This may be a long one then again I might be able to shore it up quickly.

Today marks 4 years without a hangover, blackout, being drunk, vodka, Jameson, fireball, tequila etc.

My mouth has not touched a vodka and cranberry since 2021.

I haven’t woken up with regrettable thoughts

Headaches

Dehydrated

Confused

Depressed

4 years

The first year I was on a thin walking wire with blinders on.

Second year it got a little easier for me and man telling myself in 2023 that I made it the whole year was quite a boast for me. It energized me to stay the course. After two years I had to use a calculator to add up the days of my feat.

The third year I knew as long as I stayed on my feet, committed that my third year would be a breeze.

And it was

Year four was almost an afterthought. I can say this because I my thoughts no longer struggle with alcohol.

My last hangover would be 4 years ago today. It was a doozy and I made it one on purpose because something inside of me told me it would be for the last time so you better “enjoy” it while you can.

4 years

48 months

1460 days

Hell I haven’t even tried cranberry juice by itself. Doubt I will.

There’s liquor in my house. I’m fine with it. The only time I’ll touch the bottle is if I’m cleaning off the top of the place where it sits. I made peace with it. Actually I’ve made peace with a lot of things over the last 4 years.

Myself being the most important.

No more mental wars. No more self destruction. Man I was a master with that one. There were two sides of me fighting with each other. The raging maniac who wanted to conquer the world and the other guy who only wanted to be still. To do the right thing.

4 years, the still one walked out of the rubble of my mind alone.

Fierce

Strong

Wise

Healed

The conquerer slowly faded with my clout hungry ego. He conquered alright. He consumed me for most of my adult life.

He’s gone. We withered away with my addictions.

I don’t think I’m healing anymore. I’m growing. You never stop growing when you take the ceiling away. I’m not sure when I went from healing to augmenting. Hell it could be right now when i acknowledge it. Maybe 2026 is focusing on extending.

No more healing

No more reckoning I (he) ended that 6 months ago. I stayed latched to that for a bit. Like a pacifier to keep me from stepping out of my comfort zone. The still guy bested that reckoning. I owe it all to him.

I’m grounded for the first time in my life.

Level

I’ve changed over the last 4 years.

Evolved

Alcohol was my comfort zone for all my adult life. It was the only way I could socialize. I still struggle with socializing not because I need alcohol but because you do. Every function seems to revolve around alcohol.

But

Every year it seems to be declining. People are beginning to wake up.

4 years

During this period I’ve made advances in my mind, body and soul. I didn’t make a list of things I would fix after I stopped drinking. I simply stopped drinking and a bridge in my mind opened up. Alcohol puts a governor on your brain.

I say this with complete certainty and confidence.

You cannot achieve your best self while clinging to alcohol. You may think you have it under control but even the thought itself suggests otherwise.

The bridge, it didn’t open overnight, shine a beacon of light over a span.

It’s gradual. It’s one step forward without a calendar. It’s a download of resistance and faith. Faith in yourself.

Devotion to yourself.

All alcohol is its liquid distraction from clarity.

Harmony

I no longer hate myself in fact I love being friends with this guy, He’s teaching me something new everyday. I have thoughts that come from him I’ve never experienced before.

Patience

Reserve

Humility in the humblest and kindest of ways

I’ve changed y’all and I feel like it’s only just beginning.

Tune in to yourself. Your mind is an antenna. Nature is your WiFi network. Literally put your feet in the grass and smile at the sun.

Somedays when I’m camping I literally feel like I’m floating.

Alcohol blocks your path

It impairs your body

It slows your mind

It governs your life

You may miss out on a lot of parties but you regain your sovereignty. Sovereignty is the key. When you’re in control life begins to flow.

I observe quite a few of you out there that struggle. I want to shake you and hold your head, look you in the eye and say

You can stop

All you have to do is get through the first day of it. Every morning is the first day. When you’re training for that marathon you don’t walk out of your house with your running shoes on thinking

I have to run 26.2188 miles soon

You’ve already turned yourself off from it.

I never once woke up for the first few months thinking “I’m never drinking again”

Everyday my conversation with myself was “I’m not drinking today”

Tomorrow doesn’t matter only the present does.

You do this every single day until you no longer have to.

You remove or avoid your triggers

I took myself out of the bars. When you stop your drinking friends will release you from their grips. They’ll fade away.

Your circle doesn’t shrink it tightens.

My advice? Journal your thoughts, accomplishments. Meditate. It changed my life. This isn’t me trying to be an influencer. I’m trying to encourage you to save your life. I’ve lost more friends and family to drugs and alcohol than I have to cancer and illness. I’ve got a few more on their way out because of it.

I’m not preaching just bringing awareness.

Alcohol consumption will poison you. Change your chemistry. Limit your growth.

Once it’s gone your life goes 8k, Dolby surround sound folks.

I’m not selling books.

I walked up to my bathroom mirror this morning. I don’t say “I’m not drinking today” anymore. It’s no longer necessary. I looked in it and said “four years my friend” and man I started crying. It was an amazing release.

That’s something else putting the bottle down will do to you. Your emotions will be pulled from you. All the unreleased trauma comes spilling out.

Let it all go man. Woman.

It’s January 1, 2026. I personally think this year will be amazing. One for the books. I’ve committed to some new challenges and changes this year. I feel it will define my future a little more. I’m changing my past, present and the future will follow suit as intended.

Stillness is my friend.

4 years.

Done.