I’m heading to the gulf tomorrow to enjoy a concert with some of my favorite people. Rarely do I go to concerts anymore they don’t host them at 5 in the afternoon which is perfect concert time for me. Staying up past 10 is a feat for me nowadays but I think I’ll manage. I haven’t been to this part of the gulf in quite some time. This particular area holds quite a bit of sacred memory for me. I am attuned to this area like a bee in a flower. No amount of trivial touristy traffic will discourage my enjoyment of this place. Also it’s very rare for me to travel and enjoy air conditioning, hot showers and soft cushioning. Most of my extended time off revolves around a little more extreme environments of less luxurious amenities. I like em both.

Balance

In my evening chat with myself last night my conversation in my head reminded me that I’m working the opposite side of the deli today. Not my normal routine that I do daily and that used to get in my head. I’ve made a couple of hundred sandwiches in Graze but I’ve never worked a shift on that side my associate Barry is Johnny on the spot with his station. I only go to back him up when it’s busy or if I want to sing songs in his ear while he works. When you work along side the same person for a decade you can build quite the odd relationship with them. Especially if it’s in a kitchen.

I’m very cozy around my own mise en place but not so much someone else’s. My muscle memory vibes better in my own environment. I know my pars. I can make a box with my eyes closed. Sandwich side on a Saturday can make for a fun time. It’s only sandwiches I’ve been in deeper shit but this would’ve made me anxious 6 months ago. Today I’m actually looking forward to it.

I can’t accurately describe to you how much of a big deal that is to me. This is a mental transmutation.

Rewiring repair.

I’ve added some replacement parts in my head that are working quite well.

It’ll be a good time. Like using the other side of your brain for an entire shift. I even added a few sandwich features to make it more of a challenge.

This is a big deal to me yall.

When I wrote “your reckoning is over” through some friendly automatic writing I’ve received some healthy mental downloads.

My pressure valve is on auto mode.

My trail markers are freshly painted.

You can repair your mental health.

Fucking facts

Tomorrow I hit 42 months of a better life. I rarely count anymore but I like when the big numbers can be consolidated into little numbers

1247 days = 42 months. I may have to play a lotto ticket on those numbers.

I feel good friends. I don’t get on Facebook as much as I used to but I like to look at my memories and read who I was for the past 15 years. Year after year I read words from the same person but only now does it sound foreign when I read them again. I feel every inch of bitterness and humor used to hide something else in my posts.

It truly is something to reflect back on your past emotions. Facebook is good for something.

As I posted recently I’m healing.

It’s 6am, I’m about to go for my morning walk but first a little quiet time for some stretching meditation.

This is me now.

I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

☮️