It’s Sunday morning. My weekend. I normally have a Sunday morning routine I observe although it’s not intentionally a ritualistic process but over time like most things I do it has become one.

Wake up and immediately shower

Stretch my joints with a little yoga

Make my cup of coffee

Sit in my sofa spot, put my headphones on and pick a hertz to vibe to.

Check all the medias and plan out my day

Everyday of the week is similar to this routine the only thing that makes Sunday different is I have no watch to watch. I don’t concern myself with deadlines it’s my first day off and it’s meant to reset. Today I chose to reset my reset differently. I’m going through a rewiring phase.

I’m changing the way I think and react to things.

My approach to daily living.

A fresh new coat of paint for my personality

I stood outside bare foot and stretched under the stars, no music, no coffee. Allowed the cold grass to wake me up. Grounding, star gazing. Three or four minutes of simple tai chi to warm up my body. Went back inside took my shower, brushed my teeth, dressed and put my headphones on. Picked out an album I’ve never listened to and sat on my sofa for about 30 minutes. No phone, no meditation although this could be considered a form of it.

I just sat still. I only listened with no itinerary on my mind.

Im a student of this rewiring process. Your rituals, patterns, routines harness your thoughts. Simple terms if you repeat the same process every single day your mind becomes an echo chamber of the same thoughts, emotions and feelings. If you’re happy and flowing like a happy little duck in a stream then good for you. If you’re struggling then this is a good way to begin a reset with your patterns. I’m not a fan of prescriptions or pills to fix me. I realize there are some that it’s necessary for but at the same time I wonder how much effort was involved.

Around 20 years ago I tried to insert myself into the padded room lifestyle and was met with a catalog of pill suggestions. I gave it a shot and quickly realized they weren’t for me. The drugs subdue my mental anguish. They did the opposite.

If I need to cry I should be able to

If I’m angry I should let out a scream of rage. Suppressed emotions from an alien source in my body didn’t resonate with me. I walked away from prescriptions. All of them honestly even when I had my ankle operated on I skipped the pain meds they gave me.

I’ve been up for roughly two hours and I already feel off kilter but in a good way. I’m off balance, a tad out of my comfort zone and my brain is trying to catch up.

“Hey what’s going on Chad? You’ve changed your patterns. I can’t keep you safe while you’re doing this”

Exactly

Let me take the wheel for a bit *turns off navigation and pulls onto a random county road.

Hey man, we may get lost for a bit but we also get to see a new perspective. Change the station and roll the windows down I don’t care how cold it is outside.

We are currently on the county road today and will maintain course for the morning.

I should already be well into my walk but I’m relaxing on my sofa listening to Del the Funky Homosapien. One of his albums I’ve never listened to.

I’m about to order some cacao for my new morning beverage. That will really shake up my morning routine. The proper way to create a good hot cup of real cacao is deliberate preparation and takes a little time. I think one of my favorite things about making coffee at camp is also the process. The boiling of the water outdoors over a small stove or fire, pour over. Steam coming from your cup as you mix your accoutrements. It’s not any different than say making your own shop or pouring it out of a can. You taste and appreciate the process. You made it. It’s yours.

Creativity promotes rewiring.

Shaking up your daily steps

Changing your route to work

If you have a specific routine when you walk into work change it up. I’ve always been a creature of habit because it’s safe. If you’re keeping yourself safe in a world you aren’t happy in then it’s time to break the safety chains.

Some of my best hikes were spots I had no intention of hiking. They weren’t on my “schedule” or itinerary” this is why I throw the life’s playbook away when I go on my long road trips. It can be stressful. It doesn’t always work out the way I want it to but I still to get experience things I’ve never tried before. I purposely camp in spots that give me a little more awareness to my surroundings. Places I have to check my perimeter to make sure I’m safe, sealing up food so a 600lb grizzly doesn’t treat me like a lollipop, my head on a swivel because I found mountain lion tracks next to my fire pit.

This isn’t routine. My brain moves to a higher awareness. Is it an ideal rewiring? I think so I don’t see it as a fight or flight situation I’m not sitting in fear I’m hyper aware of the sounds and smells around my campsite. I sit with my back to my truck, fire in front of me and I’m more relaxed than a baby in its mother’s arms. I’m just more aware. And I have a large caliber gun sitting within arms reach.

My long trips always rewire my system. It’s literally why I go. The hard part is sustaining the new hardwiring when I come back. I have the tendency to go right back into my “real” world. I go home and sit in the same spot on the sofa, make the same brand of coffee to sip and look at the same three bullshit social medias. I’ll drive to work on my congested route, listen to the same type of music or podcast and unlock my deli and proceed to have the same half dozen convos with my coworker. I’ll bitch about the same things while I work and go home to share them with my wife on the same spot on my sofa, eat dinner and go back to the same three medias again.

I’ll find myself in a rut that I have complete control over and yet I’ll carry on like it’s apart of life and there’s nothing I can do about it.

It’s just easier that way.

I read a book of poetry written by Rumi a 13th century Persian poet earlier this year. I had typed in my phone notes one of his quotes “Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?”

I don’t recall ever typing this out. It doesn’t mean I didn’t my mind tends to go all over the place but it looked as if I had typed it out and discarded the thought. For a week I was getting little notification prompts on my phone screen. I kept seeing one of my notes popping up “why do you…?” but I rarely pay attention to the little banners or notifications when I’m working plus I wear my glasses full time now and it’s difficult to read with them on. I’m the opposite of everyone else my age I suppose. I have to take my glasses off to read. After about a week my mind finally pinged on this note that kept popping up on my phone

“Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?”

Like I said I don’t recall writing out that message on my phone but my phone decided it was time for me to see it. The meaning is subjective and can be taken to mean many different things but I got what I needed from it. I stared hard at it for a few seconds with a quiet little “wtf” in my head. Why would’ve I typed this and nothing else? When did I do this and why the fuck is it showing itself out of nowhere now?

Trail marker from my soul. The one that started talking to me in February.

I created the cage I’m in. I didn’t just create it I curated it. Through my life experiences, trauma, fears, hesitations, and perceptions. I built it. The door is wide open there are no keys I’m just afraid to step out of it. Watching the same show on my tv because I know how it’s going to end. No surprises to take me out of my comfort zone.

The last few months I’ve been going through a rewiring process to allow me to step out of my cage into the darkness. No gun, no campfire or headlamp to find my way.

I guess what I’m trying to prove to myself is if life ain’t grand then change the channel. Change your music, your tone, your routines, thoughts, patterns and step out of your doorless prison.

Im now currently listening to a new album by a band I’ve never heard of this morning. I’m going to read a little from an author I’ve never read before. On a different spot on my sofa and maybe even eat a new dish for breakfast before I try a new routine today.

Leaving my prison.