I got a Freewrite keyboard not too long ago that I’ve been struggling with. It’s a great tool for writing without distractions but I’m struggling with the display screen. I find myself scrolling around the little screen looking for infractions more than I actually type. It’s annoying me. It’s not the Freewrite thing it’s a me thing. I think writing from my phone this entire time has changed the way I can write. Two weeks writing on the Freewrite and I haven’t finished a chapter. Maybe I can blend my Jetpack writing with my Freewrite. I don’t want to discard the typewriter but I’m getting frustrated with myself. Yeah I’m trying to write a little fiction to exercise my mind but my energy is being consumed by scrolling around the tiny screen looking to find my last thought.

I’m not giving up yet but today was a Freewrite day and here I am typing on my phone instead.

I have my sister’s funeral tomorrow it’s been years since I’ve gone to one. As I sit here I just realized I never got my suit dry cleaned so …. fuck me. Wardrobe has not been on my mind. I inserted myself in to do the food for after and that’s all my mind has been on other than the event itself. This grief period has been slow and hard.

Grief bleeds like molasses sometimes.

See? I’m supposed to be writing fiction this morning.

Work has been a drone existence lately. I’m there but I’m not. Some of it’s my sister while another part is me struggling with “what’s next?”

I’m looking for my step pep. It’s hiding from me. Seriously doubt my weekly dose of camping will be available this weekend with Hurricane something with an I approaching. It’s odd how excited meteorologists get when hurricanes come to shore.

I think that’s why they annoy me. That and when it does rain I always feel like the meteorologist had a hand in it. I know they don’t but I like putting a face on things that piss me off.

Lotta faces out there

But

Not as many as there used to be

I got a diesel heater for the colder months up ahead. I’m excited about the 60 clamps, hoses and pipes it came with. Should be a fun time putting together my mini camping HVAC project. *sarcasm drips out

I’m not an assembler y’all. My parents would buy my ass a model car to glue together every birthday when I was a kid and it would be in the trash the next day after I managed to pull the tiny glue covered muffler off my finger tips.

I can put furniture together but you better cover your kids ears.

Legos? I won’t touch em.

My brain doesn’t enjoy that type of activity. Assembling

But Chad you assemble charcuterie all day everyday.

Exactly

Now you get it

I like to create. I don’t like putting things together that I didn’t create.

That’s all

I am excited about this heater though. It wasn’t that long ago I’d wake up in the back of my pick up frozen in an aluminum chamber of ice. I wear a hoodie in my air controlled home. I also wear 5in inseam shorts 11 months out of the year so cheers to consistency. My coldest night camping was a hip camp set up next to creek outside of Chimney Rock. It probably didn’t dip below 25° but I was in a cold pocket froze my set up completely. I sat in my truck the next morning with my heater on blast until I thawed. I’ve slept in 15° nights and never got that cold. I don’t usually camp if it drops below 30° unless I’m guaranteed a sunrise to warm me up. If there’s moisture in the air you can forget warming up organically.

But still, I love it

2-3 inches of rain in the forecast this weekend. I don’t love that. Have fun Fall for Greenville fans. In all honesty I hope it doesn’t get rained out. A lot of people look forward to this event I’m no longer one of them just because I was so attached to these events in the past. That’s why I snark on Euphoria and restaurant week.

It’s completely personal. Nothing against the events at all. I’ve discarded them as stress that I no longer have to attach myself too. The last euphoria event I had a part of concluded my career in the restaurant industry.

*smiles

I feel good today in spite of the world’s mechanisms trying to bite my ass.

Kiss and make up, my ass

Old Chad is still there at times

The clock strikes 6:59am

My writing has concluded for the morning

Cheers