I make myself write most mornings as part of my routine. Routines are important to me for the sake of keeping myself in control of my operations. It allows me to pace my day as I see fit. There are outside circumstances that may temporarily change my rituals and routines such as a high volume shifts that may cause me to go in early or the weatherman may decide if my brisk morning walk may not be an option. I create alternate routines on these days. Regardless I plug in 30 minutes of morning decompression. If I have to leave for work at 4am at 3:30am I’m on my sofa drinking a a cup of coffee with my feet rested on the floor. I’m not autistic my day goes better when I perceive I’m in control of it.

This is a healthy practice for me.

As I was driving my daughter to school the other day she remarked about an observation she made.

“You don’t get as angry at the traffic as you used to”

I said “thank you”

Last week as I was driving to work my mind told me I can get angry about the traffic all around me. I can stomp my feet and scream at the top of my lungs, I’m still going to arrive work at the same time.

I flipped a switch in my head. For some probable coincidence I’ve been arriving to work about 5 minutes earlier than average ever since. No I haven’t broken the traffic matrix. Sometimes slow and steady does win the race.

Perspective

I go into work clear headed and focused. Yes I still deal with people with “broken” turn signals and others who stare down at their crotch instead of watching traffic but I no longer allow it to affect my day. It’s not in my control so I release its control over me. I’m controlling the energy around me. This isn’t mystical it’s literal science.

It’s fixing me ever so slightly. Like a harmonic flow soft music while you’re receiving a massage.

A message massage.

For me to understand energy and frequency I focus it into how music helps me. I turn energy into music. This didn’t happen overnight and it’s a work in progress.

I haven’t driven more than 5 miles over the speed limit in two weeks. This isn’t deliberate my foot feels lighter on the pedal.

I think I posted something about creating your own life algorithms. I can’t remember which one I posted. I have a few thousand words floating around waiting to roost on being published. Some never will. Sometimes I go all over the place. I’m meant to. I’m absorbing so many things I need a cloud backup soon.

My reckoning is slowly evolving into a pursuit of harmony. I call this phase two of my rehabilitation. Three years plus of putting aside the things that hinder my mind to heal and push forward.

Even when you push away some bad habits it doesn’t fix you like airplane model glue. You have to reckon with yourself as an individual.

And I have

And I am

I’m slowly changing my life algorithms.

Balancing

I turned part of my deli upside down during this phase. There was no provocation it just seemed to fit what I was looking for. I was angry at the deli for about 4 months. This little property made gosh dang sure I was mentally toughened for it. I wish it had given me a warning..

You could feel my tired and frustrated energy when you walked in. Add to the fact that I hadn’t been in the public eye for three years.

I started going through all of my old notes of things I had planned. I had forgotten so many ideas or disregarded due to stress and a few opening hiccups. Some ideas didn’t reveal themselves so well once I tried them. That happens frequently but it’s the only way to find out. I built the deli to harness positive energy way before I got on this vibration kick.

Manifestation

It’s taken me a while to harness the positivity I put into it. It’s finally coming back. I spent my afternoon yesterday putting a little of my hard earned money back into it. Not because I had to. It felt good to do it. I still have some work to finish but she’s getting there. Again.

8 months later.

This deli is literally an extension of me. If I’m happy the deli looks happy. If I’m tired my deli looks empty. The displays are transparent and almost empty. If I’m rearranging it means my mind is in a hundred different places. It will always be evolving because I’m evolving. I told someone the other day this deli is a social experiment to myself. I’m doing what feels right. Period. If I change just a tad so will the deli. If you’re a regular then enjoy the ride.

Also plants are expensive

My thumb needs to turn green sooner than later.

It’s a part of my harmonic phase. Why? Don’t ask me I’m just doing what my intuition tells me.

This write up started with the heading “and go”. It’s symbolic of what I’m writing today. This is one of those open up and start writing day. I enjoy these as they are a little more challenging. I’ve always heard never post your first draft but I do it all the time. Most I don’t even go back and edit y’all can figure out the mistakes.

It’s honest and sometimes broken. That’s not so bad.

Cheers