I’m heading into a mass shedding phase

I can feel it building up

Like distant thunder under the sky’s horizon

Deep shit

I turn two 5’s soon. Thousands of people know my date of birth thanks to social media. It does come in handy I can’t recall more than about 6 birthdays other than my own.

My parents (my dad’s is tomorrow)

Some of my siblings but not all. I’ve got a handful y’all

My wife and daughter. Those will remain forever

Barry my assistant and friend shares the same birthday as my wife. I feel like there’s a connection there for me somewhere.

I remember a handful of ex girlfriends and a couple of ex friends.

And Freddie Mercury because he has the same birthday as me.

I don’t care about birthday celebrations anymore. Years ago I would proclaim “it’s my day!”making plans with 20 friends to go out and rage downtown for hours. The party population dropping one or two at a time as the drunker ones would fall off the drunken carousel. Sometimes the star of the show wouldn’t make the entire celebration and he’d go home and pass out.

Those days have passed. And I am thankful

My birthday dinner will be with my two favorite people. It makes me smile to think about it. I can’t imagine a better celebration.

My 50’s have been a different book in my life. We changed stories fast, left behind the prequels, drowned some traumas and shook hands with Captain Peace quite a few times

A subtle transitioning

The great paradox as time speeds up as life slows down.

Each year we slowly approach an invisible edge that we all step off of.

Or maybe we fly

I’m in a mood man. Not of oncoming mortality I don’t give two shits about that.

What if when we finally figure things out the big door finally opens?

I’m not approaching death y’all calm down. I just no longer see it as the endgame is all. I’m probably in better shape in all the big categories than I’ve ever been

Mentally

Spiritually

Physically? I’m tougher, leaner. Stronger? I’m as strong as I want to be. I’m lighter than I’ve been in 20 years. Not from weakness.

I saw a pic of myself from five years ago and hardly recognized me. Yeah side by side it’s twinsie town but I see enough subtle differences to make an entirely different Chadly.

Two

Different

Dudes

5 years ago was when I started molding. Albeit it was almost against my will. I fought until I got too tired to remain that person. I observe him daily. Not from a towering distance. Side by side

55 may you continue to mold

Climb

Ascend

Build

It should be much easier now I no longer fight the growing pains

A download is assimilating

Casted

A meeting between two people

This guy (hi its me)

And

The person I forgot to be

Does that make sense? It does to me

It’s my journal I’ll be as cryptic as I want

*sticks tongue out

Moody Blues are serenading my attention at the moment.

Pause

“And when the music plays

I hear the sounds I have to follow”

A song has been playing for 55 years now. I’m following to tune in

Cheers to almost 55