’ve never heard of before because you saw a sign on the side of the road. I do some of these with fake bravado and confidence while others I do trembling scared shitless.

I strip myself completely from my comfort zones and feel the downloads come in. It took a few years for me to recognize this.

Recognize doesn’t work here. I’ve always observing when I’m thinking on all the new things when I’m out and about but it took a bit to grasp what my mind was trying to do.

For 10 days I’m completely changing my routines deliberately. My phone screen time drops dramatically, my sleep schedule is erratic, my routines are thrown out the window all the while I’m trying to navigate a whole new terrain. Distractions are slowly dissolving as my mind is carving out new habits and thoughts every moment. There’s no tv, work phone calls or even small talk with friends. I’m creating a new reality for myself. A completely different life albeit temporarily. This last one was a tough one. Weather changed our plans completely I had to map out a new route and adventure on the go. I was already out of my comfort zone and jumped into a whole new reality in 24 hours. We dipped out of Utah and headed seven hours south to Sedona. On a grand scale not a big deal we were in the region but I’d been planning the old route for weeks. I’ve been working on being more of a go with the flow type of person and not letting a change of plans ruin my day. Sedona was an option before we left I’d kept one eye on the weather the whole time as a just in case.

“Chad, you do this to rip up your comfort zone and this is a classic example of how to make it happen” is what I told myself.

Seize the fucking day.

We arrived in Sedona late afternoon. Made dinner and went to bed exhausted after the long drive. I made it a point to find a solid hike and googled “hardest hike in Sedona” and set my sails for Bear Mountain. Might as well go big or go home. Bear Mountain will screw with you because of its false summits. You rock climb up the first part and think “that’s not so bad” only to see a couple of hikers hundreds of yards away climbing up another mountain.

You climb up that mountain and think “oof that was a bit rough but I did it” only to see those other hikers are going up yet another ridge of another mountain. That’s the last one by the way it’s only 2.5 miles up but it’s steep, filled with loose rocks and some overhangs that will make your ass clench. I’m terrified of heights. I do these type of things to yet again take me out of my comfort zones. I enjoy them but it’s usually afterwards. There are parts where I want to throw up. Sometimes I do. In my head the whole way up I’m telling myself “this will pay off for you” I’m not sure why that was playing in my head over and over but it was. It kept me going. These hikes are tough when you’re exhausted from driving and lack of sleep. I can do Table Rock in my sleep but there have been days where it’s kicked my ass because I didn’t mentally prepare myself. The hike was tough. When I got back to the truck the only thing I could say to Shane was “water. I need water” I gulped a quart of Gatorade in 2 minutes. Ate lunch and died in my truck bed for a few hours while Shane went fishing.

Our itinerary was screwed and we had to start heading east again soon. Our original plan was to go through Colorado and camp somewhere off of 70. Possibly red rocks area. I opted for New Mexico, I had done a little research on some cool places because New Mexico is on my radar for a trip next year post summer and recalled a spot where you could see the stars at night. My mind pinged on the Cosmic campground, Glenwood NM a 3 acre dispersed camping area just outside of Alpine Arizona (a place I had no idea existed and it’s beautiful). We drove for several hours to this spot literally in the middle of nowhere and found a swell spot on top of a hill. We heated up some MREs there was zero civilization within 30 miles. I looked at Shane and said “I think we are suppose to be here” and Shane nodded his head in agreement. The weather, the rerouting and change of plans took us to this little hill in the middle of nowhere to sit under the stars.

I spent the evening staring straight up to the sky. I’d walk from one side of my truck to the other I wanted to see every star in the cosmos. The skyline was like a cosmic circuit board. You could see the pulses of the stars and meteor showers. There was no moon present. The stars were all ours that evening. I soaked up the universe, gave my traveling companion a hug and went to bed.

We spent the next two days driving home, road weary but happy. We stayed the night in OK City at a hotel but I chose to sleep in my camper. The trip was coming to an end but I wanted one more night of away from my comfort zones.

I used the shower at the hotel the next morning I still had red mud stains from Moab a week ago. I looked at myself in the mirror for the first time in days and my first immediate thought was “you’re already changing”

That’s when this small epiphany began to grow in my mind.

My first thought was to shed my old skin.

“Wanna change my clothes my hair my face”

It was a weird random thought at that moment. It wasn’t a “go buy some new clothes” thing more of the person I was staring at in the mirror was waving goodbye.

“Now’s your chance to once again update yourself. Your download is complete”

“Do with it as you will”

I’m paraphrasing obviously it’s difficult to explain the experience.

My mind, body and soul was wide open to change, new habits and perspectives. I was model of clay at that moment. 10 days of wrenches in my cogs. I was primed for deliberate manipulation.

It was acknowledgement.

All of this time, this is why I’ve been obsessed with doing these trips.

Each time I go out, I come back a different person. I shed a little more of the old me. I break myself down, take away all my daily distractions and old responsibilities.

I could break down every shift from every trip.

But

Maybe another time. This entry keeps gaining legs. It keeps running.

There’s a direct correlation between my transitions and my travels. There is/was no reckoning without them. Throwing myself into a deep hole of uncertainty and uncomfortable situations = series of downloads.

Natural WiFi

You might as well have a radio dial installed in your noggin.

Tune in to who you’re supposed to be

Your ideal resonance is out there waiting for it.

Find your station, there are billions of versions of you.

The hard part is once you find your frequency you have to keep it in range. Just like driving with the FM radio on. You find a great station and listen to it until you are no longer in range. It becomes static, distortion. You start turning the dial to find another station just like it and lose your signal.

This one is all yours but you have to maintain your resonance to hold onto it. You can’t keep holding on to your old presets.

Resets change your presets

That’s the tough part. Once you get home and back into your comfort zone it feels so good to be back home. Warm bed, electricity, coziness

Your old routines and loops are waiting for you.

The choice is yours if you want to save game at this point and continue a new game or turn off the switch and go back to the same player character. How many references am I gonna make here?..

You have to change your mental image of yourself. Your preprogramming.

“I come home in the morning, I go to bed feeling the same way

I ain’t nothing but tired, man I’m just tired and bored with myself”

Shed that skin my man

The stars spoke to me that night in New Mexico.

And I’m still listening. That’s why I’m writing this because I’ve been instructed to. Maybe not for you personally but for me. It’s a part of my downloads.

I needed a spark

“You can’t start a fire without a spark” Shane if you’re reading this I’m sure you’re enjoying the irony of that quote.

That whole trip, the rain, the snow and cold rerouted us. Took us to the night stars instead of the sun. It was supposed to happen. And it did.

I was literally dancing in the dark, under the stars.

“Messages keep getting clearer”

Download complete.

Peace.

Utah got a little selfish with her weather system this week. I’d been eyeballing the regional weather for the last two weeks. Already had in my head that Hanksville might be rained out and it did. Toyed with Capital Reef but the rain never stopped. The rain started in Moab for us the first night we camp. I did my best to place us in a site that wasn’t too far away from the gravel roads the red mud out here is slick as oil and sticky as cement. We had to rinse the mud off our gear when we stopped for gas. One pair of my shoes are still covered

It’s part of the adventure.

Crawled over a wintry pass into Escalante that welcomed us with 60° and partly cloudy skies. Stopped in my favorite place to get coffee at Blue Crow and we headed back up the road to Hole in the Rock Road to camp. We drove over washboard gravel for 20 miles and pulled off to camp next to little overlook. Ate some street tacos over a campfire and chatted about our families. It was our first solid night of the trip. No rain no wind blowing our gear into a yard sale. I slept great the camper so far has been everything I expected it to be. Radica knocked it out of the park. The weather for our initial path was getting chilly. 19° is doable but lying in an ice box for two days with an avid snorer sounds terrible. We had just barely dried off from Moab.

Checked my gps and saw we were 7 hours from Sedona and said screw it and hit the road. 89A all the way to Sedona is an amazing road to drive to experience. We arrived in Sedona around 4pm to 72° and sunny skies and warm fuzzies. Tried a dispersed camping area but it looked like an offroad parking lot. Multiple vehicles crammed on top of each other into dirt plots. Wife reserved a Hipcamp spot in Clarksdale with some shade and a creek running along the side. Small farm right outside of Main Street. No mud, no 19°.

I’ve gotten accustomed to bumps on my trips. I once drove to the Tetons just to be drenched in rain so hard you couldn’t see them.

Huddled in my aluminum camper during a severe thunderstorm in SD

Busted trailer tire in Helen, GA

Bike and rack stolen in Houston, Texas.

Hell I could go on and on.

Sucks at the time but adds flavor to your story.

I’m hiking my ass off here. I’m going to enjoy a Sedonuts donut and may get another shirt from there. I’m in my zone it just took a minute. Most of my trips never start out smooth I have to find my groove. Yesterday while walking an unmarked trail in Escalante I found my groove. Sunrise hit my face while I listened to the morning chirp.

Now I’m good for the week. I’m in my flow state.

Will need to find a power source soon my ecoflow batteries are fizzling out. Good time to find a coffee spot post hike and power up.

Lunch in Jerome? Perhaps or tomorrow.

Time to lace up my hikers. Later gators.

My morning started with a quiet drive up 313 at 5am to watch the sunrise up in Dead Horse Point. Walked outside and waved the at Milky Way in the sky, drove around some free range cattle and arrived at my point of interest with 2 minutes to spare. My companion chose to sleep in that morning and after riding 30 hours straight with my unending caffeine filled commentary I can’t say I blame him. He also drove the third shift.

My man

There were maybe 8 people in the overlook area once the sun came up. I walked about and took some pics with my camera. Point and click practice shots. My first two were with the lens cap on.

Baby steps

After watching what may be my top 5 sunrise moments of my life I walked back in my truck and sat it in for the first time.

Real first time, in its element. Our element. I sat quietly and looked over the point it was also the first time I relaxed since we left. There’s a very common occurrence on my trips that I’m beginning to recognize.

I always encounter bad traffic on the way out but not so much the way back.

The first camping night is always the rockiest. I’m overstimulated from driving, exhausted and usually have some sort of camping malfunction or weather issue. We’ll circle back shortly.

It felt good lying there, truck wide open 50°

Drove back down the canyon hills to pick up Shane from the Airbnb and grabbed breakfast. I’m not the biggest breakfast fan it sits on my all day long but if I’m traveling one of my favorite activities is to go into town and sit down at an outdoor cafe. I get to people watch with a pastry in my mouth and a local brewed coffee. I chose the diner breakfast I’m an eggs and toast guy.

Can’t recall the name of the restaurant it seems a mainstay but it was delicious. Moab has some good food for a tourist destination.

Stopped at the local grocery to get some grub for camping, firewood, water and drove back up 313 to find a camping spot. Took a detour to drive down Potash road to check out some petroglyphs.

Tons of BLM land up here with a labyrinth of dirt and gravel roads. We camped in this area last year Shane was a big fan of the last spot we found last year so we set our sights on it again. When you consider the amount of little zigzags of trails are up here and the fact that every rock and landmark looks exactly the same it gets tough to retrace your steps up here from a year ago. We put some miles on those trails looking for it. We looked at a few other spots and I’d veto if the trails were clay filled. Rain was a guarantee that evening. I like Moab but I don’t want to sit in my truck on a trail in the middle of nowhere 3 feet in the mud. We found the spot literally as we were about to turn back. We set up camp for the first time, took an hour break from each other’s presence and then tossed a frisbee I’d bought in Moab earlier. Like good South Carolina rednecks we had a little target practice near a little ravine. Hootin’ and hollering like we were 19 years old working together at the Hyatt again. I grazed the target my first shot. Didn’t come close after that. It’s all legal out here calm your tatas.

Built a fire in a makeshift rock pit and we sat down to relax. The Utah desert winds weren’t having that shit so it blew a girthy gust through our campsite and my awning went up in the air about eight feet and the poles flew in the air like javelins. One narrowly missing Shane’s head. I jumped up to unlatch it from the rack so it wouldn’t bend up like an umbrella. We nearly lost a big heavy awning the first night. I had it bungeed and tied down at several points and Mother Nature just looked at it and said “how cute” and then blew us a windy kiss. I found my camp chair about 30 feet down the desert. For some reason at the same exact moment Shane’s phone started alarming us of a flash flood warning. It was a tad jarring. We aren’t in the paths of any floods were are camped above a ravine with about 200 yards to spare. Came real close to changing campsites. We moved the truck sideways to shield Shane’s cot tent from the wind.

Kinda happy not to have that RTT anymore. This is exactly why I changed camping rigs. The rain came at bedtime and has been steady since. Only packing we have is rolling Shane’s cot up and rolling out. Should be gravel roads all the way out. I don’t like getting stuck. My first trip to Utah my old truck got stuck in some sand at Lake Powell while pulling my trailer. I bought a 4WD the minute I got home.

Today’s itinerary will be discussed I figured the rain would shake things up we had Hanksville on our schedule but Hank is all clay off roads. Not gonna happen. At least not today. We may scoot down to Escalante and 4WD to some slot canyons. Camp and head out to Bryce and hang out.

It’s only 5:45am here my sleep patterns haven’t budge yet so I’ve been up for a while. Also forgot to buy coffee. So now I’m under stimulated.

Gonna put my headphones on and enjoy some quiet before I wake up sleeping beauty.

Cheers

We were packed and ready to go by 10:30 Saturday morning. I’d spent the last week shoring up all the critical supplies to insure I didn’t forget anything vital. We both packed a little lighter than last year’s trip. I had my trailer last year storage wasn’t a big issue. As far as big gear the only thing I really sacrificed was my Honda generator that we used in the middle of Escalante to power up my ecoflow. I had two coolers last year and opted for one big Dometic fridge. It’s bulky but it’ll hold Shane’s one gallon of tea, milk and orange juice (inside joke)

Shane is the ying to my yang on these trips. I’m always in a hurry he’s Captain Mosey. Shane’s laid back unless you’re talking shit about Jesus then you get to see his 6’4” frame swell. (Another inside joke). He observes my moods and compliments me when he sees me overcome my tiny fits. He bought me dinner last night and I need to remember to thank him for it although we didn’t talk that much around dinner he was completely absorbed into a conversation with a braless woman from Ukraine. We’s spent the last 30 hours in the truck together a conversation pause was healthy.

The drive was uneventful for the most part. I-40 bridge construction is always fun we spent over an hour in queue status and then crawled through the one lane twist and turns. Got clogged in Nashville and hit a little congestion in “Padooky” Kentucky. We got on I-70 at 9:30 pm and got off of it at 5pm the next day. A drizzle here and there but nothing close to the storms and floods from last year.

The truck has mileage was as expected. It got a little poopy in Kansas climbing the western plateau while a head wind pulled my truck back like stirrups. The ride over the Rockies was majestic as per the norm the back nine of Colorado is much more fun to play than the front nine. The first 60 miles of Utah have no gas stations, no sign of life except for one rest area. WiFi in the truck comes in handy. Speed limit is 80 mph out here and with the crosswinds and all upsie daisies ain’t no way my truck is reaching that speed. The road into Moab was majestic as always. If you get bored stop at the gas station by the exit it resembles Area 51. Don’t buy gas there unless you want to spend over $6 a gallon.

We Airbnb’d last night to soften up after the long ride and get our one real shower for the first part of the week. I’m gearing up for a Dead Horse Point sunrise hopefully the clouds will be polite this morning there’s a chance of a little rain in the region and that impacts a lot of activities up here.

Dry – offroad good

Wet- offroad really bad

We aren’t doing anything technical by any means I’m driving a Tacoma turtle with 600 lbs on her back. I’m also not carrying a compressor to air down my tires. A humpty hump we go.

It’s a 45 minute drive to Dead Horse and sunrise is in 70 minutes. I’m taking my time I’m not sure what kind of critters like to cross the road in these parts. This will be my fourth time in Moab. I usually pop in for supplies and head out but today we are hanging and decompressing. We”ll scout for a camping spot this afternoon or head to Canyonlands down the street. I had Hanksville down for this evening but I think it can wait. It’s supposed to rain there tomorrow we may try to catch in on the flip side. I don’t want to pull up for the night and look over my shoulder for rain while we are surrounded by bentonite clay. I don’t care how good your 4WD is you’re screwed amigo.

I’ve gotta put my Dead Horse Point digs on and ride.

Cheers

This week has been a tad chaotic. I always get a little antsy before long trips leaving work unattended for that long gets me anxious. My wife automatically steps up for me and it stays in my head that while I’m out having some fun she’s back at home taking on additional responsibilities and stress. It sticks with me not because she holds it over my head she doesn’t do things like that I just feel like I’m dumping my everything in her lap. Add that I work very loosely nowadays I’m no longer much of an organizer.

My extra employee “what’s the potato salad recipe?” Me- “potato’s and salad.”

I’m loose about work until I’m not obviously I put a lot of attention and love into my food just not the structure anymore. My wife, being my business partner, does the things I hate and I do the physical labor. I’m extremely appreciative of her support.

Got my camper 6 days before departure and had my awning re-fabricated and installed at 9pm last night. My fab guy got my plans Tuesday afternoon and made some bars for my camper top. I told him I had to leave Saturday morning and he spent his evening making my bars.

Solid guy. He helped with my bus I turned into a camper, has done several personal mods for me, pannier racks for my trailer, brackets for awnings and several other things. Appalachian Outfitters in TR. Look him up if you have an old 4WD you want to revive. Good dude. I’ve thrown him some doozies.

Packing adds to the antsy we aren’t going to the beach and a hotel we are driving the hotel and all its amenities. Towels, furniture, water, light source, bedding, toiletries, room service, cuck chair (just seeing if you’re paying attention). You don’t remember what you forgot until you need it and usually it’s too late or you have to pack up all your shit to go get it and come back. I did this with water one time in Sedona. I had everything in my camp except for the one thing I need to keep me alive. It’s funny how some of the things we take for granted are the things we can’t do without. The tent was set up on the truck, awning was up, chairs waited to be sat in. We called an uber to take us into town to buy some water. The places Shane and I are going to in Utah won’t have Uber and even if they did we don’t have cell service to call. Keep five gallons of water with you if you’re off grid camping. Not talking to your backpackers out there just the car campers. You use a lot more water than you think you walking data centers.

Awning is up. My truck is officially 9 inches wider can’t wait to snag a Starbucks drive through canopy. Also I’m aware my gas mileage for my truck is complete garbage now but life’s short folks.

We depart Greenville at 10am and have no intention of stopping until we get to stop one- Moab. That’s the ideal time and place if there’s even an 1% chance of drowsiness we pull over to get some rest. Shane works all different shifts his sleeping patterns aren’t like mine I turn into a real bitch after 9:30-10 just ask my family who hung out with me until 10:30 last night.

Full blown diva

Spending a couple of hours at work this morning to install a few more fire extinguishers while I’m gone..

If I had one gripe it would be that I haven’t tested my camper in any environment as of yet. It’s going up space mountain on its first adventure. That’s a Ric Flair reference we aren’t going to space mountain although the terrain will say otherwise.

My truck springs are sitting under some fat you think South Carolina has a pothole problem go drive around on desert roads out west. We may be in for some bumpy rides. I’ll have to deal with my suspension after we return.

Last year’s trip we encountered some fun flooding and tornado warnings on the way out. Pitch dark, midnight Kentucky shit storms. My gps was fickle and we zigzagged for about two hours. We didn’t hit smooth sailing until we passed Kansas City. Ever driven through Kansas? I’ve harped on this before. Anyone that has driven west to Colorado will all tell you the same thing. The drive through Kansas is the most underwhelming experience of your life. 400 miles straight across the heart of the country. 6 trees, 39844738282 tumble weeds and a decent gas station every 60 miles or so. It seems much longer than that because the first two hundred miles of eastern Colorado is exactly the same. Eastern Colorado is just western Kansas. Oklahoma is just southern Kansas. Throw in northern Texas too. Bring a book with you while you drive across the state. I’ve cycled across Kansas I can say whatever I want about it. Ever rode your bike into a head wind for 2 days in 90° weather?

Builds character. I think either an astronaut or a president was born there. Eisenhower’s childhood home- Abilene. He wasn’t even born there. The only guy to have dropped the big one. Drop one of those bombs in the middle of Kansas and no one would even notice.

Where were we? I don’t even know anymore.

I should finish packing.

Kyrie Eleison

I’m sitting in my camper at 5:02am because I’m an over 50 kid. I’m that kid who takes all of his toys out to play as soon as he brings them home. I didn’t have much time to acclimate myself with the camper yesterday the drive to Wilmington and back was enough adventuring for one day and all my gear is at the deli.

One of the reasons why I like this set up is I can sit up comfortably so I can write when I wake up. Morning time is my creative peak. When I go camping I never sleep well and or the morning temperature puts a hamper on my typing. Hands get real cold in a tent at 40° and I can’t type with gloves on. The very first things I added to this camper was insulation, heater port and an overhead fan. This thing can go pitch dark or it can open wide with windows and back open to feel like I’m sitting in the shade on a summer day. Rain, sleet or snow, I’m in a good place. No more canvas flapping all night. There’s no bathroom, sink, kitchenette or anything like that. I prefer to do my things outdoors and sleep inside. Double bed that folds into a couch. This would make an amazing tailgate vessel if I did that type of thing. Actually I suppose I do exactly that when I camp. Except for the full cooler of beer.

I’m labeling my journal entries “On the Moon” with the intention to encourage me to write more when I’m not distracted in the outdoors.

My awning may not make it to Utah with me my load bars lack the length to hold. That’s a giant pain in the ass to reckon with in a short notice of time. I’ve got an outfitter in Travelers Rest who can do just about anything but he may not have time to fabricate some universal brackets and drill them into my camper. Utah is awesome. Even more awesome when you bring some mobile shade with you. I guess it’ll be hats instead. We’ll survive regardless. I somehow managed to camp without one on several trips years ago. If you’re ever in need of a vehicle outfitter Appalachian Outfitters is your guy. I’ve given him some ridiculous ideas and he’s done it without any hesitation. Solid guy too. His name is Mark the Bus Guy in my phone because he helped with my bus a few years ago.

This camper would be a little cozier if I wasn’t sitting at a 20° angle. My truck is the size of our entire slanted driveway. It’s one inch from the road.

We leave for Utah Saturday so I have a couple of days to get all of my shit together for its 10 day mise en place. How to Tetris all of the gear into tight spaces all the while retaining a living space. It gets real tight once you put a week’s worth of gear into the back of the pickup X 2 if you have a companion. Add to the measure that the companion is 6’4” 260 plus and you have a sitcom traveling cross country. Pick your travel companions wisely. You’re gonna get to know each other really well.

Body odor

Poop schedules

Weird looking moles

Bad habits

Nostril whistles

Snoring

Digestive noises

Patience

This is Shane’s second cross country trip with me. He’s the only one to ask to go again and that list includes my daughter and wife. I can be difficult to be around at times although I’ve gotten better, much better. I made mental notes on how to be a better traveling roommate last time so we shall see. We’ve both agreed to skip any discussion about politics or Jesus this go round. I think Shane was ready to swing on me by day 2.

Spent the earlier morning hours looking up spots in New Mexico. Deciding if we want to hit a camping spot on the way the or back. Southern route across I-40 is the route I’ve always preferred to cross country. Obviously if I’m heading to the heart of Colorado it’s I-70 for about 15 hours worth of driving but the south route, other than the gridlock in Atlanta you don’t encounter too much traffic. Maybe a little driving through OK city and a some in Amarillo. Atlanta makes up for all of it. I’m checking both routes to see if I want to drive further out or further back. Further out makes more sense the drive back is brutal after a week of dispersed camping. An Airbnb on the last night of the trip is a good idea to soak your bones in some hot water, comfy bed and a restaurant cooked meal. Last year we arrived home about 5am Monday morning. I slept most of the day exhausted but smiling.

After reading this over I think Moab first makes the most sense. Done son

This trip will be a good time. The camper is what I wanted it to be.

Simplicity

Secure

Sexy. Not really it’s just a big box with shitty gas mileage but it’s exactly what I was looking for. I don’t feel exposed in inclement weather, it’s safe for when I pull over next to a methadone clinic in rural Kentucky to get some sleep. I may of mentioned this before but I always check out the gas stations where I pull off to sleep in a random parking lot. If the clerk looks like a meth head or the beer in the coolers are all shitty cheap domestics and twisted teas I leave. IPAs mean there’s some sort of gentrification nearby. Sounds dumb but it works.

I never pull over within 20- 30 miles of a large city.

Worst places I’ve parking lot camped – southern Kentucky gets real sketchy, any place within 20 miles of St. Louis I try to drive as far away as possible. O’Fallon can kiss my ass.

Santa Fe was oof

Northern Texas is where all the serial killers sleep

I won’t camp at any gas station inside of West Virginia.

I’ve actually heard that there are numerous serial killers on I-40. I take that with a grain of salt but I don’t stop for anyone. Car broke down? Hope you gotta cellphone. Hitchhiking? I ain’t your boy. Even if I see a child walking alone I’m keeping my gun by my side while I do a check on them.

I’ve mapped out about a dozen worse case scenarios in my head when I’m camping in lots. Regardless of situation I won’t be caught off guard. I will make front page news if anyone opens my camper while I sleep. I pack for bears but mostly humans.

I may take some time off of this media for that week. Keep my eyes on the road and mind in the desert.

Cheers

I’m hoping to end my camping limbo today. Camper top I purchased in November arrived outside of Wilmington Friday afternoon. Too late for me to get it installed last week I tried to set an appointment for today to get it snapped on when I called Friday but they didn’t call me back even though the last thing said on their side of the phone call was “I’ll check on your camper and call you right back”

Left a passive aggressive message on their phone and now I’m sitting at a Starbucks 1.3 miles from the Outfitters with my finger’s crossed that I can do a walk-in service for today. I’m 4.5 hours from home, drove up yesterday afternoon I had plans to walk around town but town was drizzling and windy. Thunder didn’t help either spring can be loud in the early weeks. Most of the local fair was closed due to Easter so I walked across the street to Longhorns for dinner. Yep I know exactly what to expect from a national steakhouse chain before I get any eyebrow raising I cut my teeth in the industry in this exact type of concept. For about 16 years. Yes I do judge the shit out of these places when I go but it’s also for nostalgia purposes. Longhorn’s cuts are better than what I can buy at the grocery store these days and as long as the grill cook doesn’t press the shit out of my MR steak I’m easy to please. My food was fine not exceptional, service was decent once I actually got my silverware and longhorns longhorned like a longhorn should.

It’s an exhausted concept. It’s old, stale including the staff there’s no abundance of energy for sure. I can’t blame them if I was still working at my old company I’d probably sleep with a gun in my mouth. That was dark and unintended. Little hyperbole to start off my Monday

But still. Yeah no thanks.

Same furniture style, commercial table tops, food safe carpet, stacked stone walls literally the same as my old steakhouse on woodruff rd. Place was packed with Easterlings and fat little toddlers. Loud and abrasive, thankfully no one was sitting at the bar. Jesus wouldn’t approve. Manager with shirt half untucked from constantly reaching up and adjusting the tickets in the slider or spindle. I feel you bud. Your expo floor was a mess. You missed that 20 minute line sweep timer. Not one server with a smile on their face. I’m not blaming them on bit. I’m not judging either I lived this life, all sides of it for half of my life. I’m 6 years out. That dinner made me wish I was 20 years out.

Viva La Longhorns

I’m gambling on my hardheadedness to get my camper installed without an appointment today. I’ve got a little customer service ball drop on my side since I never got a call back and I’m hoping for a smooth transition. Best case scenario I have to wait a few hours I’m prepared for that. Worse case scenario I have to find someone to cover the deli while I drove 9 hours round trip again. Rather not do that. Why the rush? Well I depart for Utah on Saturday. This camper took a month longer than what I had originally planned. Not their fault but also not mine either. Not pointing fingers just want my camper on top so I can put all my shit that’s been sitting under my house back on my truck. It’ll be 6 months since my last camping trip. Some don’t see it as a big deal but it is for me. This is what I do for a living. I don’t work for a living. I work to pay bills. I camp to live and I haven’t since early November. Just imagine being a die hard football fan as most of you are down here and your sport being canceled for the season.

No bueno amigos.

New set up, new camping logistics. I have no clue if my awning will work without any fabrication and I can’t call my fab guy this short of notice. Kinda want some shade in the Utah desert where we will be returning. By we I mean my bud Shane who went out with me last year. He might be the only person more excited about this trip than me. We went last year at this time but we were pulling a trailer which made some offroad trails too tight. Making up for it this time. We are more acquainted with Utah for part two and more comfortable with banging out. These trips can put stress on friendships not in a bad way by any means. It’s exhausting, lot of driving and zero privacy. Can’t wait to see Shane’s naked butt again. You don’t sleep well the entire trip or I don’t and the rigorous life of having to setup and breakdown everything you do daily takes its toll. All that said I love every bit of it.

Our initial itinerary:

Leave Saturday AM

Drive straight to Moab and camp Sunday evening. Back up is Fruita, CO if we encounter any delays. Hanksville for day two for moonscape overlook, long dong silver (yep that’s its name) and camp in Goblin Valley

Leave for the Canyonlands and explore some offroads and cliffs. Head south to Bryce. We stayed in the Escalante area last year and may have to revisit Hole in the Rock road. It’s an 60 plus mile offroad that dead ends at lake Powell. Not sure if I want to tread on a washboard dirt road for three hours. I don’t carry an air compressor with me I don’t want to lessen the air in my tires. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Bryce to Zion, Kabal and some hurricane cliffs. Then slowly edge back home. I’m excited, my compadre is excited.

Lotta driving. Hope to skip all the floods and tornadoes this go round.

Gotta get that camper on top first though. I’ll camp in a tent if I have to I don’t care at this point.

Time to pack up and use my charm. Wish me luck

Peace