I’ve got Chopin in my ears right now. Had a friend last night throw some suggestions at me so I curated a little playlist and that’s where we are right now.

Nocturne No. 2 in E flat Op. No 2.

If you’ve watched the Truman Show you’d recognize the composition it plays in the background while Truman yearns for the love of his life as he creates a collage from magazine cutouts to recreate her beauty.

One of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies.

I’m in a good flow right now and feel like I have been for a minute. A long minute

Took my daughter with me to Spartanburg to shop for a pancake lens for my camera. We had lunch at my buddy’s pub Delaney’s and chatted about life the entire time. We took her car because I promised I’d help her wash it that day.

I watched her shuffle through her songs on the stereo. I smiled when she’d play Ventura Highway, Hootie, Johnny Cash, Sister Golden Hair. She has some of her father’s soul in her. We may go see Sturgill together in the fall. If it happens I’ll be counting the days.

I love that she’s well into her 16th year in this life and she still likes to hang with her dad.

Weird math equation but since November, 2 2024, she’s had me longer as a father than I had mine.

My dad passed February 28th, 1986. I did some birthday math in comparison to hers and mine and here we are.

Morbid math maybe

My life changed forever when he died. The timing was a part of that so everyday I notch an extra day of Dad/daughter time that I didn’t get to have with my own father.

I’m doing my best to erase an echo.

Everyday is more precious to me because it’s one more than I got to spend with my father. I’m unable to shake off this equation nor will I.

It’s a necessary awareness I’ll walk with until I can’t.

I’ll never know what it’s like to share big moments in my life with my father. Lord just grant me enough time to be there for as many moments as I can.

I’m crying up a storm right now.

Damn

I go offline in two days. The trip to the camera store was to allow me to find a good lens so my camera will fit in my pocket while I travel. The deliberation I’ve committed to learning this camera is a huge step for me. I’m one of those who buys something impulsively and then discards the item before trying to learn the intimacy of its contents. Or finding shortcuts to apply what I need at the time.

This camera is well out of my comfort zone. I’ve been watching the same tutorial on repeat over and over until things start to stick. Repetition is how I learn things. Until it becomes a muscle memory. I’m still a long way away but it’s beginning to stick.

Something told me to buy this camera. This is exact one. So I did. I need my trail markers to be better bargain hunters.

Oh well. I made my first camera “recipe” it’s a just another name for a filter but it was a big step for me. Understanding all the glossary terms. It’s important to me. At the end of the day it’s all about the lighting though. Photography is calling and I must go.

Went out to find some books for my trip. My intention is to read three depending on my circumstances of travel. As I’ve said before I don’t have an itinerary for this one. I’ll hike when I’m ready and or I’ll pluck my ass on a tailgate and listen to the crickets.

I bought two other things for the trip: a Fender harmonica and some sketching pencils. I used to sketch in my teens and I miss the feeling. Same with the harmonica. I bought one several years ago and it turned into a memory after I opened Southern. I’m not trying to be Bob Dylan I just want to harmonize on my tailgate and maybe draw a tree or two.

I’m anxious about this trip in a positive way.

That’s all

My trips are usually 9 days I’ve pushed this one to 12. It seemed to be the appropriate amount of time. Not sure why but it’s secured now.

The vibe is in the mail

I’m a million miles away in my head right now y’all. It’s a good vibe.

I’m prepacked which means I’ve got stations of gear and clothes all around the home in bug out mode. You ever pack for a 12 day vacation? Now add packing your home along with it. I’m going to forget something I always do. It’s exciting to pull up to a spot 1000 miles away from home and think “now where is my colostomy bag?”

Just some humor to see if you’re still reading..

Ok that’s probably a good stopping point

Later gators.