I talk about downloads on here quite a bit. If you read my journaling then you know I enjoy a good metaphor. It helps me understand and explain what goes around in my head.

Downloads for me are spikes in my intuition that don’t go away or they integrate into my life gradually as a new naturally formed habit or interest.

Example: after what I refer to as my little awakening my mind went head first into

Vibrations

Resonance

Carl Jung

Hermetics

Gnostics

Symbols

Esotericism

The kybalion

Rumi poetry

Literally in less than a week.

This was a big one. The biggest one. My brain at the time didn’t have the right amount of storage for this download and I spent six months trying to find a “cloud” to put some of this info aside for later. I was a hot mess. It’s a fun ride but I’m glad it leveled out. It was affecting my work and mental health. I needed a thousand answers to a thousand questions and I wanted them immediately.

The brain, doing what it does best, filtered it into smaller compartments until I’m ready to take to refocus.

“Chad you done lost your damn mind.”

I know right?

This big download changed my horizon for life.

And I’m ok with that.

Other downloads I’ve received over the last year or two are more intimate or little bullet points of behavior and or habits that just drop from me. I’ll wake up one morning and my brain will relay to me that “we are no longer doing this” and I’ll just be like.. ok big guy whatever you say.

Or little downloads of awareness of loops and behavioral patterns. These can be annoying for me because I get caught up and become hyper aware of these repetitive behaviors which causes me to try not to overthink which in return causes me to overthink.

It’s a vicious cycle.

I get some in the mountains when I’m driving back from a not so fun camping trip. It’s not all rainbows and sunshine I do get some frustrating events that keep me on edge.

It happens.

But

On some drives home I can sense the download of the experience. I can literally feel the “growth” from that experience. A moment of gratitude and clarity in the storm. The ability to recognize this was/is also a download.

Downloads for new downloads

I’ll get enlightened downloads that come out of nowhere that I really appreciate. Driving home from work after a complete shit day one day recently my mind whispered “when you go home after a bad day you take it home with you and release it to the ones you love”

I drove home slower that day. I sat in my truck for a moment and let that sink in.

It’s changed my drive home ever since. It also makes me take a deep breath before I walk into my home. I’m not holding in my emotions. I’m recognizing and observing them as to what they are. It’s negative energy that I allow to flow out of my window on the way home.

Acknowledging it

Making peace with it

Continue on home

My downloads will encourage to seek out information on new content. Just recently I got slapped in the head with “what do you about Sanskrit? Not that much? Grab a pen and a seat”

Me -“wha?”

“Yeah and chakras too. Sure you’ve been reading a little on it but now we are gonna buckle down”

Me – “but the new House of Dragons is on..”

“No dragons tonight Chad we are singing Chakra Khan this week”

That was bad.

Not sorry though

My chakras study began this morning at 4:30. Sometimes downloads don’t care about caffeine.

Some downloads require shedding some memory storage for a new upgrade. Currently what I’m going through now. This one was a big fat one too. Not as big as the one on my little island or maybe so but now I’m accustomed.

Aware

“Chad you done lost your damn mind”

Indeed and thank goodness.

I’ve got my headphones on hemi-sync

This one poked me in the ribs and said some not so nice things about me.

To me

Not in a critical way. It wasn’t a trail marker they don’t poke.

We had a long talk. It was a good one. I’ve been absorbing since. Yesterday I randomly deleted about 100 plus songs off my phone. I wrote recently that my music tastes have gone wonky. Take that as you like. I’m shedding parts of me that were attached to those songs if that makes sense, it does to me. New “old” songs are coming into my life playlist.

Downloaded attachments

I don’t go into details about my downloads until they are completed. Some start and go away they don’t fit. This one is making me make room for it.

It’s get uncomfortable. I told my wife (who knows immediately when I’m going through one even though I don’t tell her sometimes) “I feel like I’m sitting two inches outside of myself”

Maybe observing the change

Or

Like I’m trying to color in the lines of myself but I keep messing up.

I’m Mid download because it’s a big one. I’ve got a big trip coming up that’s going to test the living shit out of me. I’ve been planning it for over a year. My mind told me when I should do it (another download). Maybe it will reveal some parts unknown.

Integration

It’s not a bad thing. I’m just very

Very

Uncomfortable.

Maybe I have lost my damn mind.

Maybe I’m supposed to.