I’ve been logging out of social media the last couple of weeks to shake my patterns up in my mind. Some days it’ll be one or two apps, others it’ll be no videos or reels and a couple of mornings I got up, checked my work messages and put my phone away for the day. I’ve deliberately deleted my Facebook app twice through the week. I’ve come back a couple of times to post for work and answer some inquiries. I haven’t engaged other than responding to a few humorous posts I was tagged in. If that was all Facebook represented (like it used to be) it wouldn’t be a problem for me. No one is happy on here. Sure a lot of us make it a satire but it doesn’t exactly radiate warmth. Even when we jockingly insert our POV into the social media world we are deliberately pointing our fingers at something or someone.

Bathroom walls have better etiquette.

Im not pointing my fingers at anyone I’m one of the biggest enablers. I’ve built a following on it. We are numb to its affects until it becomes our personality. What does that even mean? How many times do you find yourself walking around observing the general public as if they were in a Facebook forum or group page? You no longer see humanity in people all you’re doing is stereotyping because of what their type represents on social media. I’m avoiding painting a picture for you here. It’s subjective but I’m sure you can grasp what I’m saying and none of us are above it. I’m not referring to racism not even by a mile but it can be referred to on this subject as well. This is assumed stereotyping, there’s a hundred ways it could go.

This wasn’t meant to start off as a lecture. Whoops.

I read somewhere recently that the average number of times that we open our phone daily is over 300 plus.

Listen, we aren’t suppose to have all this knowledge or view points of the millions of people that surround our lives. It’s not important for me to acknowledge that Phyllis from Marietta hates cyclists or Steve in Indiana thinks Bud light is for men named Blair. Why should I get my energy shaken from Timothy in Astoria, Oregon who thinks dogs should have their own bathroom at Starbucks? Tabitha from Tulsa thinks Swift is the Antichrist because she wears triangle earrings.

Of course this is hyperbole but not by much. I’m just making an illustration. You find yourself going from “who the heck are these asshats?” to spending the next two hours with a stranger’s pointless rebuke inside your head. It may not have even been thrown your way just reading it in your mind got in your craw.

Let’s bring it in closer to your own community. You post something about a band that also refers to not so well liked billionaire and people start to insult you because they misread your post. Legit I didn’t even make the connection until I asked myself why people where laughing until someone finally made a reference. We are all salting our newfound psychosis’s on here.

Kicking our own bee hive

Anyway

The two days I put my phone away I made it a point to write down a few things that shook up my daily routine. I went a little more extreme than some. I purposely didn’t look at my phone screen to see the time when I woke up. I usually keep it on DND but my family was out of town so I keep it on for emergencies. I washed my teeth and brushed my body (my mom used to say this) and made my coffee for the morning.

And then I sat on my sofa with one hand holding my coffee and my other hand looking up at me asking me “now what?” I stared around my living room noticing how cluttered it had become. Not anything out of the ordinary. My surroundings can sometimes get jumbled. I’m that person that if I’m carrying around something I can hold in one hand there’s a good chance I’ll set it down somewhere it doesn’t belong. I may have a can opener in a potted plant somewhere or a loose house key in the dishwasher. I’m aloof at home. I rarely wear my glasses at home because I have my eyes in my phone.

I didn’t jump up and start cleaning either it was 5:04 am. I’m not a maniac. I had prearranged some tasks to take care of the day before. I knew I’d have some time gaps to deal with. I’m probably on my phone for at least an hour first thing in the morning. I’m an early riser usually my day begins at 5 even though my work usually doesn’t begin until 8:45. I often write at this time as I’m currently doing and then some yoga and or walk. My workouts are only three days a week once I stopped drinking fat loss fights became a thing of the past. I read most of a book I had started 2 months ago and pushed my yoga for additional 15 minutes. Added another mile to my walk and had an extra 15 to unwind and eat my breakfast in silence. No scrolling, no senseless videos. I felt extremely isolated with my family out of town. I was hyper aware of the normal noises in my home. Driving to work I our my phone in my pocket the whole way. When I arrived at work I put my phone in my office and went about my day. The only time I used my phone was to check for work messages on IG. No scrolling, I’d open the messenger screen and go about my day. When I got home from work my phone was still at 65% battery. I use my phone to play music at work and respond to friends and family texts. Once I settled in I made dinner and finished that book that I’ve been resting my coffee on for the last two months and then I started another one. I’m not a tv person. I’ll watch some shows with Jess I’m not an extremist they just don’t hold my attention anymore. They’re all regurgitated stories with younger actors rereading the same old scripts. I suppose this is what happens as you get older. All the stories I want to hear have been told I can no longer relate to the new ones. I turned in and set my phone to my happy tones and went to bed with a 40% battery life. I normally have my phone next to a charger for half the day as if it were on life support. My addiction may be a little more extreme than yours. I’m on about 8-9 hours screen time daily average. Ask some people what their average phone screen time is and it’s like asking them their favorite sexual pose. They look at you strange and then some of their faces turn red. We all know we are on here far too much.

*insert Wall-E movie here

I did it for two days. Probably 40 hours or so actually. When I got home from work yesterday I downloaded my fb app I’m particularly attached to marketplace I find some good deals and I’m looking for a few specific items I want for my trip next month.

Is there a marketplace only app?

Of course I was curious as to the goings on of Facebook so I switched over to my feed and immediately put my phone down after about 60 seconds.

It just keeps getting worse.

Regardless of your political beliefs the world was a better place before social media.

Period

I deleted it again.

I know I’m not acting extreme. I takes 30 seconds to download the app again. Unfortunately I have to use it for work. I have an obligation to respond to some messages I have a handful of people who are fighting the good fight of sobriety that check in on messenger and I keep them close to my heart.

It has it’s uses, its advantages we just don’t operate it that way.

I’m not selling tickets here nor jumping on a pedestal. I have a social media problem, a phone problem. It’s part of my reckoning to put these away. If I post these blogs it’ll become a post and ghost for me. I enjoy writing. I may write some stories one day for entries so I encourage myself to write at least a thousand words daily. It’s apart of my meditative routine. I may even write more if I can keep my nose out of my phone. Obviously to post these I’ll have to download the app again and then I’ll delete it or at least from my screen which is useless I’ll still find it in .2 seconds, it’s just one more frictional rub of my thumb.

I’ll keep expanding my time off until it becomes a habit and then hopefully I’m done.

*key hallelujah chorus

Again I’m not elevating myself above the masses. Social media affects my mental health, it has for awhile. If it doesn’t do that to you then good for you! I think you haven’t realized it yet but good for you anyway. TikTok is a little different for me. I’m starting to see why they tried to delete it but I’ll keep it to myself some of you would probably think I’ve lost my mind. I’m sure I have but that’s been my intention for the last four years.

I did enjoy the numerous tags on a Cheesecake Factory post last night. Keep fighting the patriarchy!

Peace.