This week has been on man. It’s been a challenging one. I’m not a “I’m being tested” kind of person but if I was I’d like to turn in my quiz now.

Life ebb and flows and mine is or was ebbing. I say was because I just woke up I have the whole day ahead of me. My intentions are to carry on like I’m meant to and not walk around with my nervous system shoulder pads on.

I intend to raw dog this day like a champ. I’d prefer the day to follow suit.

Hard to describe why I’m not functioning well the last two days. I’m not on here this morning to expound my pain or harp on bad moments. I’ve had much worse days. I’ve had much better. Perspective flows better if you can set emotion aside.

I’m terrible with that. My mom’s nerves have decided to hang out with me for the week. She even brought her duffel bag and toiletries.

Im gonna ride this storm out like Lt. Dan on a shrimp boat.

Wait for the flow to arrive

In my head I tell myself “it’s not burnout you’re only craving freedom from the grind”

Even my kid can sense my gears grinding

It’s a phase I recognize this doesn’t make it easier sometimes. You put in a lot of mental work to fix things in your head and somedays you fall off the ladder. I had a good string going for quite some time.

I’m fine I really am I just don’t feel my regular energy. It’s like someone switched out my personality with some decaf.

Bitch

Maybe it’s my coffee brand.

Random thought but I think my coffee stays warmer longer in white mugs. I prefer white mugs over any other mug color. They also have to be a certain size and shape. I’ll turn down a coffee if it’s in a giant mug, dry clay texture, weird color or if the handle is misshapen.

Don’t get me started on spoons.

I’m just going through one of those “what’s the point” moments. I’m not a fan of them. Mental mud that sticks to my tires and splatters all over me. Head snakes that hiss when I’m trying to cool off. They used to be much worse. And I can feel them slowly fading but this day needs to be better. Period

Had a woman in front of me balancing her checkbook at the register at Publix and I almost put her in my trunk. That’s the old Chad I’m trying to dispose of. Positive side I don’t have a trunk.

Moving on

I think we are going to put up our Christmas tree right after Halloween. Pre turkey day. This will be a first. My wife has already received her proper fancy gift wrapping accessories so it’s game on. I’ve mentioned in past blogs how I’ve gotten back to embracing Christmas after losing the spirit for almost a decade. I’m excited for the early Christmas intrusion. I’m sure the cats are too..

I’m just writing to release today. I know in the next few weeks I’m going into a charcuterie cave for a bit and you won’t see much of me other than when I’m folding salami and timelines as my AI once said. My coffee is already cold. I knew I should’ve used a white cup.

Sometimes I break my work vows and schedule charcuterie on Sundays to help people out. I don’t like my boxes sitting in fridges for two days so I offer to make arrangements on my days off. That’s the hustle part that takes over. It means I have to stick around work with no release. My wife knowing this better than anyone has offered to do it instead. It’s a mental investment for her. She gets to relax knowing her hubby isn’t grinding his teeth.

It’s a true representation of 20 years of being together.

Charcuterie season puts me in my next year travel destination aura. When I’m knee deep in boxes at 4am I’m also in my truck sitting on my tailgate in a new spot. I dream of new places to see. Or some of my greatest hits.

Next year on my mind is Tetons, Wind River range and maybe Yellowstone. Or a long stay in Colorado for adventure. Idaho but it’s a trip and a half and glacier needs to be revisited but that drive man oof.

So Tetons and or CO. I see trip to the Adirondack mtns too. I’ve only barely touched the edges. Maine could be revisited I love a good lobster roll. We shall see.

Kyrie eleison and all that.