Sometimes I’ll stare down at my phone for a few seconds when I open my WordPress app and try to conjure up some subject matter for me to write. I try to move around when I write and spark new ideas or thoughts. Half the time when I do this my post ends up in the draft department for eternity. I keep them around for that just in case moment. Sort of like the coffee spoon that sits on the corner of the kitchen sink for the sake of not getting your sugar measurements right the first cup.

*takes sip

“Perfect”

*still leaves spoon dangling

I think we are on week three of our move and this would be the first morning it’s felt like a home.

This is my first cup of I’m home coffee.

It’s my weekend. I’ve been working on losing the weekend mentality. In my work career I’ve never had a consistent work schedule. Not for the lack of trying as a restaurant owner and previously a restaurant GM days off were a crap shoot. Or one of your days off become a meeting day so instead of dissociating with work I’d spend 4 hours discussing P&Ls and staffing issues. Back in 2017 after a partnership shakeup I worked 200 plus days without a day off. I didn’t even realize it until after I spent half the day at home I started to get anxious.

I used to think being a workaholic was a flex. I watch some of my friends who still think this way and I hope you find your peace.

I’m in the halfway point of my work lease. My work week has been the most consistent at this point in my career. I close the deli Sunday and Monday unless I have a special order or a large catering. I have a numerical amount in my head that gets me to come into work. Christmas time it gets thrown out the window. Days off are spent planning for the week. It’s a given I don’t dwell on it.

Now I’m in that weekend mode. Thursday is my hump day, Friday is that “tomorrow is my weekend! and then Saturday I’m watching the clock for 5pm. In my head I’m making weekend plans, creating adventures and todo lists. Sunday morning I wake up with a smile and a “I ain’t got shit to do” vibe.

Monday all I think about is that I have to go back to work again tomorrow.

So this is the American dream I’ve been missing this whole time?

On full day of glee

I always get a kick out of the “no one wants to work anymore!” exclamations I see online.

Guess what George? I don’t either.

You just need better balance Chad. Sure thing. Find me a job where I can work 3.5 days a week. That’s balance.

I’m letting off steam folks. Take that chill pill. I enjoy creating. I enjoy making people smile with my work. Stop raising the prices on everything is all. Let people enjoy the fruits of their labor.

Let people live.

I play with numbers in my head.

“If I can sell my deli for this much, take our teeny tiny savings account and sell a lot of my hobby shit I could buy some acreage at “x” build a very small home and farm for three.”

I’m literally one more eye roll away from disconnecting from this, buying a flip phone and shrinking my world down like a shrinky dink. Drive to a cafe to link up to internet, post a blog and go back to my goats, chickens and alpacas.

Greenhouse attached to my little home. Morning coffee facing east, bare feet facing west at night.

Oh yeah

Maybe move out of the country. We no longer own this one anyway.

Peace of Mind by Tyler Childers is in my ears right now.

Music is always a great pairing with your thoughts. Your soul creates a playlist for you when you’re tuned in. That’s all I’m trying to do these days.

Tune in while tuning out.

“Days are dark down in the holler

Waiting for the sun to shine

On the back you have been breaking

Tryin to earn peace of mind”

Tyler throwing it in my face.

My weekend itinerary? I’ve made no plans. I may read I’m about 20 books behind this year. My reading has slipped lately but my writing has increased so my mental seesaw is level. I may reread Lonesome Dove again to bring Augustus back to life for a bit.

I’m taking a day off from current times today. No Internet, no scrolling. It’s also why I’m not talking about anything relevant today. My brain is also on its weekend.

I may take a jaunt up to Asheville. Smell some patchouli and eat a grass fed burger.

Chloe Dancer/ Crown of Thorns by Mother Love Bone is playing. No life reference here I just love this song.

“You ever heard the story of Mr. Faded Glory?
Say he who rides a pony must someday fall
Talkin’ to my altar, say, “Life is what you make it
And if you make it death, well, rest your soul away”

Peace ☮️