Slept in today. Did the same yesterday. I woke up at my regular time but when I maintain consistent horizontal levels I can usually get another hour of sleep. Yesterday was a quiet one. I watched two movies while under a blanket that I bought for camping two months ago that still hasn’t seen an outdoor setting and probably wont for another month. I sold my RTT and truck topper a lot faster than I intended to so my truck is naked until March when my new camper (hopefully) arrives. Both components sold by two weeks. Hey marketplace folks, things sell much easier when you respond to messages.

Just an FYI

We are moving in 5 days. This old home no longer feels like home it’s a labyrinth of packing boxes and displaced furniture. By the end of today we will most likely be reduced to one fork and knife per household unit until we’ve been relocated.

The queueist of queues

The coffee maker will be the last thing packed up.

I normally go outside for a moment with my feet in the grass to wake myself up but I’m going to sit this one out. A broken hip at 7am just doesn’t resonate with me right now.

Snow days are good for reflection. I did go for a couple of walks, one of them to the local HT to grab a few snacks and such. I walked around the neighborhood with a bag of sun chips snacking as my feet crunched the snow. Headphones on in my own little world. Occasionally I’d get an icicle to kamikaze off of a tree branch and slide down my back to bring me back home.

I took up to two naps although one happened along as I was meditating.

I’m rested

I’m calm

This whole month has been underwhelming in life and I’m riding the wave as intended. The last two were completely the opposite. Little aches and pains that I accept as my daily fate have receded into numbness for now. Rest was needed. As stubborn as I am to maintain perpetual motion everyday I’ve learned that rest is still vital to healthy self. The world is no longer mine to take over. I left that baton in the ditch.

This is usually my meditative time of morning. I do my stretch routine, drink a pint of warm water, respond to messages and then sit in my zone for 20 minutes. Meditation time.

I get some sideways glances when I talk about meditation. A lot of people think it’s new age, hippie, mystical and even foreign. I used to. The first time I attempted it years ago I went full Sukhasana with my legs crossed over and immediately got cramps. Took 20 years off and tried it again.

Listen

Yoga doesn’t have to be you covered in linen garb, legs crossed, fingers formed in dual ok 👌🏼 signs, cross legged on a rug made from your ancestors. I do yoga on my sofa. Relaxed and comfortable. You don’t have to light a candle or burn sage. You just have to be still with yourself.

It takes time. You gotta breathe first.

There are several different breathing exercises you can do I’m more of a box breather sort of the same the Seals (navy) do it. I breathe in for 4, hold for 6, exhale for 6 and hold for 4 more. Repeat as long as you want. It takes a little time to get a cadence down. It’s all about rhythm. The first few times I jolt myself up because my lungs weren’t getting enough oxygen.

You’re just sitting still, no distractions, no moving around. Headphones really help. I use an eye cover too. 20 minutes minimum.

A lot of people try it and get frustrated. Too many of you expect some sort of accession from meditation. Prana lighting up your body. Astral projection, seeing lights dancing around or shapes like you’re on DMT. Yes there are some breathing techniques that can release your DMT. I’m not the one here to tell you how. I’m aware of the practice it’s just not something I’m trying to achieve at the moment. It’s not that I don’t want to I’m just not ready to.

Don’t think of meditation as a gateway into another world or reality. It may be for some you can definitely go off the charts a little bit with it depending on where your brainwaves are. I went into a blog awhile back about brainwave levels, not sure I posted it or not I’ll have to look back on it. One year ago I wouldn’t have been able to explain a single thing wave to anyone. Life is wild y’all.

Meditation can’t be forced. You have to be in the mood and by that I mean you have to set the stage. You have to be relaxed, you need to be still. It should be relatively quiet for focus.

I put my headphones on and I’ll insert specific playlists I’ve curated for the mood. Sometimes it’s music I enjoy other times it’s hertz levels. Or spa music. For a few minutes I’ll shake my mind free from daily thoughts while I slow my breathing down and once my lungs have relaxed I start my box breathing. I count at first to get the rhythm down but after a few minutes I’m in my own little breathing pattern. It took a month or so to get here. I don’t time how long I do it I sort of go with the flow. Probably three breaths a minute once I’m locked in. All I’m doing is slowing down my own little world.

Shrinking it and slowing it.

I’m not trying to stop myself from thinking. You can’t yourself from thinking it’s like trying to stop your heartbeat. You can regulate your heartbeat with enough concentration and your mind. That’s all I’m doing is regulating my mind. And my nervous system.

I’m not trying to erase my thoughts. I’m studying them.

I’m listening.

Your mind is moving around a thousand different directions I’m only trying to get mine to go down one straight line for a bit. No zigzagging.

Focusing

It takes a while. Think of your mind as an antenna for cosmic WiFi. You get better reception in some places than others. Nature you get less distortion. I’ll sit in my zone and visualize a WiFi network scanning for reception. I’ll see the little WiFi symbol moving from the dot up to the last rung seeking out my cosmic receiver. Whatever is on my mind I don’t try to fight it. I acknowledge it and keep seeking. It’s like you’re looking for a specific face in the crowd. You’ll bump into others and have small conversations with them until you’ve found the one you want to talk to. I’m referring to thoughts not actual beings we aren’t talking about DMT anymore.

Meditation is like anything else. You have to practice. The more you do it the more it makes sense as to why you should. Meditation connects the dots in your mind. If your brain is a jigsaw puzzle meditation helps you put it together.

It’s a problem solver. You’d be surprised at how easy you can relate to things when you slow your thinking down.

You react less to your emotions. You’ve spent time in your zone to break down triggers and behavioral loops.

You can address old trauma. You become your own therapist in your mind. No one knows you better than you. Your mind is connected to your soul’s WiFi. All you’re doing is creating less distortion and noise.

It takes time. Patience. Once you get into the rhythm you’ll know. Sometimes you’ll be able to see a distant field of light if you do it enough. That’s a whole ‘nother thing to discuss and this isn’t the time. There’s a lot out there to see.

I’ve kicked most of my depression to the curb. By addressing little jolts of thoughts that try to render my mind. I can’t stop thoughts from coming. I can acknowledge them now and tell them to bugger off if they arrive. As long as I’m not distracted.

When you meditate it’s not as much as a “what do I want to think” about it’s more of a “why am I thinking about this?” You see it, you feel it, you hear it.

You reckon with it. It’s a dusty thought on your shelf that you pass every time you get up to grab something out of the kitchen. You’re aware of it but it’s been there for so long that you don’t even look at it anymore. Filled with old dust and dander, it just sits on your shelf taking up space. Meditation brings you to that dusty thought and asks “what do we want to do with this?”

Do we dust it or do we throw it away?

Toss it hombre

After a while you’ve got a clean shelf on your walk to the bathroom. You no longer walk by it like it doesn’t exist in fact as your walking by you smile at it because it’s cleaned up, organized and you’re like “fuck yeah I did that”

The more shelves you dust off the more you smile as you walk by.

It’s that simple.

I could be very overwhelmed right now with my house in a boxed up mess but I’m fine.

My shelves are cleared and dust free.

As long as I maintain them that way.

I’m going to finish my coffee soon and relax. My deli is closed due to the weather. You win some you lose some

Ebb and flow

My shelves are empty.