Bearded Gang

At least I think it is.

2026 finally dropped the first month into the toilet and pinched us off with February. I’ve got a new Mumford and Sons song in my ears. I dig it. No coffee in the house this morning so I put in the nearest Starbucks into my phone and it took me to the one inside the Grenville Memorial Hospital. I wasn’t dressed for public viewing so I took the next nearest suggestion and it took me to the one on Augusta rd which also does not have drive through access so the employees at that one got to see me in my finest threads.

Any Starbucks eye rollers here? Yeah I drink Starbucks. I’m open minded to any new coffee shops but most of you taste the same. Usually Counter Culture coffee ish and I’m not a fan. I like Leopard Forest but not the drive. I like coffee underground also and will hit them up if I’m in the area. Another well known, local coffee spot I’m not a fan. I just think they’re asshats.

But Chad Starbucks tastes burnt.

I like burnt

If my spoon isn’t congesting in the sludge I don’t want it. I half expect the spoon to come out bent.

Yesterday was a banger. We had 250 individual boxes to make for a catering. Sandwich side was not so good but thankfully it worked out because I needed every moment of my sandwich guy’s free time. Delivery was at 5:15 we finished and arrived at 5:12. A little too close for comfort. Individual boxes are not my favorite thing to do but they pay the rent. I went in at 8 and didnt look up until 5. Grateful for the work. Not so much the assembly.

Still navigating the new home. I’ve figured out where 10% of our previous home inventory is located so far. We probably had coffee but I wasn’t going to lift one more lid to one more box for a least another 48 hours. My autocorrect turned “hours” into “Boris”. Makes sense I don’t think I’ve typed the name Boris in my entire life.

Boris

Boris rings large bells in dark churches

Boris is the number one henchman because he’s reliable but not smart

Boris is a small country dictator that picks his nose.

My new living room has 6 spotlights and a ceiling fan with two lights. Just in case I want to watch dust particles form in live action. I could do surgery in this room. I put a lamp on 15 feet away instead. No one needs that much illumination in such a small square footage of space.

My cat is nestled beside me it seems she’s made the transition into comfort once again.

How about those Epstein files though..

I need to seek out a new gym soon. I took a year off from the grind at the gym. I have a membership at Anytime/24 hour fitness or whatever it’s called by Publix in cherrydale but I stopped going for some time. It’s not much a month but I don’t remember how to log into anything online to cancel which means I have to drive up there and talk to someone. Oof.

I may join the Y again. I drive by it every day. All of my weights at our home are scattered to and fro. I just wanted to use that term. It’s been awhile.

February is wild. It was January for 8 months and now it feels like March is tomorrow. It’s like a month sandwich. The 4th? Gtfo

This was a shorty of a blog. I got my 34th on of the year in. I’m good with that. I’m not going back to proofread either. I rarely do anyway.

Cheers

The more I move the less I enjoy the effort of relocating. Each year we seem to accumulate more belongings. More storage boxes are purchased (I don’t mess with cardboard box quests) and the attic gets smaller and smaller. It doesn’t help that we bought 27 gallon storage boxes and the width of the attic doorway is regulated for 26.5. Which means I have to turn the boxes sideways for passage through the rickety drop steps with just enough edge for my pinky toes to pinch down like a rock climbers grip to keep from falling backwards to my 7 foot doom. Attic stairs have not evolved since their inception. I can zoom in on an ice cream cone in a child’s hand in Guadalupe from space but I still have to reckon with a staircase that’s 9.5 inches wide and rolls out like a foil blowout.

The movers were nice and extremely chatty. The only box they dropped was one filled with constructed Lego’s. We now have more projects to perform. I did get a kick out of one of the movers pointing to the sectional and asking “we taking all of this?”

Nah leave the corner as a tip for the next tenant.

We have two cats and if you’re a cat owner then you know how well cats deal with change. Stairs are a new concept for them currently. The eldest keeps going up three to four steps and returning. Most of yesterday it sheltered behind the dryer meowing its protest of the upheaval. The younger one seemed unbothered. It also has the IQ of a nickel.

A clutter bomb has landed in this home and it’ll be sometime before the house feels settled. I have a rather large catering today probably the biggest we’ve ever had and then I have to assimilate for a new menu along with Valentine’s Day boxes. I still haven’t found a vocation where I don’t have to indulge in this ridiculous holiday. As a 35 year representative of service industry establishments I can say I’ve never had a relaxing February 14th. Great for business stimulation.

I’m done being stimulated.

Gripes for the new home so far-

My neighbor’s porch light is over 100,000 lumens. I wouldn’t be surprised if their outdoor furniture were melted.

I’m being a big baby but I don’t like climbing stairs to go to bed. As a ex long distance runner my knees don’t enjoy steps first thing in the morning.

My truck is the same size as the front yard

Outside storage is none. My camping gear is now hanging in my work office

I have to walk further for my coffee refill. I’m stretching for that one and honestly over all I dig the dig I’m three miles away from my old neighbor who despite my best spell casting didn’t drop dead on his lawn the entire time we lived there. I checked our ring cam for the coroner daily.

Jk

No I’m not

We have so much shit in this house it’s ridiculous.

One thing you don’t think about until after you relocate is where to find your new four to five takeout restaurant options.

Mexican

Sushi

Burger and wings (it HAS to be both)

Chinese

Pizza

We are walking distance to downtown albeit it’s squeezed between gentrified and cracked homes. Is it odd that as I get older the cozier it feels to live close to a hospital?

Broken hip falling down the attic stairs? No problem! St Francis is 30 seconds away. I was born at the original St. Francis. How the world turns.

Cool story bro

I’ll have a new walking route soon. I’m actually excited about this having walked literally every single street and side street in N. Main. I wish I could’ve tallied all the miles traveled in that neighborhood. Average 3 miles a day, 4 days a week. I probably clocked over 1500 miles. That’s almost Denver. Highway miles.

I’m staring at 6 storage boxes in the kitchen and all I can hear in my head is the song 🎶 Black and yellow black and yellow black and yellow.. It’s wild that someone took the moving box industry by the horns and now everyone uses these boxes.

Black and yellow black and yellow 🎶

I’m listening to Hemi-sync sounds currently. I have a harp in one ear and xylophone in the other. My ass is back on the same seat of my sofa just a little different view now. We have two extra bathrooms man that was needed. Any venture away from the house for more than an hour meant three people scrambling into the house to call dibs on the toilet.

I’m gonna miss the vibe of the old house. It healed

This one will hold for as long as needed.

Bathroom has a nice shower head too. This is where I am in life. I like casual comfort.

The snow has made me a little lazy I’ve missed three days of work. I’m a momentum guy. Now I want to retire.

Side note with zero relevance- I don’t think I’m a winter person anymore. Still not a summer person I’m becoming an October 1- November 15th person.

Maybe an April person

The toilets here have flushing options. For the ones and the twos. I wonder what happens if you push both down? Is there a three option?

I think that’s enough writing for the day.

Peace ☮️

Something odd happened to me a year ago on this date. It would actually be tomorrow that I experienced it but I’m certain that it was two full days of benediction that brought it out.

Pulled it out?

Slapped me in the head?

How do you describe a spiritual awakening that you’d never heard of before? You hear about spiritual awakenings and you think about the hand of God reaching down to touch you, nudge you, speak to you. Jesus and all his friends clapping as you wake up.

I can’t tell you what that’s like. What I felt is all relative to these names and theology but at the same time it’s off a little.

Backstory – I went to Hunting Island State Park to relax for a couple of days last year. First night I had dinner and partook in about 4-5 grams of psilocybin. I indulge in mushrooms about twice a year. I’m not a pro or expert I take them from time to time to let go for a bit. Mushrooms are amazing. They connect the dots in your brain for you. I could write a small book on the benefits of psilocybin but it’s not the subject of the story this morning and I’m moving out of my home in three hours.

For brevity let’s say mushrooms help things make sense in the world with ease.

The night was fun, low key. I walked around the campground at night with a blanket for a shawl with my headphones on and stared at the stars for a bit. And pine cones.

Next day was a regular ole day. I hung out on the island and watched the palms dance in the wind. Had breakfast, lunch and dinner and proceeded to hang out in my tent once it got too dark to do anything else. I was in my environment, headphones, feet propped out of the tent. It was a cool 55° ish and I was smiling and profiling. Around 9pm a song came on my headphones I’d heard a few dozen times before but this time it hit a little different. Different is too mild of a word. The song, instead of playing into my ears, decided to enter my entire body. It resonated inside of me and shook me out of my current state of mind. I hit a euphoric state so intense that I felt like something much bigger than me touched me.

Shook me.

The euphoria was so intense that the only thing I could think of was I was dying and this is how you phase into the universe.

Or I had already died.

I sat in my tent with tears rolling down my face and chills all over my body. My initial thought was literally “what the fuck just happened?” I threw myself halfway outside of my tent to catch my breath. I thought I was dying. My face was flush my tent was hot even though it was February. I thought I was going to hyperventilate. After about 2 minutes that felt like 2 hours I came back down and crawled back inside of my tent. I smirked a little with a WTH? and lied down. It took a while for me to relax, in my head I was still downloading the experience. I do recall thinking at that moment “hey please don’t make me a messenger of spirituality, I’m the wrong guy for that shit”

That should’ve been the first sign that my life would never be the same. I knew something shook me awake.

The next day was just another day. I had to go back to work and spent my morning folding everything up and packing. I do recall calling my wife and while talking I had mentioned “something odd” happening last night. I didn’t tell her I thought I was going to die last night and I don’t recommend ever saying something like that to your significant other.

I felt weird. I recall a ringing in my ears for a while that day. I went back to work, a little sluggish from the drive. Went home and life resumed back to the life of Chad.

For a bit

Weird that the song that rang in my ears that night is currently on my headphones.

This is where it gets hard to explain things and directions.

My mind shifted over a brief period.

I started to have interests in subjects I didn’t even think about before that night.

Carl Jung psychology

Rumi poetry

Chakras

Gnosticism

Multiple realities

Nag Hammadi

Hermetic philosophy

Ancient symbols, coding

I could go on and on. Other teachers I’d never discovered or focused on and much more.

366 days ago I couldn’t tell you a single thing about any of these people or subjects. The subject matter alone would’ve gotten a raised skeptic eyebrow from me if you brought it up in conversation.

That’s when I started seeing my trail markers. Highlighted thoughts and signs in my head.

Intuition spikes

Vibrational changes

Algorithms

Patterns

Gut feelings

My mind went into a reset mode. Not overnight. It was subtle and thank god because it’s been a hell of a ride to this day.

Something cracked open my mind. Wide fucking open.

I’ve been trying to figure it out ever since. Not occasionally mind you. I wake up with it in my head and it doesn’t fade until I go to bed.

It’s not an obsession it’s my life now.

I’m going to breeze through this part and walk lightly. I’m not here to try to convert or change your opinion on life or religion. Not my place. In fact unless you have experienced what I have you won’t get it. That’s not some elitist cult bullshit I just don’t have the words to describe the feeling and emotions.

People get weird when you don’t align with them spiritually. Sometimes angry and I’m not here for that. I’m not here to change your mind. It’s not my job or prerogative.

Once it’s there it’s there to stay

There’s no “eh I’m over it”

Once you see/feel it doesn’t go away.

You dont need validation because once you experience it your intuition holds it for you. It changes how you see things. You aren’t turning back the gate has opened on one end and closed on the other.

It changes you

How you approach things

How you feel about things and others.

The first few weeks I was thinking I was experiencing some sort of psychosis. I was all over the place. I hadn’t learned yet how to filter out all the noise in my head. It’s not like an app download in your mind it’s a complete reset with a new software update. And you don’t get any tips or instructions.

A giant veil gets ripped from your eyes.

Your reality changes. Literally everything does.

I thought I was crazy for a bit but after doing a little legwork I find more and more people that have experienced the same thing as me.

Same

Exact

Intuitions

Perspectives

Stories

Feelings

Coincidences. Actually there’s no such thing as a coincidence.

It’s like you joined a club of a few thousand.

But

It’s growing. People are waking up. I’ve witnessed a few fb friends wake up and I’m like “hey! Welcome to the new world!”

I’ll say this and this is all you’ll get from me unless we are talking in person.

We’ve been lied to for sometime.

A loooooong time

About what Chad?

Literally everything.

Every

Thing

The world is a stage of distractions and chess players.

This is why I dissociate from current events. This is why I don’t engage with politics and news outlets.

Sorry y’all I’m no longer here for it.

I disconnected. Actually that’s not correct. I connected to my real self. A much higher self. No that doesn’t mean accession or any higher level of authority or life. I’m just starting to think on my own for once with no outside influences.

Connected by Stereo MCs is on my headphones right now. Quite the coincidence. Oh wait there’s no such thing.

“If you make sure you’re connected

The writing’s on the wall

But if your minds neglected

Stumble you might fall”

There are so many coded songs with messages out there if you listen closely.

Prince threw it in your face several times.

Music

Hertz

Vibrations

It’s all connected.

You won’t find it it’ll find you.

Hold on tight when it does.

Sometimes I wonder if I actually did die that night. I walked out of that tent a different person

Oh well. Time to finish packing

Peace ☮️

7:15. I haven’t been outside or looked out of the window today. I know what to expect. Another day of being grounded in my own home. That’s not an exclamation of drama I’m not upset or anything I’ve lived in the south my entire life I know what these once in a decade snowfalls do to this area. I don’t try to fight the weather during this time I take a loss and wait it out. I’m thankful the power is on and my house and family are warm.

And my cat

Was suppose to move yesterday our home goods are in suspended transit. Snow came fast. Rescheduled and currently sitting amongst a labyrinth of 27 gallon storage boxes. Yellow and black or not apart of my home color scheme. It’s obnoxious. Our dining table is hidden behind a Great Wall of picture frames and sealed textiles. Moving can be a tad stressful. Now add frustration to the equation. We aren’t even placing the toilet paper into the roller. Needless commitment.

I don’t like disorder. Not in a neat freak way I like my clutter to be in its mise en place. My rooms, home and work space all replicate my energy and style. Im a little more into interior design than your average straight man. I enjoy being surrounded by certain textures, colors and shapes. I love earth tones mixed with bohemian themes, loud centerpieces and random placement of pieces of art that make people scratch their heads. My mantle before we started packing had books, a banjo, camping van made from legos with Beastie Boys action figures surrounding it and some sage. I have an old armoire to hold some clothes and camping gear using garage shelving for compartments. My first house was a bungalow. When you walked into the front door to the living room you immediately saw orange ish walls, blue in the dining room and yellow kitchen.

I was still trying to find my decor vibe. I painted a room red once. After my 6th layer of paint I decided red would no longer be a primary wall color.

I don’t really put much effort into our rental home as far as color goes I’m not painting someone else’s walls. I don’t enjoy painting but I’m fairly quick when I paint I rarely tape anything I’m too lazy.

Deli is a good extension of my taste in decor. I love exposed wood and concrete floors. My entire ceiling would be tongue and groove if it were possible. Metal components. I didn’t hand pick the tile as much as I picked it from a small line up from a friend of mine.

I smile when I slow down long enough to witness the work that came with building it out.

I walked through the new home Friday. It was my first time in the house my initial introduction was 2 minutes of a videoed walkthrough. It’s a new build I’m a “this old house” type of guy although I despise having to repair anything that’s too old to maintain so I enjoy a good mix. If the house is new I decorate with older things to balance. Old home goes opposite. This isn’t my ideal home and it’s not supposed to be if that makes sense. It’s a 2 year hotel room. I’m not expressing negativity about the home it’s a cozy place from what I’ve seen. The Gangwers haven’t found their ideal long term sanctuary yet but my focus will slowly start to develop into that function soon. Our last family home for a decade wasn’t meant to be. In fact that entire lifestyle was a result of multiple situations that seemed to put us in a bind that accumulated over time. We basically walked away from that home without waving goodbye.

That’s it.

We had a lot of wounds to lick. Healing was needed. This house was the rest home. 5 year sanctuary, it held us together.

The next one is a cozy waiting room. A building point.

I zone out at times on my dream home and the more I think about it the more I go from space, location and size to energy, practical and ease.

I like practical with a tad of senseless. Maybe a little absurdity.

All I know is I’ll have some goats, chickens and a few alpacas.

And somewhere I can stick my feet in the water. It wouldn’t hurt my feelings if it took you a few minutes of driving down my driveway before you saw my house. One other must- sunrise or sunset has to be able to shine on my porch.

A greenhouse would be a nice touch.

No neighbor close by, for some reason I always have issues with all of mine. Maybe a big dog. Not sure yet we are still mourning our last one.

I may go for a walk out in the snow today the temperature doubles at noon to a ripe 32°. First month of January hasn’t disappointed.. I handle these things better than I used to.

A new Sturgill album would help.

A campfire too. Maybe a collab of both? It’ll be March before I camp again. I’m manifesting a trip out west soon with my buddy. The San Juan’s are calling me too. So two trips this year

Today will be another rest day. I use to feel guilty about these days for not being active but I’m making up for the days when I didn’t have this opportunity in the past. I’m juggling three books at the moment a bit of fiction, documentary and a learning guide.

Avett Brothers – Laundry Room ringing in my ears.

“I am a breathing Time Machine

I’ll take you for a ride”

Good balance.

Peace.

Journalling daily has its challenges. Subject matter can be an issue when your mind has been on repeated loops the last couple of days. Not much adventure surrounding the Gangwer household with iced roads and days filled with packing. I did manage to get out of the house yesterday afternoon. Took my daughter with me to Spartanburg to look at camera lenses and then lunch. Did you know that there’s only one camera shop left in the upstate? Within at least another 100 miles of its nearest competitor.

Wild.

We went downtown and had lunch at my buddy’s spot Delaneys. Kevin’s a swell guy and yes I would drive 40 minutes to support his biz. I like downtown Spartanburg it reminds me of Greenville in the mid 90s. I can breathe up there. No hate on my friends with businesses downtown Greenville. Crowds are good for you. Just not me.

I’ve watched a lot of drama with the regional meteorologists over the last storm of the century.

I’m not a meteorologist. Not by a long shot. Can’t tell you a damn thing about it other than current temperatures when I’m standing outside.

But

Why do we need personality for weather forecasts? I’m not an AI can replace anyone person but this would be an appropriate situation where AI puts out the forecasts and we run with it. Meteorologists aren’t standing outside in shaman garb, eyes rolled back in their head, teeth clicking while staring at the clouds “BIG STORM COME TOMORROW”

They’re reading and interpreting data to incorporate into predicting weather patterns.

Am I wrong with thinking this can be done without the play by play to help increase viewers to see the next pop up ad?

It’s not the meteorologist. It’s not that half the time they aren’t accurate. It doesn’t bother me. As someone who tries to spend as much time as I can outdoors I’m appreciative of the effort. I don’t take my chances in inclement weather if I don’t have to.

It’s the sensationalism

They, like news organizations like to provoke emotions by using scare tactics and bullet points emphasized with words like “crippling” “devastating” “horrifying” “possible mass casualties”

Listen

Fuck off with this shit. No one needs this right now the country it’s already wound tight.

I’m not saying don’t listen to them. Not saying the weather can’t go to shit.

Weather shouldn’t be used as a sales pitch to boost fear. And that’s exactly what a lot of them are doing.

Also don’t live your life to react to every situation that comes your way. Planning is paramount.

I’ve got Carolina Chocolate Drops on my headphones. It’s been years.

Justice fans don’t come for me you know I’m right.

You never realize how much shit you nail, tape, glue to the walls of your home until you have to take them down. We have a ridiculous amount of stuff.

Our belongings are obese. Obtrusive. Why do I need all of this? The energy of “look what I bought ten years ago and have no attachment to but it pairs well with that chair I don’t sit in.”

I want to get rid of all of it.

But

I won’t

Some old energy keeps me intact

Time to go back to work. Can’t remember the last time I spent three days off with no outdoor activities.

Peace

Slept in today. Did the same yesterday. I woke up at my regular time but when I maintain consistent horizontal levels I can usually get another hour of sleep. Yesterday was a quiet one. I watched two movies while under a blanket that I bought for camping two months ago that still hasn’t seen an outdoor setting and probably wont for another month. I sold my RTT and truck topper a lot faster than I intended to so my truck is naked until March when my new camper (hopefully) arrives. Both components sold by two weeks. Hey marketplace folks, things sell much easier when you respond to messages.

Just an FYI

We are moving in 5 days. This old home no longer feels like home it’s a labyrinth of packing boxes and displaced furniture. By the end of today we will most likely be reduced to one fork and knife per household unit until we’ve been relocated.

The queueist of queues

The coffee maker will be the last thing packed up.

I normally go outside for a moment with my feet in the grass to wake myself up but I’m going to sit this one out. A broken hip at 7am just doesn’t resonate with me right now.

Snow days are good for reflection. I did go for a couple of walks, one of them to the local HT to grab a few snacks and such. I walked around the neighborhood with a bag of sun chips snacking as my feet crunched the snow. Headphones on in my own little world. Occasionally I’d get an icicle to kamikaze off of a tree branch and slide down my back to bring me back home.

I took up to two naps although one happened along as I was meditating.

I’m rested

I’m calm

This whole month has been underwhelming in life and I’m riding the wave as intended. The last two were completely the opposite. Little aches and pains that I accept as my daily fate have receded into numbness for now. Rest was needed. As stubborn as I am to maintain perpetual motion everyday I’ve learned that rest is still vital to healthy self. The world is no longer mine to take over. I left that baton in the ditch.

This is usually my meditative time of morning. I do my stretch routine, drink a pint of warm water, respond to messages and then sit in my zone for 20 minutes. Meditation time.

I get some sideways glances when I talk about meditation. A lot of people think it’s new age, hippie, mystical and even foreign. I used to. The first time I attempted it years ago I went full Sukhasana with my legs crossed over and immediately got cramps. Took 20 years off and tried it again.

Listen

Yoga doesn’t have to be you covered in linen garb, legs crossed, fingers formed in dual ok 👌🏼 signs, cross legged on a rug made from your ancestors. I do yoga on my sofa. Relaxed and comfortable. You don’t have to light a candle or burn sage. You just have to be still with yourself.

It takes time. You gotta breathe first.

There are several different breathing exercises you can do I’m more of a box breather sort of the same the Seals (navy) do it. I breathe in for 4, hold for 6, exhale for 6 and hold for 4 more. Repeat as long as you want. It takes a little time to get a cadence down. It’s all about rhythm. The first few times I jolt myself up because my lungs weren’t getting enough oxygen.

You’re just sitting still, no distractions, no moving around. Headphones really help. I use an eye cover too. 20 minutes minimum.

A lot of people try it and get frustrated. Too many of you expect some sort of accession from meditation. Prana lighting up your body. Astral projection, seeing lights dancing around or shapes like you’re on DMT. Yes there are some breathing techniques that can release your DMT. I’m not the one here to tell you how. I’m aware of the practice it’s just not something I’m trying to achieve at the moment. It’s not that I don’t want to I’m just not ready to.

Don’t think of meditation as a gateway into another world or reality. It may be for some you can definitely go off the charts a little bit with it depending on where your brainwaves are. I went into a blog awhile back about brainwave levels, not sure I posted it or not I’ll have to look back on it. One year ago I wouldn’t have been able to explain a single thing wave to anyone. Life is wild y’all.

Meditation can’t be forced. You have to be in the mood and by that I mean you have to set the stage. You have to be relaxed, you need to be still. It should be relatively quiet for focus.

I put my headphones on and I’ll insert specific playlists I’ve curated for the mood. Sometimes it’s music I enjoy other times it’s hertz levels. Or spa music. For a few minutes I’ll shake my mind free from daily thoughts while I slow my breathing down and once my lungs have relaxed I start my box breathing. I count at first to get the rhythm down but after a few minutes I’m in my own little breathing pattern. It took a month or so to get here. I don’t time how long I do it I sort of go with the flow. Probably three breaths a minute once I’m locked in. All I’m doing is slowing down my own little world.

Shrinking it and slowing it.

I’m not trying to stop myself from thinking. You can’t yourself from thinking it’s like trying to stop your heartbeat. You can regulate your heartbeat with enough concentration and your mind. That’s all I’m doing is regulating my mind. And my nervous system.

I’m not trying to erase my thoughts. I’m studying them.

I’m listening.

Your mind is moving around a thousand different directions I’m only trying to get mine to go down one straight line for a bit. No zigzagging.

Focusing

It takes a while. Think of your mind as an antenna for cosmic WiFi. You get better reception in some places than others. Nature you get less distortion. I’ll sit in my zone and visualize a WiFi network scanning for reception. I’ll see the little WiFi symbol moving from the dot up to the last rung seeking out my cosmic receiver. Whatever is on my mind I don’t try to fight it. I acknowledge it and keep seeking. It’s like you’re looking for a specific face in the crowd. You’ll bump into others and have small conversations with them until you’ve found the one you want to talk to. I’m referring to thoughts not actual beings we aren’t talking about DMT anymore.

Meditation is like anything else. You have to practice. The more you do it the more it makes sense as to why you should. Meditation connects the dots in your mind. If your brain is a jigsaw puzzle meditation helps you put it together.

It’s a problem solver. You’d be surprised at how easy you can relate to things when you slow your thinking down.

You react less to your emotions. You’ve spent time in your zone to break down triggers and behavioral loops.

You can address old trauma. You become your own therapist in your mind. No one knows you better than you. Your mind is connected to your soul’s WiFi. All you’re doing is creating less distortion and noise.

It takes time. Patience. Once you get into the rhythm you’ll know. Sometimes you’ll be able to see a distant field of light if you do it enough. That’s a whole ‘nother thing to discuss and this isn’t the time. There’s a lot out there to see.

I’ve kicked most of my depression to the curb. By addressing little jolts of thoughts that try to render my mind. I can’t stop thoughts from coming. I can acknowledge them now and tell them to bugger off if they arrive. As long as I’m not distracted.

When you meditate it’s not as much as a “what do I want to think” about it’s more of a “why am I thinking about this?” You see it, you feel it, you hear it.

You reckon with it. It’s a dusty thought on your shelf that you pass every time you get up to grab something out of the kitchen. You’re aware of it but it’s been there for so long that you don’t even look at it anymore. Filled with old dust and dander, it just sits on your shelf taking up space. Meditation brings you to that dusty thought and asks “what do we want to do with this?”

Do we dust it or do we throw it away?

Toss it hombre

After a while you’ve got a clean shelf on your walk to the bathroom. You no longer walk by it like it doesn’t exist in fact as your walking by you smile at it because it’s cleaned up, organized and you’re like “fuck yeah I did that”

The more shelves you dust off the more you smile as you walk by.

It’s that simple.

I could be very overwhelmed right now with my house in a boxed up mess but I’m fine.

My shelves are cleared and dust free.

As long as I maintain them that way.

I’m going to finish my coffee soon and relax. My deli is closed due to the weather. You win some you lose some

Ebb and flow

My shelves are empty.

I’m not a fan of fear style headlines. Or clickbait headlines but I’m specifically referring to the ones the media sources produce for scare tactics.

They’re all over the place on social media. I can’t speak for tv news I haven’t watched it in years it’s mostly propaganda as are most other news outlets. If I am scrolling on social media my eyes will occasionally slow down on a news story that will cause me to pause and roll them to the back of my head. Not at the subject of the article but the headline itself.

“Mother of 3 killed in road rage incident 2 days before Christmas”

How does this article make you feel?

Sad. Three children just lost their mother

Angry. At the person or persons that killed her over a traffic dispute

Right before Christmas? Now we feel even more sad and outraged.

Next we read the article

She had just left the mall to get her youngest son (who has a mental impairment) the Lego set he’d always wanted. She’d just left her third shift job she specifically picked up to afford her children gifts.

The person who shot her? They’ll (journalists) dig up something in regards that the perpetrator was out on parole for waving a gun at someone while they were pumping gas or previous road rage issues.

“Judge let them go with a slap on the wrist”

“The victim was this color”

“The suspect was from this country”

“The gun was purchased at this establishment”

“The children’s father is a deadbeat”

“The gun laws in this state allow this”

We, as readers and followers of these news outlets respond in kind.

We are saddened by her death and as even with just a smidgen of empathy we should be. Grieving over tragedy is natural.

But

Then we get into the article and the verbiage the author wrote for us to engage.

Then we get angry and agitated.

“The judge should’ve never let him go!”

“How did he get a gun if the state doesn’t allow guns?” Gun laws don’t work for criminals!”

“Oh his parents were illegal immigrates? Who was president at the time they entered? Oh of course he was!”

“She had three kids and no father? People need to practice birth control better!”

“Have we heard both sides of the story?”

This incident happened 2000 miles away from your community and here you are.

Fucking pissed

Outraged

Sad

Scared

Distracted

Overwhelmed

It started out as a tragedy and by all accounts it was.

But

Now you’re even more angry because it’s been attached to the narrative that you’ve attached to your own identity. Some of us the narrative has become our whole personality.

Weather

Currently my biggest peeve. Obviously it’s trending that’s all I see now when I go online. There’s probably a few local meteorologists that think I’m a troll. In a way I suppose I am. I harp on their posts because of the wording of their posts.

Crippling ice

Devastating winds

Exploding trees

Ice quakes

Listen

Fuck you and your fear tactics

You sound a little jaded Chad.

Nah

Just awake

I’m not trying to steer you into the “all news is propaganda” narrative. It’s not all bullshit. It’s not about what’s happening but about how it’s displayed for us to see. It’s delivered with boxing gloves and volatile rhetoric.

The news has to sell tickets to make money. To sell tickets they have to create a story/agenda/pattern/narrative.

They build the stage. We become their audience and fill the auditorium with boos and cheers while they clench our energy with their fists.

Sounds dark doesn’t it?

My views can be viewed as skewed if it makes you feel better. I dislike the media. I don’t trust the media in fact I despise the media.

The news media is owned. Simple fact. If you watch the news on tv just look at the commercials that pop up in between. They’re the ones paying for it.

Listen

I’m not saying all news is fake. A lot of it real life happening around us it’s just wrapped around a narrative and big corporations that have a lot to lose and or gain. It’s not paranoia folks. It’s literally right in front of our faces. I feel like it’s necessary to repeat that. Some of you still think big brother is one your side.

Chad are you a conspiracy theorist?? Oh yeah I love all kinds of conspiracy things. Did you know the CIA was the ones to brand the term “conspiracy theory”? Oh the irony.

I don’t watch the news anymore and if you’re one of those people who are addicted to outrage and virtue signaling I’ve most likely hidden you months ago. Good for you but I prefer to separate my personality from the propaganda. I know that may sound like some smug shit when I say that. It’s not my intention but I get tired of the whole “if you don’t side with my pov or opinion then unfriend me”

I enjoy the fb friends that I can engage with and have no idea who they voted for the last decade.

Pure energy

My beliefs lately have been based on the belief that we are all just energy. Not matter, energy. Matter is created by energy. “Energy can’t be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another”. A very smart man with big hair said this.

I know about .001% of quantum physics. I’m fascinated by it.

Energy has been my kick for the last year. Not Duke energy or anything like that.

The real thing

Our energy

The one thing we should have complete sovereignty over.

But

We don’t

Or at least most of us don’t

We all have it. We all use it in our own ways. Some have a little more than others. Some can light up a room with it. Others can take yours away. It may be that boss or coworker that always seems to sap your energy with their stories or presence. That one you try to avoid throughout the day. You can feel your jaw tightening when they walk in the room. You want to leave immediately when they show up or you want them to leave.

Acquaintances at parties or functions

The one neighbor that’s never felt right anytime you have a conversation with them

That one cashier or employee of a place you frequent where you suddenly find yourself avoiding them at all costs. You can feel your energy draining when you’re around them. It’s not just your imagination.

Another example – ever come home and you can tell that your significant other is in a bad mood before you even exchange words? You can feel their energy in the room as you walk in. My wife can read my energy the moment I come home. I don’t hide it I wear it like a hot boiling pot on the stove. We all have energy fields surrounding us like a vibrational aura. That’s all we really are.

This isn’t mystical it’s science

We don’t run out of energy. We run low on focus, drive and a lot of us lend it out to other people and things. People that suck it away. Subjects that control our attention and focus.

Like the news. Current events whether it’s articulated or expounded.

Energy is power

Simple example- your favorite sports ball team always plays better at home. Well if your team is worth a shit they are suppose to.

Home field advantage = mass manifested energy hurled into one thought- WINNING

The cheers, roars, claps and boos are directed at one specific team to give them more energy than the other.

How well does this work? Let’s use college football as an example because I’m more interested in it than any other sport.

Recent data shows college football home teams win 64% of their games when playing on their turf. In the last five years from the 20 seconds of google research I did. 63.8% to be exact.

It brings up familiarity of your surroundings, travel time etc. All which are forms of energy. Comfort in your surroundings gives you more energy. Less travel time = more rest time = more energy.

Simple sally equations here.

Bands playing fight songs = augmented energy

Cheerleaders

The song entrance to hype the team and the fans are great energy builders.

Fucking cannons are going off for fuck sake. This isn’t just added theater this is to ramp up everyone’s energy.

Energy is matter. And it matters

Even when you’re watching the game at home. If it’s a close game you feel deflated or elated once it’s over all the while sitting with your feet propped up on the coffee table.

“I’m exhausted!” You should be you just gave most of your energy away watching a football game.

NFL the home team doesn’t pull off the win as often. Money is a factor. Money is also energy. In fact it has its own current. Don’t worry college football is almost there.

Energy

Why does the media like to control our energy? Simple

The energy of focus is a powerful one. If you get enough of us on the same page with the same actionable thought, things get done. Or the opposite direction we don’t allow things to happen through the sheer volume of resistance.

We are incapable of any sort of meaningful collaboration for change because we are pulled and divided in several different directions.

By the media and the ones that control it. You think a large media outlet is going to bash a company like Pfizer when it gives hundreds of millions of dollars in sponsorship? Why do we need ads for prescription drugs? Do you know how many countries allow ads for prescription medications?

2 – US and New Zealand.

No paranoia was harmed in that last point. Am I a paranoid person? I’m sure I could be labeled as one but if you’ve read something on here that’s not true feel free to educate me.

Collectively we are dangerous of what we are capable of when our energy is focused on something positive.

Hard to come up with an example nowadays. Unfortunately we’ve become stadium fans of opposed politics. We don’t have discussions anymore because the internet has given us the green light to spout nonsense without actual evidence or knowledge. Trust me I’m not above the bullshit. I’ve only just now learned to backspace and logout.

So insert media coverage from two point of views (left, right) divide and conquer. The ones on the fence get whiplash watching both sides argue over plots all created by the same entity.

Does this work well for them? Yes

Because our energy is being pulled around by multiple sources and distractions.

Can you imagine a rival football game where the visiting team is not allowed to have seats available for their fans? No voice? No one allowed to cheer for the opposing team? Or say for every 1000 seats the opponent is allowed one fan. What’s the point?

Now imagine the home team’s energy. Everyone in the stadium hyper focused on the big “W”. The electricity pouring through that stadium would hit outrageous decibel levels, amps would go up to 11 and the chances of the opposing team winning drop dramatically. Now if you got that entire stadium filled with 100,000 plus energized maniacs and you could get them all to focus on one local current event such as oh I don’t know, a corrupt institution of well dressed folk then watch what happens.

If you focus that much energy into one specific thing or task it’s going to blow the doors off of whatever it’s attached to.

Take water for an example. A shower head feels nice paired with the perfect amount of water pressure to temperature control ratio.

If you take that same amount of pressure and push it through one little hole instead of 50 the force of energy increases. You have one incredible stream of water that feels like it’s trying to bore into your skin. With enough pressure from a strong enough water pump it could cut right through you like a hot knife cutting butter.

Focused energy.

You’re always at your keenest when you’re focused. I’m in a zone when I’m unplugged, early morning, no breakfast and I’ve stretched my body and mind. Once I log into this ridiculous app I’m pulled away from my thoughts. I watch friends argue and harp on the same patterned shit every day. They’ve also been pulled away from their thoughts and emotions.

Their energy

My energy is being pulled towards some BS I don’t align with and yours is pissed at mine for not sharing the same vibration

Agenda

Lifestyle

Narrative

Perspective

Outline

Empathy

And so on.

We aren’t meant to have this much outreach for outrage.

Our energy is being wasted as it has been designed to by others.

Some would call it energy harvesting. I could go deeper with that but I’ve probably caused 20 yawns by now.

I don’t watch the news anymore because I don’t have the energy it requires. Actually I’m not allowing the energy it requires. Honestly it’s the same with sports on a grand scale. I never liked how I felt sapped after watching a three hour long sports show where my emotions were running rampant. To pull for a team filled with athletes who’ve I’ve never met. Pull against the other team and despise those that pull for them. It wasn’t good enough to just watch the game and enjoy it. I’d go online and sustain arguments with complete strangers that dared say rude things about this team I liked. They play sports only 140 miles away from me how dare you! I’d get anxious before the big game. If they lost man it fucked up my week and I still have to deal with the faceless asshats that keep talking shit about my team for a week. A whole ass year if it’s a rival game because I was made to hate the opposing team. All of that energy was directed at me.

Why is it my team anyway? I have no ownership or control. I don’t get any money from them but they sure as hell get mine.

I’m keeping my energy close. I’ve been doing it for a while and after time you become much more aware when it’s being pulled. A fishing line with a hook carrying whatever pulls you away.

I don’t know the endgame to this ice storm of the century I’m currently sitting in. We got some ice for sure. And it’s going to get real cold today. It seems we caught a break. That’s the way I need to look at it. Not the meteorologist is a nitwit although boy I could direct my energy that way.

It’s better to be safe than sorry.

It’s better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.

Yeah yeah

The verbiage to incite and to scare was certainly there. And it worked. Man we (the consumer) spent a shit ton of money on emergency goods this week. I let the headlines of Helene get to me too. Scared the shit out of me and now I get a little PTSD from these warnings.

It zaps my energy.

Well done sirs well done.

Listen

This is obviously 💯 my opinion. For the most part.

I’m not trying to take away any of your energy.

Just giving out some free awareness.

Peace and fuck the media 😇

I’m not tone deaf to the fact that not everyone can be prepared for a regional crisis at all times. Space, money and time are resources that some of us don’t have.

But

Reactive < proactive

It bothers me and I don’t have a reason as to why. Ok I have a few.

It drains supplies because everyone goes on auto bulk in purchasing. It drains the inventory, wipes the shelves clean. Everyone goes into panic mode when they don’t have enough toilet paper to wipe their ass for 6 months.

Shit hits the fan not your fanny.

Others will try to best the elements due to procrastination. That means cars in ditches, power lines getting plowed which brings first responders out in this shit. Regular folks forced to drive to work because you forgot peanut butter at Food Lion.

All because you didn’t take this shit seriously.

If you have a family always have a few things on hand.

Gas can

Non electric heat source

Knowledge of how to filter water or a water filter. Containers to hold that water

Solar panel and battery

Generator

Food options with a healthy shelf life. Knowledge on how to preserve

Portable shelter

Protection

First aid kit.

I realize the price tag on those items can be overwhelming. Suffering is too. Weird how 10 years ago we didn’t really harp on these things and here we are about to face regional disaster for the second time in less than two years.

Helene PTSD anyone? I’ve got some and all I dealt with was no power for 9 days. I got a little warm during the day time and was out of work. When thunder shakes my house now I get anxious. I spend 20% of my time outdoors. I’m prepared for these times by proxy. It’s my hobby.

I don’t fear the ice storm. I have shelter. I have blankets I live in the south barring some pole shift that wrecks the hemisphere I’m not concerned about freezing to death. I’m surrounded by trees I can find a heating source I don’t care if I have to build a bonfire in my backyard.

Small hack, if you have a tent you put one up in your home during power outages and curl up in with a sleeping bag to stay warmer if your heat is out long term. Don’t shove your head inside the bag. You’ll wake up with a runny nose.

It’s not the weather it’s the people

The people scare the shit out of me.

Panic mode

You get a mob of people out of their comfort zones and add a little anxiousness and walls begin to collapse. I went to Home Depot yesterday around 7am for a couple of reasons.

1. I’m a weirdo and I like to walk around places like these to see what I could use in an emergency situation that’s a little outside the box. I also like to watch consumer behavior. What goes first, what’s left.

2. I watch everyone to see how they react to emergencies, interact with each other and staff. Body language, sense of urgency. I’m watching your nervous system so I can know when I have to worry about mine. When y’all start getting out of hand I’ll stay home for a bit. I’m not getting stabbed over a gas can.

I also went to my local grocery store to see what was available and what went first. It’s amazing the amount of healthy foods still left on the shelves but that’s just our culture. The parking lot was full at 7:30. Everyone with a sense of purpose. No casual strolling.

I didn’t attempt Costco. Nor will I anytime soon.

I did this during Helene. Stood next to a line for propane and watched the fidgeting, body language, nervousness. That was day two. By day three I watched two people argue over a gas pump and read about another fight over the last bag of ice.

Day three. That’s all it took.

Imagine a month. Thats why people worry me. We don’t know how to act when all we do is react. I’ve got a family. I do my due diligence to make sure they are taken care of in these situations. When others don’t do the same it makes me nervous. Don’t come knocking on my door. Peace of mind may cost you a few hundred bucks. It’s worth it. If I didn’t have the deli my family and I would be halfway to Florida right now.

I don’t think it’ll be as bad as the fear mongering meteorologists say but I don’t take chances with my family. Also when did we start naming storms? Names give storms identity.

Weird

So much easier to refer to a devastating event with a first name.

Katrina

Hugo

Ivan

Helene

Now Fern is it? You don’t give something a name that you don’t want to keep around.

My generator is primed. I’ve got 10 gallons of gas and a full tank in my truck. I’ve got 4WD but I’ll walk before I drive somewhere.

It’s not me it’s you.

I’ve got 20 gallons of water containers. Two batteries. 6 little propane tanks for cooking. Old kerosene heater with a pack of wicks and fuel but not that much I only bought one of the last two. I left one for the next person. It’s not that hard to be considerate. I can go without but I won’t if it’s not necessary. I’d rather leave some fuel for your grandparents.

I got coffee, books and blankets. I’m good for a bit.

If you bought some things just for this storm I’d suggest keeping it around for the next one. They seem to be coming around more often than they used to.

Don’t sell your peace of mind on marketplace. I watched a lot of folks up in NC sell their generators and solar powered goods on marketplace after Helene and I was like “ehhh I’d hold onto to those if I were you”

I got a battery for cheap because of that.

Stay safe yall. Peace

Bought my real first camera yesterday. Well ordered the body for one on Amazon. There are no camera stores on this side of town other than Best Buy and well their inventory is mostly computers and phones nowadays. I’m not a camera person so I researched for a few weeks and opted for a fujifilm that is user friendly but still able to upgrade with some lenses that cost a car payment.

I’m following my trail markers

I’ve always enjoyed photography it was the reason why I scrolled on Instagram before it became a multi ad agency. Can’t wait to take some pics of rocks and shit

Looked at some of my old memories on Facebook. On this day in 2020 we’d just wrapped up our holiday party at LTO. A month later a germ would come and fuck it all up. I recall my mind at the party that night feeling distant from the festivities. I wasn’t quite Lt. Dan on New Year’s Eve but I wasn’t vibing. Couldn’t feed into the energy. It could mean anything but I feel like I was already leaning towards the inevitable separation. I don’t harp on these moments anymore this is more looking back on my transition of things to come.

I also acknowledge of how it annoying it was to refer to my staff as work family. That term annoys me now. That’s not to say I wasn’t close to anyone I have about 6 to 8 people that I’ve remained in contact with after all this time. One or two of them actually support my deli. Two of them still work for me.

My real take – I wanted to be the best boss in the whole world. A player’s coach. After my brain cooled off from all of my self indulgences and ego I saw I fell short on several things.

I’m not looking back and beating myself up about it. I’m only acknowledging. Lesson served lesson learned.

I cared and I tried until I didn’t. By the last year I was walking people out the door on a regular basis.

Man that seems like so long ago. Even now I’ll catch myself with my one employee and offer an apology for my behavior.

*turns big fat page

Simply Red – Holding back the years is in my ears currently.

“Well I’ve waisted all my tears”

“Wasted all my years”

“I’ll keep holding on”

I’m fine y’all. I’ve alchemized these memories into life lessons. It’s quite healthy.

I’ve also been on an 80’s new wave kick lately.

Had some old memories picked up and taken to the dump yesterday. I’m sort of an everything has a soul person. All matter is energy so why not? I threw out some things I built for my old camping set up, an old painting and a workout setup I’ve had for a decade.

Memory is attachment. Attachment is emotional. I sat outside in my garage for a moment and looked around and thought “this is how easy things can go away”

Just like that. Things that were a daily part of my lifestyle.

I didn’t watch the game last night. Not a single play. It took a minute to figure out who won on social media all the clips were focused on the little scuffle at the end of the game between two players. If this doesn’t fairly represent our media coverage then I don’t know what does. I finally saw a good clip of Mendoza making his picture perfect leap over the goal line and that was the entire game for me. 17 seconds of football and I’m good.

I have my weekly coffee date with my favorite teenager today. Gotta go warm up the truck.

Peace.

We are in a feverish state of packing at the moment. Signed a lease on a home across town with 14 days to put everything inside of a packing vessel to be ready to roll for the movers coming on the 31st. After a certain amount of time you can no longer call onto your friends to help you move. My friends are all well into their 50’s now and trying to picture them helping me haul a sectional into a box truck seems like an action of insanity. Add me to that group I no longer have the whim to carry large pieces of furniture from one place to another. I don’t care how much it costs I’ll start an onlyfans if I have to. I have one friend that helped me move so much that when I text him out of the blue his first response is “I’m not helping you move a couch.”

-side story I used to buy a new or used sofa about once a year for a decade because I’m like Goldilocks when it comes to furniture.

“This one is too hard”

“This one is too soft”

“The pillows sag on this one”

“I keep falling into the crevasse”

“The seat is too deep”

“This one smells like a gerbil when it rains outside”

“This one is sticky” (any leather sofa in the summer)

We’ve got one I enjoy now. The cushions still sag though

I don’t move furniture anymore. In my younger days my wife would come home from work and I’d have moved a 9 foot sofa upstairs to a nook in the bedroom solo. I have no idea where that brute strength came from or where it went because now I have to stretch before pushing a barstool up to a counter.

I took down about 20 storage boxes from the attic that had last seen daylight from our last move. We all have these storage boxes of old memories that we refuse to release from our grips.

Ancestral trinkets that would evaporate into dust should oxygen get into the seal.

Multiple books of fiction you’ve had since you lived in a dorm

Clothes with tags still on them that you intended to wear for a special occasion that never occasioned

Keepsakes like that cigarette bud that was smoked by Eddie Van Halen you pulled out of the ashtray and put into a ziplock bag (I kept it for 5 years)

That one unlabeled VHS tape that you can’t get rid of because you don’t know what’s on it and don’t want it to fall into enemy hands.

That briefcase of 100 CDs that you’ll never listen to again but you invested half of your 90’s income into your song library and toy refuse to part with it.

The fun discovery of old loose photos that fall out of the boxes while you’re packing. We all sit still for a moment and smile at these regardless of how ridiculous we used to dress ourselves back in the single days is thirstiness.

Finding old photos of your parents

Old work parties where everyone has crooked faces from getting tequila bombed

That party shirt you used to love and wear only during the drunkest of fests

That group of friends that were your best buds in the entire universe but you’ve all lost touch

Occasionally there’s a photo thread of “yep into the trash with you” where you cringe

Old love notes and cards that remind you of what’s always the most important

Daughter’s art and thank you notes. Her old stuffed animals that you refuse to throw away because it would be like throwing away memories of her childhood. I can think of at least 3 or 4 that will always be in our possession.

Linens and textiles man for some reason I refuse to throw away old blankets and pillows. I finally tossed some aside yesterday.

Junk drawers, the social equalizer. I bet even the pope has one. A fun thing to do sometime is to empty out your junk drawer and notate the contents. We have three of them. One with random shit no one knows if it’s important to the other so we swipe counter contents into the nearest drawer. Loose change, travel cup lids from assorted yetis phone cords from yesteryear, receipts just in case the accountant needs to know if you’re writing off a box of Tictacs from QT.

The other junk drawer is for specified items of use. That random screwdriver that’s used to cut open envelopes, dull scissors for on the spot crafting, 14 bottle openers, warranty of the air fryer that hasn’t been used for 4 years that sits under the kitchen counter in your junk cabinet (do I need to talk about this one?)

Glassware, this is a peeve of mine. A family of three doesn’t need 47 varieties of cups, mugs, pints, steins, cocktail glasses, flutes, Nalgenes, wine glasses. Literally no one in my home drinks wine.

Camping gear? Oof. I’m so happy I have four different fold out tables and 5 camping chairs. One that I ran over but I’m still like “I can fix him”

I have things on top of my fridge that have veins permanent unused fixtures of posterity. I’m sure that one of those ceramic airtight containers with no label holds a dead aunt’s ashes inside.

Electronics that are outdated. I still have my flip phone that I refuse to throw away because it has old pics of my daughter on it. I’m sure one of the 135 old chargers I’ve saved will revive it.

Redistribution of your furniture into another home is a crap shoot. Everything purchased within the last 5 years was meant to fit in its specific location and niche.

A mise en place of movable fitments

If the room is too small you may have to move that accent chair into the bathroom

If it’s too big you have to go out and buy some whimsical piece to sit in the corner of the room. Where else are you put your folded laundry for three days?

Pulling off old photos from the walls, tape taking 4 layers of leaded paint with it. Then you’re left with this thought of “does this one get hung back up?” You can see my nipples through that shirt.”

*looks around living room filled with boxes and clothes

*sighs

This next home won’t be home it’s temporary but necessary.

As I said last time we are Queuing

Got a junk truck pulling up this afternoon to remove some old stagnation. It’s needed and also necessary

Scooter Blues is playing in my headphones for some reason it resonates at the moment. “Wave to the world, screaming “Hasta Luego!”

Gotta finish packing up.

Peace