My tism shows with coffee cup selections. We have a plethora of coffee cups in our home. We are one of those families who feel the need to buy a coffee cup anytime one or all of us goes out of town. Even my daughter who doesn’t drink coffee. Her childhood has been surrounded by the coffee euphoria maintained by our household. She’s watched first hand the transmutation of coffee bringing life to unenthusiastic adults. She’ll get there one day. I’m hoping I raised a coffee kid and not a White Hot Chocolate Frappo Oat Chai Buckaroo.

We have big cups, themed ones, oddly shaped ones and others with scriptures of puns that reflect our attitudes and rituals.

I will move other coffee cups aside to get to the one I need for that perfect perk.

The size, weight, color and handle have to be right. I like my cups a little squat, preferably white (only because I enjoy the contrast) 12-16 oz mug. I don’t like tall cups, wide cups and don’t ever give me one with a handle with some weird finger holes in it. I’ll drop my cup. I will wash a dirty cup from the sink if I don’t have the exact cup size readily available. I brew my coffee with exact number of grounds and raw sugar crystals. One milligram of miss measurement will f#^ my whole day away. Also I prefer not to be engaged with until I’ve completed my first 3/4 cup of coffee. This is the main reason I get up before 5. So I can enjoy my coffee in complete silence.

My spoon has to be of medium girth. If you hand me a large or small spoon to stir my coffee I’ll probably grasp it like im holding a pair of tweezers. I fill my spoon up with 3/4 raw sugar. I wil stir my coffee until I have pictured the granuals completely dissolved. I want my coffee to taste exactly the same from the bottom to the top. You will never see sugar sediment in the bottom of my cup. If I get drive thru coffee I will pull over and finish stirring the sugar residue that the barista only half stirred

*tsk tsk

That spoon better not have a round handle on it either. It’s called flat wear for a reason you luddites.

Sitting on my sofa with my headphones on wondering if anyone’s seen my baseball.

I’m very particular about my socks. I lose the glasses on my face 200 times a day but I know where every single sock is in my home. Every week I’ll do a sock inventory. If they aren’t all bonded into pairs I immediately go into search mode. I’ll tear my entire home apart trying to reunite the socks. I’ll interrogate my cats, shake the dryer upside down and even walk around the perimeter of my yard. Sometimes I’ll ask my neighbors to keep look out. If I can’t find the missing half I’ll have a ceremony for the solo sock. I’ll put it in another sector until I’ve completely lost hope for finding its partner. It’s very sad.

I won’t eat a sandwich for dinner. Hamburgers don’t count. That’s completely different. I’m referring to cold cuts and sandwich bread. I love a good turkey sandwich. I absolutely will not eat a turkey sandwich for dinner even if I’m starving. I’m not going to eat Pot roast for breakfast either. It’s not right,

Don’t come at me with that shit.

I won’t buy clothes online unless I’ve already have worn them before. I have to touch the fabric before purchase. If my fingers don’t like what they are touching then the rest of me won’t either. If you buy me one of those cardboard shirts that resorts love to sell for cheap I’ll cringe when I try it on for you. And then I’ll stick it in the same drawer with my one lonely sock. Jeans? If they aren’t low rise you’re wasting your money. How do you sit with your belt line above your belly buttons?

HOW DO YOU BREATH

Can’t wear jeans without a belt. I won’t even leave the house.

I’ll sit on the couch with a pillow over my lap. I have to have something covering my lap when I’m sitting down. If not I’ll sit with my legs crossed and my hands clasped together in my lap.

I’m a cat person. I adore all cats. Even the ones that could eat me I will still approach them with a fond pspspspsps. No cat has ever crossed my path that I don’t at least try to let my pet it. My cat is passed out beside me and I’m in Zen.

I could have a dozen cats in my home and not bat an eye.

Dogs? I love dogs. I think they are gifts from heaven. They are loyal, fierce protectors. I have zero urge to own one. I like YOUR DOGS. I don’t align with dog energy. It’s overwhelming. They’re perfect for most of you. I’ll take my cat who only likes me for an hour a day.

I can relate.

I will take all my camping gear and reorganize it weekly. Doesn’t matter if I don’t go camping for a month. I have quite the collection. If I’m missing one little thing I’ll know immediately. I keep my inventory tight and ready to roll. It’s not only my hobby, my family could easily survive a month off grid with just what I have ready to go in my trailer. I’m not paranoid by any means. I’m prepared. Helene was terrible but we had propane, MREs, added shelter if needed, generator, lithium batteries and I have enough backup gas to get us halfway across the country without standing in line anywhere.

4WD on purpose. Survival is a hobby of mine. Everyone should know how to filter their own water. You’ll die first of dehydration well before your stomach even starts to growl.

Paranoid? Maybe. I’ve gone 12 hours without water. Highly don’t recommend.

Each charcuterie box I do I feel like I’m getting closer and closer to saying “this is it”. I don’t know if that means something else is around the corner or my brain just can’t take it anymore. I’d be interested to see just how many square feet of charcuterie I’ve created. Boxes folded, plastic wrap stretches. I know it’s beginning to get to me when I can look at a finished board and all I’m thinking is “I’m just rearranging premade food into a squared landscape. I’m not creating food. I’m organizing it in a sexy way. Don’t get me wrong I love my deli. I just feel like I’ve been doing assembly for too long.

I was not made for this is all .

Camping Sunday. Linville has been screaming at me for weeks. She’s healed a bit after Helene. I have to find out why she’s pulling me so hard. This is more than just an urge. Can’t quite explain it. We will find out together.

Peace ☮️