I have a lot of “what’s next?” anxiousness floating around in my head.

Hold that thought

Not anxiousness more like cloudy with a chance of anticipation. Got alot on my mind about the next six months of work.

Wheels and cogs they be turning right now. I’m referring to work obviously.

Scenarios

Go smaller?

Larger?

Stay? Sit? Heel?

Or go?

Go forward? Well never backward that’s my rule of thumb.

Go away? Ooh show me how please

I get these pings of things. I want to add and delete pieces of the pie.

Rebrand? Never in the same spot. Consumers are habitual. Listen I can tell you from precise experience that it doesn’t work. *coughs in Dive N Boar and three LTO facelifts.

Nah the deli does fine but it’s not really a deli anymore I took away the parts that weren’t working. The real estate controls the flow regardless of how you want it to work out. I shape and mold by consumer reaction. I haven’t changed shit the last 9 months because I said last time “this is it until it ain’t it anymore”

Deep thoughts Jack Handy

In a month or so I’ll go into charcuterie mode until 2027. Good way to lose myself into the vortex of meats and cheese while I reckon with new horizons.

When I opened Graze I had zero confidence in myself. I dealt with a daily dose of “what if I fail?” while I built her. Honestly that thought took a ride with me for well over a year.

Sneered at myself as I wrote a basic sandwich menu. Threw away my new charcuterie menu. I was too overwhelmed. All of those deli update journal posts I deleted.

All of em. I disliked the voice in those entries. I acknowledged the moment and let it go.

I stumbled for a bit

I gotta stop fighting with what I’m skilled at. Period

My future plans? I’m keeping them to myself. They’re still downloading. I know my confidence has been resurrected.

“I can do better than this” rings in my ears while “but do I want to?” stands its ground.

Am I being pulled by ego or the need to be more creative? Do I want to be noticed more or fade into charcuterie monotony? First of my generation to use that term I bet.

Do you have any idea how much charcuterie I’ve made over the last 6 years? Almost 6. I’ve eyeballed my calendar recently. In one week it’ll be 6 years since I split up with Southern.

Some times it feels longer ago. I could write a book about the last 6 years alone. This annual event used to make me angry and sad. It’s hard to describe now. I’ll write this out next week when it hits the calendar. My final release I believe. I’m not up for a long tangent. I will say I’m hyper aware of how events do seem to happen to me on an annual scale.

“History repeats itself” can represent several different ways of evaluation. Life changing experiences can repeat on different levels. I’m better suited for upheavals now. I’ve got quite a few under my belt.

The event may return but the result can be changed. That’s the whole ass entire key.

Graze’s future hangs. No it’s not going away I’m just trying to decide if I want it to step up or maintain. I’ve got some cool ideas floating around.

That’s all

My mind is better than it was two years ago. I need my trail markers to hit turbo or leave me be for a while for a good head clearing.

That’s all

Ride the current

Try not to drown on the way.