I had some wedding activities that compromised my “couch time” this past weekend. I’d say 75% of my day is based on ritual activities from the moment I get out of bed until the moment I return to its horizontal haven. I have at least one hour couch time when I get up that does include additional ritual routines. I meditate for 21 minutes. I sit still for 20, it takes a minute for me to unload my shoulders, face, stomach and pelvic area into a released state. After my meditation I grab my coffee that was brewing during my stillness and I’ll open up my socials, respond to some messages (this is why you may get a response at 4:45am), come up with some meaningful work post and then I’ll write until it’s time to go for my walk. So I may actually sit on my soft spot for two hours without active movement except for coffee refills. When I get home from work I wash the charcuterie off of me, say hi to my fam and from 5:45- 8:30 I’m sofa happy until bed. It used to bother me to lounge so much but I’ve chosen to spend 5 hours of my day being retired. My two days off a week I also keep the same vibe. If weather permits, I travel. If it doesn’t I’ll find a a tinker to tink to give my noodle something to reckon with. On occasion a big catering will cause me to work on my day off. When this happens I reward myself with something. It may be a small purchase that pairs well with my hobbies or I’ll take an extra day off and travel farther.

I work 45 hours a week but I consider it part time to my life. If it’s slow at work I’ll sit in my chair and relax. “If you got time to lean you got time to clean” can kiss my ass.

I’ve allocated my life to allow time to lean.

I can get a little cranky and in my feels when my rituals get opposed. One of the reasons I no longer go out aside from the fact that bars don’t do it for me anymore is I enjoy my lounge time. I like being cozy and comfy. My joints and muscles do to. So when special functions arise such as family in town or events like weddings and rehearsal dinners I get a tad cranky because I know my routines are going to change for a minute. Once I get into the groove I’m fine. It’s absolutely nothing personal y’all I despise wearing pants after 5pm. Honestly I don’t like wearing pants at all especially after the month of May in the south.

The older you get the more humidity clings to you.

Events are hard for me to enjoy because I still haven’t adjusted to socializing without a vodka in my life/hand. I’ve been transparent on here that I will still have one beer to socialize it’s my mental pacifier. Does that make a 100% sober? No. Do I give a shit what people think about that? Also no. I’ve built a routine that works for me. I’m about 90% healed after 30 years of some harsh mental environments.

I’m winning.

It’s ok to be happy for people to do what works for them. It’s why I don’t sponsor others, it’s why I don’t do AA, it’s why I do this all on my own. It’s my path.

Since I’ve gotten on the energy and vibration kick lately I’m much more aligned with reading the energy in the room. If I’m in a good spot with good people I absorb that energy into mine. As do all of us if you’re paying attention. If a place or room is full of love and positivity I’m going to radiate with it. Especially if I’m with people I care for.

I absorb, I attract, I align. The AAA club I prefer. This past weekend was full of great energy, love and beauty. I used to go to wedding functions with dread and hesitation. Nothing to do with anyone’s company it’s just the same movie over and over again. I’m in my 50s I’ve been to quite a few weddings. Only the names change.

This one was different for me. One reason being it was my daughter’s first opportunity to be a bride’s maid so I was invested. The other reason is I’m getting better at absorbing these feelings and energy at a larger level. I used to be able to read energy from individuals, now I can collect from the whole room.

I pick up laughter across the tables, I feel the warmth of love from families, I watch others smile and it goes into me and stays. It’s difficult to describe this feeling. During the wedding I could feel the energy in the room. At the reception I would walk around clusters and vibe. Almost like a magnet for emotion. I had to leave early as I always do to keep it together but I went home with a smile on my face.

It was a beautiful weekend that kept me off my sofa. It wasn’t a sacrifice of ritual patterns, it was a sponge of pure memories. Also I don’t mind having a few dozen people tell me how beautiful my daughter is.

Is it wrong to want to respond with a “duh”?

My memory banks have been updated with some mental pics that will stay with me forever. Good ones.

It took some solid time for me to learn how to not only “read the room” in the correct manner. If you’ve read some of my older blogs I mention from time to time that I’m a systems guy. By that I mean that I absorb myself into the system that surrounds my environment. It’s why the restaurant business was my personality for so long. I was absorbing its energy for three decades.

It took 5 years to shake it off

heal

cleanse

repair

But I did. But I have

Think of it as a vocational parasite, a symbiote if you will.

The wedding was beautiful and I’m still downloading all the gratitude.

Life is truly amazing. I no longer chase it. It sits on my sofa with me.

☮️