I’m still processing this. Not my reckoning itself but the act of ending it. I’ve looked back on what “he” wrote more times than I can count. I want to summon that author again and ask him.. well everything.

Why was this written? Why at this moment? What does this entail?

And

What’s next?

I’m an impatient person at heart. I’ve always been an expect results in action. Maybe that’s why I don’t have a garden. I want to see the seed grow to full form immediately. Pour water on it, sit and watch. It’s the tending that makes me lose interest. Actually that can’t be true. I’ve been tending to my reckoning for the last 4 years.

Probably the biggest observance of patience I’ve ever exhibited.

“Your reckoning is over”

I look at those quotations and ask myself “am I quoting myself?” Or am I quoting my other self?

I can’t accurately describe to you the feeling of reading something you wrote but you didn’t. My mind has been rotating this data like a washing machine rinse cycle on repeat.

I keep thinking in my head “don’t knock on my door, say hi and then leave. We have so much to talk about”

*Radio silence

I’m up let’s do something

*radio silence

My mind, my thinking, my daily routine of thoughtful obsessions has been overtaking by my quest for higher consciousness. Spirituality that brushed against me like cold breeze on a hot stagnant southern afternoon. I still feel that breeze even though it was four months ago.

*taps brain “is this thing on?”

So.. it’s over? I can relax now? Go bout my ‘bizness? Where’s my diploma? My degree?

Jk sorta not really

I know there’s more to come

I’m just too impatient to watch it grow. Let me see those buds bud. Let me see them blooms. Sprout goddamnit!

Jk sorta not really.

Did anyone notice how bright it was at night during that storm? Have you ever seen the night so bright? During a storm? I went outside at 6:30am to check my surroundings and it was bright enough to cause my retinas to pull back.

6:30am.. There’s no watchable sunrise during a storm.

It’s 6:30 now. Same type of weather but much less on the brightness spectrum. Maybe that full moon hated hiding behind the veil.

Think I’ll go for a walk in the rain.

Toodles and peace ☮️