I’m nearing the end of my annual holiday work cocoon. The 6 weeks of high food geometry. Meat and cheese arts and crafts. I allocated 45 minutes to write to keep my eyes from scrolling media. I’ve got a new Avett Bro album playing in my headphone background and it’s a decent one. I used to fanboy over the Avetts but I’ve been so far removed from that person that their music sounds completely different to me now. I’m pleased with this album.

It pings. It’s been about a decade since the last one did.

I’ve 30 boxes on a closed Monday today along with a small grazing table for a local jeweler. I took yesterday off to give me a chance to breathe before the last three days and then it’s Christmas. I’ll have New Year’s Eve to contend with I always cut it shorter than the rest of the holiday orders. I’m pretty much done after the holidays for a bit. I get real close to burn out this time of year I’ve done a much better job at pacing and planning this year.

But

It’s still an ass rearranger. Not sure if that’s a word or not. It is today.

This month was/is a doozy. I don’t keep my work numbers close to me anymore. As a part time business consultant I’d fire me for that.

I brace myself for the next Chad that comes out the other side after this. I’ve picked up on some of the daily fodder that rebuilds my mental state after the holidays. I’m much more aware of the convos I have with myself when Im face down in cardboard boxes for 70 hours a week.

My routines get thrown out of the window

My patterns get disrupted

My loops get severed

It’s a cleanse of daily habits

A trimming of droning rituals

It’s a little bit of trying to control fight or flight while operating a business.

It’s growth

It’s maintaining control when chaos tries to kick in your door.

I haven’t mastered it

But

I’ve gotten better

Nature is calling boy is she screaming my name.

I’ve mentioned several times how this 6 weeks of work cleanses me. I’ve accepted my responsibility and fate during this time of year. I listen to my thoughts when I’m knee deep into my work. My mind wanders when I work it’s seeking dopamine to keep me entertained. Thousands of adventures and ideas. It’s like a dam that bursts after the new year.

Deli will be adding a lot of new ideas after the new year. I no longer seek identity with the deli. I use it as a canvas for new ideas. If I had a full scale kitchen I’d have changed my concept 5 times by now. I used to share all my ideas but now I like to say “fuck it” and “surprise!”

Has nothing to do with the deli’s success I just like moving shit around. It’s who I am and I’ve learned to embrace it.

I like using the new year as a reset. I used it to start my breakup with the bottle and it’s worked out well. I’ve compiled a rather lengthy list of new ideas and challenges of changes for the next one coming up. I plan to stick with these with the same resolve I did with vodka. I’m hardheaded if anything,

I can already feel the changes coming in my soul. Navigation is easier than it used to be.

Recognizing is easy. Accepting is the hard part.

Listen to your soul. It talks to you everyday. Early morning especially before the distractions kick in.

Awake my soul by Mumford and Sons is currently playing in my ears. As I’ve said a 100 times there’s no such thing as coincidence. Music speaks to you when you aren’t distracted.

Once you get into that flow your life changes forever.

“You have to slow things down”

5 years ago when I parted ways with my old company I wrote that down in an empty notebook until it filled up the entire page. I had no idea at the time why I wrote it. I was sitting on my back bedroom floor of our old home crying scribbling away. Closed the notebook and never looked at it again.

Mentally I never closed that book.

I was just planting a seed in my head that would take years to bloom. Your soul leaves breadcrumbs for you all the time to help you remember. You just have to remove the distractions.

My goal for 2026 is to do just that. The cocoon phase is already ending.

I’m at peace this year. Kept my head up the whole time. Perception is the key. I remember two years ago around this time writing “I got one more year of this left in me”

I think I managed to fix that guy for now. Until it’s time to move on.

Time to go to work. Another season is coming to an end.