I miss reading the newspaper. Sunday newspapers were my favorite. Big, thick and full of juicy news and stories. I never had a newspaper subscription but when I was the GM of the steakhouse I worked for 16 years, we had the Greenville News delivered to us daily. I’d walk out front of the building right after I turned off the alarm to grab the morning paper. I’d turn on the coffee machine and brew my first morning coffee while I counted the bar till to $300 and walk the previous evening’s cash deposit to the bank. This was the late ‘90s people paid with cash much more often than they do now. I was scheduled to work at 9 but I’d get there half an hour early to give me time to enjoy a cup of coffee and read the news. During this era of my life my morning pre work routine was abbreviated. I’d wake up 40 minutes before work. Shower, shave and eat a bowl of cereal while standing next to my kitchen sink. Sleeping in was imperative at that time. I still had alcohol in my veins from the night before. There was no scrolling, no emails to answer from my phone my desktop at work housed all those conversations. I didn’t watch the news on tv, I still don’t.

I’d unroll the newspaper and sit at one of the deuces by the bar. I’d have my double brewed coffee, thicker than molasses, sitting next to the paper, two empty sugar packets with the stirring spoon holding them down as to not stain the table. Ashtray filled with my first Marlboro light of the morning, open book of matches I never used lighters.

Front page was never my first choice unless some crazy shit happened the day before and I wanted to catch up. It wasn’t like it is today. Big news might’ve been every two weeks or so now it’s a partly cloudy with a chance of apocalypse every morning. Sports page was my go to. I’d carefully unfold the newspaper and separate the sections. Baseball season was my favorite time to read the paper. I was a stat junkie for years I could recite every Braves starting lineup along with their stats before every game. I knew Maddux’s era better than he did. I knew Chipper would have a better game that night because he was facing a right handed pitcher. I’d moan along with McGriff when he’d go into a slump. College football too. I’d pour over the stats of my favorite players on Sunday mornings. Sports section seemed much lighter when football and baseball seasons were over. The front page was always the last part I’d read. Comics, of course, were a fav of mine. Bloom County will always be the best one for me with Calvin and Hobbs being a close second. Peanuts for nostalgia sake. BC, Zits and Herman. I still haven’t laughed at a Doonesbury strip.

Crosswords were done in ink I was cocky. Jumbles next and crytptoquotes if I wasn’t too hungover. Two cigarettes while I filled in all the game blanks. Starched shirt hanging in the office so I wouldn’t smell like cigarette smoke before smelling like hickory smoke for the entire shift. I’d scan over the obits for familiar names. This is how we used to find out one of our old acquaintances died. Morbid but it was a part of life. I even read the classifieds on Sundays and clipped some sales ads that I’d never use.

My early days at the Hyatt I worked the 5am shift, my job was to deliver the USA Today to all of the Hyatt VIP members. Sometimes I’d have a stack of hundred plus, holidays I may only have five. By the end of my short career there I could toss the papers under the doors without slowing down. It was the USA Today that I’d drive down from my campsite in the Rockies to pick up to see what was going on in the world of Chad. I had no cellphone or TV. I spent a month up there without a clue of what else was going on in the world. It changed my entire life. It’s the life I’m chasing again.

When we had newspapers the news felt more stable. Our sources were reputable, journalists had more credibility and heart. Now I no longer know what or who to believe so I have to make my own judgements.

Buying the Sunday newspaper on my way to Sunday morning breakfast will always be a peaceful memory. I used to keep a few on important days. I still have one from a photographer that took a candid shot of me and my daughter standing over my stepfather’s grave on Memorial Day. One of my favorite photos ever.

Newspaper got me fired from the Hyatt. My arrest was in the paper when I received my DUI. One of the execs caught it and turned me into HR. I was head of transportation. They didn’t want the public black eye. I don’t blame the newspaper though.

Great for packing dishes, swatting flies or hitting an employee over the head. Or so I’ve heard.

The news was just different then. Now? Everyday is breaking news. I think it’s time for some fixing news. I don’t do the news anymore I’m surrounded by it from everyone else’s opinion, agenda, outtake and rage. It’s like a mob of angry people orating the world news. Bring me back the days of the consolidation of information. World is too big for me to made aware of all its problems.

Too much static.

Peace ☮️