About a year and a half ago psilocybin opened up a new path in my brain and left the gate wide open.
How’s that for an opening line?
It’s taken me a little while to analyze a quiet evening I was having inside of my little rooftop tent back in February 2025. Minding my own business with my headphones on, feet propped out of my tent on a cool winter night on the coast. I had done a fair amount of psilocybin the day before. I’m not talking about a Dead show amount and I don’t carry a gram scale in my back pocket but if I had to wager I’d say about 4-5g of mushrooms. A one and done episode of some nice shiny dream catchers and open minded conversations with myself. The next day I was fine and dandy. Relaxed most of the day by my campsite and read a book. Later that night while I was minding my own business something or someone flipped a record in my head to the B- side, my interior dialogue and view of reality changed forever.
And then some
A massive download
Rewiring
Intuition rebranding
My topsy was turvied
Sometimes I write about this and then I stop. Or I’ll put it in my draft archives and never finish it or post it.
It’s not that it’s that intimate to me and I’m not really concerned if anyone thinks I’m a tad crazy because I may be. “I’ve always been crazy it’s kept me from going insane” – Waylon gets it.
I’ve had 18 months with this under my belt. To stew on, break down, analyze and study.
Stew on? That’s an understatement. When this hits it stays. When you wake up it’s there staring into your soul until you go to bed.
Every single minute of your day.
Some refer to a veil being pulled from their eyes
Awakened from a dream
“I’m seeing things for the first time” – 🐦⬛
I thought I died that night. Slight panic attacked filled with euphoria. Some have told me it was a kundalini experience. Maybe. I’m not here for guru jargon nor am I into spiritual materialism. I do enjoy talking about it and watching my friend’s eyes wither light up or glaze over.
It’s usually the latter. Almost always the latter
- I’m not good at explaining things orally my mouth has always moved faster than my brain.
- No one likes their lifelong beliefs being questioned
I get it. And I’m only here to relay what my intuition tells me.
“Am I dreaming? Am I dying? Either way I don’t mind at all”
Sturgill is right on time.
Listen
One day 18 months ago I woke up after a something inside of me also woke up.
It woke up like a newborn baby. Screaming and bawling “let me out”.
My discernment took a vacation for a bit.
This is where I usually stop.
Because I can’t get the mechanisms in my brain to explain the way I want it to.
And
If I can the amount of eyebrow raising may hurt your face
But
I see others on fb that have the same thing going on in their lives. Maybe not exactly but the planes are matching. Not the ✈️ kind.
*sighs
Psilocybin journey 48 hours later –
“good morning Chad. It’s all fake”
“It’s all a lie
History as you know it”
Reality
Me rubbing the sleep out of my eyes – “wha”
Brain- “yep. Wakey Wakey eggs and bakey you’re reality is not all that it seems”
Me- …. Wha?
Brain “yep. Ok anyway let’s get ready for work”
Me – but..
Brain – “we’ve got charcuterie boxes to fill bud”
Can I get an expla*
Nope. Deal with it I’ll stay in touch
And sent me on my way.
My thinking changed
My reality changed
My 50 plus years of belief systems jumped off a bridge
Religion was the big one and I’m not here to share much about that but my days as a Christian got shook up.
My belief in the history of our humanity and what’s been processed into books got thrown out of the window. I didn’t wake up with it’s all bullshit. It’s taken a long walk with myself and filtering out all the woo woos to come to my own conclusions and that’s exactly what they are.
Mine
I say this for any that don’t see things the way I do.
I’m not preaching
I’m not selling tickets
No cult following in fact the exact opposite.
You start listening to that voice in your head and realize it’s not yours. It never has been. That’s an entire subject line on its own. Maybe another day..
I see things differently now. It’s not my job or business to show you the way. It’s quite impossible to be honest because if someone tried to turn me onto this I would’ve been politely skeptical and left the conversation whispering “cuckoo”
Sometimes I wander if I am cuckoo 🐦
It’s all a stage.
All
Of
It
I’m not going to fill this up with paranoia material. Again it’s not my obligation to.
It’s why I no longer watch the news
It’s why I stopped watching sports
I don’t engage in tumultuous discussions on current topics. What you perceive as news I see as a possible psyops. Not every time and not every thing
But
Close
More and more are seeing what I see. But still not enough.
Awakening? That always sounds over the top. What are you waking up from Chad?
Very loaded question. Again I battle with discernment. Still trying to find my way home
But
Awake? You just start to remember things. My mind woke up and started telling me my life was bullshit. We aren’t meant to be domesticated or controlled. Not in those exact words I can’t translate my entire intuition into a perfect language. I can’t tell what my heart is saying when it beats or my lungs say when I exhale. My intuition light came on and ripped the switch off the wall.
That’s all
You see things differently is all. That’s the veil they refer to you when they speak of a cloth pulled from your eyes because it can feel like that.
You see things others don’t
Or I should say
You translate the things you see differently. That might come across as better. People get in their heads that you’re looking or talking down when this is brought up. It’s not that at all. To me it’s like describing a color to someone who’s color blind.
Again it’s not an advantage. It’s just a different vantage point.
A substantially different one.
I watch people debate each other online and I shrug my shoulders. I want to scream my pov but most won’t get it.
After a while you stop talking about it because it’s not something you can talk someone into believing unless they wake up. See even saying that comes across as elitist and it’s not intended.
You stop talking.
But
You keep observing.
It’s why I go camping every weekend now. To get away from it. Push away the distractions, the games, the politics. There’s no good and bad. It’s all the same. Take what you want from that.
This is going to end abruptly because I have work to do and honestly there’s no “get to the point” because I pretty much did as soon as I said it’s all a show.
There’s no ending to this subject line. It grows as my time does. Anyone that wants to sit with a cup of coffee I’ll talk about it all day.
The minute I wake up to the time I fall asleep. It’s all I observe and think about.
Crazy? Yeah but not that kind.
Later gators
