I suffer from speed. No I don’t take amphetamines I barely know how to spell them. Sure I drink a cup or two more coffee than most but I rarely consume caffeine after 9am unless I’m driving long distance and that’s a terrible combination to be honest.

I’ve harped on here dozens of times about my struggle to slooooooow down.

Walk slower

Drive slower

Work slower

Pace slower

Sleep slower (I know that sounds ridiculous it’s my post I can say shit like this)

Write slower. I’m always trying to complete this task in one sitting. This will not be one of those. I have 40 minutes this morning

Life slower. I guess it all comes down to this. I’m not trying to slow down time I’m only wanting to observe it more.

I know when I’m rushing around. My jaw is clenched, my breathing is quick and shallow, I sigh a lot. I’ve gotten very aware of my sighs lately. I could blow a ship with masts across the ocean with them. Sighing isn’t bad, you’re trying to regulate your breathing which regulates your nervous system. My nervous system has been my new project in the last year.

I refer to my nervous system as my human transmission. My mind/brain is the engine. It’s the torque that produces emotions, decisions and impulses. My eyes are the windshield, my ears help with balancing my breath is the regulator.

Also I don’t know shit about cars.

Your nervous system/transmission decides how much torque/force gets delivered. How quickly it’s delivered, when to speed up, coast, pause or park.

Regulates your reaction speed, stress response, sensory integration and muscle activation.

With intention and action it becomes the mediator.

Shifting into park is your sleep mode, deep shutdown

Neutral is meditation, dissociation or observation. This is my still mode. No music, no tv or phone. I like being in neutral first thing in the morning after I’ve been in park all night. Engine is idling, body is humming.

You put yourself in drive and you’re moving in forward motion, guided speed, efficient and stable. You’re in your tolerance zone. You’re cruising to the speed limit, singing along to the radio, traffic is going your way. Parasympathetic AF.

How you accelerate describes how you operate within your fight or flight environment.

If you’re stressed your speed is going to increase and decrease constantly. You aren’t idling at 2000 rpm, you may be going to from start to stop repeatedly, you’ve got one foot on the brake and one on the gas. Sometimes you’re in gridlock but you find yourself revving in neutral. Highways if you don’t maintain a high level of rpms cars will zoom by you, tailgate you, blow their horns at you all while you’re trying to maintain safe speeds. You’re accelerating to keep up with everyone else on the road. Sometimes you’re pulling more weight behind you causing strain on your transmission. On those uphill grinds your rpm’s shoot up to almost 6000 just to get over the hill.

I’m not a car guy but I know what the parts do. Sorta

I got rid of my camping trailer because of the stress it was putting on my transmission on roadtrips. I loved that trailer.

But

My truck’s transmission is more important.

Same goes for a lot of my lifestyle choices. My nervous system is also important. For years I went from park to overdrive. 30 years plus. Accelerating rapidly and slamming on the brakes angrily when others were in my way. I’m always in a hurry to get nowhere. The taller the hill the more gas I gave it. Even downhills, my foot was on the gas there was no coasting in my vibe.

Automatic

The past year I’ve changed my car/attitude. I went to manual. I shift my gears methodically. I like how first gear allows me to stay at one speed until I choose to shift up. If I’m going to fast I can downshift, slow and deliberate.

If I’m sitting still I can pop it in neutral. Let my motor idle within its capacity. Granny gear for those slow mornings when I want to see what’s around me while I acclimate. My first jeep had one. You’d just let the clutch out and let the gear move you forward. No acceleration it wouldn’t allow you to go over 6mph in that gear. Thats the first hour of my morning now. It’s also my gear when I get home from work. I use my overdrive only for high volume days. If I’m off work I don’t get on the highway. I coast on the backroads after everyone is at work. I barely get her out of third gear. Windows are down, tunes are playing Don’t Stop Believing through my speakers.

“Her” being my fascia.

My nervous system. My central transmission system..

I only rev when I have to. When it’s completely necessary.

Im pursuing cruise control at all times. Im on my own highway.

This is my constant focus at the moment. Slowing down. When I slow down I heal, I reflect and rest.

My focus skyrockets

I’m not distracted or stressed.

I like cruise control. And it likes me.

If there’s one grief I have with my business it’s that it puts stress on my transmission. If I’m grinding gears it’s at work. I’m not grinding them in the mountains. Work is my other trailer I pull. I’ve been towing it behind me for far too long.

A crotchety caboose of sorts.

A change of life is always on my mind.

Scooter Blues by Johnny Blue Skies is playing in my ears. I love when my music pairs with my writing. There are no coincidences.

“With the wind in my hair I’m gonna scooter my blues away”

I’m not trying to retire. I’m not TRYING to do anything. I’m aligning with my speed is all.

“Think I’ll move to an island and turn into vapor”- same song

Still vibing

I’m in granny gear at the moment. My feet are crossed on my sofa. My cat is close enough to absorb its purr. Coffee needs refreshing but I’m in no hurry. I’ve got a solid stream of charcuterie today to keep me busy but I can still maintain cruise control. My home is almost settled which makes me idle happily.

Peace and elbow grease.