Essentially the same thing
That evening sitting cross legged on my old sofa, drunk, deep in depression. Coming across a Instagram story of a charcuterie aesthetic in a small plastic box
*ping
What is this?
Charcuterie in a takeout box? Is that really a thing?
A week later, same media outlet different friend
*ping
Is that charred Brie in a pizza box with a baguette?
Two different friends, two cities completely opposite sides of the country, two concepts collided in my mind
*ping
Can I do this?”
I’ve done some fruit and cheese boards for work. Nothing intricate. Actually they looked terrible.
I can’t do that
Maybe I can
Where?
I have no kitchen
I have nothing actually
But
I did it
Worked from home. Illegally idgaf who knows that anymore cottage laws can go fuck it. I did it. Cars pulling up in my muddy yard for box orders. Friends helping me deliver my boxes on the eves of holidays.
Hey, thank you for that. I was too overwhelmed to thank anyone at the time.
Boxes looked fucking terrible but my old branding kept my head above water until it clicked
Pinged
One day my boxes went into a flow state. All of them. Cheeses and meats clicking like into place like an edible jigsaw puzzle. Remember the look of young Forrest’s face when his leg braces came off and he realized how fast he could run? Confidence kicks in. Forrest hits overdrive.
Same Forrest. Same
Repetition
Devotion
Practice
Practice
Practice
I always look back on those first six months with two parallels
Fuck yeah
Fuck you
I did it
Once I shook off my self doubt I sunk myself into after 2020
The whole world changed that year and so did I.
I was full of self pity
Drunk
Lost
Tired
But
BUT
In the back of my mind there was a like light telling me no matter what you’re going to be fine
Oh I didn’t listen to it mind you but I heard it.
It gave me hope even though I didn’t believe it.
It anchored me when I thought i was lost
A radio signal and song playing in my head for years before i understood the lyrics
It’s just that simple yall
A remembrance of an unfamiliar tune.
That’s all
Sometimes you can piece all the loose strings you accumulated over the last few years and tie them together.
Put a cup on each end and chat with that fella
“Hey! You’re gonna be alright my dude”
And it shows up on the other side as a little light.
You’re gonna do this and this and this.
You’re gonna think it’s hopeless but all you’re doing is building a better you
That’s how I perceive my trail markers. The future distant me telling me how to get there.
How I got there
Here
Every single box
Thousands of them
How many more?
You’ll know when it’s time
Fuck dude cmon
Keep writing
I have. 100,000 plus words man
Keep writing. Keep doing you bud
Ok murky mcghee
The light I know it’s me.
Trail markers are me recognizing it at times
Head and the Heart currently singing in my headphones. A song I’ve never heard before.
There’s times I need direction there’s times I need to roam
I move station to station, I showed you here alone.
“I am my own arrow I am my own home”
Man if that’s not a sync I don’t know what is.
A remembrance of an unfamiliar tune.
