I was writing a fairly long blog touching base on vibration and frequencies but I put it down for a little while simply because my mind told me to. When I come across new things and ideas they are like toys to me. When I get them I can’t put them down. I’m slightly obsessive until I become too obsessed and then I burn it out of existence. Some will stick to me forever like an appendage is supposed to, others slowly fade away like my hairline did. My mind is in a mad dash and flurry of wide open happenstances and trail markers.

When I semi retired from restauranteur paradise (heavy HEAVY sarcasm) I made a deal with this guy currently typing that he needed to go find himself. I had no map, no navigation, no education hell I hadn’t read a book without pictures or wasn’t made into an action movie in a decade.

I had no clue. Late 2020 I was a broke man, broke spirit, broke ass ideology.

I spent the first year of my journey in a downward spiral of self destruction and vodka. Little did I know that my journey required me to walk back down the hill that I had climbed for 30 years, take off my shoes and start all over again.

I did not want to

I wanted to walk back to my car in the parking lot and swig from my favorite brand of vodka.

Change can happen at the drop of a hat. Acceptance and gratitude can be a like a line at the DMV. It took a bit for me to understand the trail markers lighting my path. I missed quite a few along the way. A few? I almost fell off the freaking moutain.

All it took was a random text from one of the two most important people in my life. I kept that text to myself for almost 4 years. I kept it close to my heart because it was a talisman. I didn’t want to share it. It wasn’t time. Some sort of distant divinity said let it go it’s time. When I shared that info with this particular person just recently it felt like a big stone wall fell down in front of me and light breeze hit my soul.

The last bit of that crunchy, stale ass Chad blew away.

Love truly conquers all.

Feels like my ship is coming in. My mind did a little reset. It’s a had a few but this one seemed like the heaviest. I’ve been waiting for my real life to begin *cue Colin Hay’s beautiful melody.

That first year was a rough one. I wanted to heal immediately but my journey had other things in mind. I had to be stripped down. I didn’t do any of this deliberately y’all. Self destruction comes naturally here.

After the summer of 2021 things started to ping. Turning 50 seemed to be a valid process in my soul. It changed my thinking. I stopped thinking forward and started looking behind me. They always say never look behind you but that’s just silly. Sometimes you need to look behind you to see how far you’ve come along the way.

Pick up the litter you left behind.

Perspective is paramount.

When I turned 50 and I looked behind me and saw the 49.99999999999 year old me standing directly behind. I winked at him and started my 4mph uphill cadence I used to climb table rock in one hour. I left him in the dirt. The old Chad was a hard head. He kept pace with me for awhile. I knew the day I turned 50 a reckoning was coming. On 9/5/21 I made the decision to stop drinking. It took three months to comply. Old Chad was indeed a hard head.

I’ve talked many of your ears off about my bout with the bottle. This journey of mine would’ve abruptly stopped had I not put it down. Absolutely no doubt in my mind. I’ve said it 1000 times you’re the only person on this planet that can make yourself stop drinking.

You are your own divinity

I manifested my place in line. I’m not going back.

Life is beautiful without the bottle.

I went full scale Walden for about three years. I immersed myself in nature. I hugged trees (still do. Once you start you can’t stop), cried at sunrises, meditated by fiery pits and dangled my feet over ridges. I consumed as much free oxygen from those trees that are no longer there. I spent so much time in those mountains that I can tell you with absolute certainty they are still weeping from the hurricane. It made me so sad I went back home for a bit.

Also am I the only one that thinks the sky had never looked the same since?

I’m currently obsessed with frequencies and vibrations which also is why music is hitting me different now.

5 years ago on this day i was assembling 900 pork belly sliders for an Euphoria event downtown. I had already checked out of SCHPG (my restaurant group) in my mind. I’d be physically pushed out in another 5 months.

3 years ago I was on the road to Sedona hell bent on finding my own vortex.

And I did. This was real euphoria I didn’t find it on a plate of food.

Today I’m blogging about frequencies, planet alignment and spirituality. Building my own manifestation guide.

Trail markers are wild

Life is wild. I found myself apologizing to a hawk yesterday for cutting its home down in my yard.

I had something mentally shake me while camping on the island. I’m keeping it to myself right now, my intuition is telling me to keep a lot including finding a random note in a book that said “be silent” amongst other things I took to heart. The episode I encountered was enough to make me question if I almost died.

“I don’t think I’m ready for this. I’m not the right person for what you’re trying to show me”

Whatever the vibe was it was indifferent to my worries

Random

I came across the Schumann resonance upon chance the other day. I’m not smart enough to explain what it is a lot of it seems to be subjected to what you may believe in. Some triggering key words such as resets and timeline compressions can make you flinch. I enjoy reading on theories of resets, blips in our timeline and multi dimensional mind f#%*s. (I had a small reckoning with how language and tone can affect vibrations)

It’s a fun 🐛 🐇 holes to fall into. I’m throwing a lot new ideas into my mental notebooks. I’ve had my nose up my rear end for a long time. I’m searching for something that I can’t describe at the moment. Every day I feel like I’m progressing forward. I do take breaks in between to allow my brain to filter out the BS dust that gets in there too. You can get too caught up in theories and get completely absorbed. I’ve had to ground myself quite a few times so I don’t cover my dome with foil.

But

There’s

So

Much

Out

There

To explore

I’m in my 50’s yall. I’m allowed to chase dreams now I’ve freaking earned it. If I deserve any entitlement it’s just that and only that.

During this Schumann resonance that’s going off the charts at the moment, I went to my meditation chamber 🛌 put my nightly playlist on it’s the same playlist I go to every single night the only variations are I shuffle the music I don’t listen to it in order of display. I only listen to these songs at this time should they come on any other time of the day I skip over them. I know these songs maybe better than the artists who wrote and sang them. 6 plus months of this nightly playlist. At the moment it’s 17 songs I occasionally add another one when I find the right one. The music has nothing to do with memories or people associated with the songs. I add them for the harmony, the melody. My brain only says “this works”.

Some I vibe too much better than others. Some will come on and I’ll smile even though I hear them every night even in my sleep.

My playlist was different last night. Same songs

Same playlist

But

Each song had changed in it’s own way.

What do you mean Chad?

I backspace a lot when I talk about these things because I’m not a fan of straight jackets. My rotator cuffs are ruined.

In no particular order I’ll share what I heard last night, briefly

One song I vibe too the lyrics changed. Every. Single. One. The name of the song remained the same although it wasn’t mentioned until towards the end.

It was Natural Beauty by Neil Young. Don’t ask me what the lyrics were I can’t tell you one single lyric now but this song is one of my favorites. Harvest Moon could actually be my favorite album and I’m not that big of a Young fan. But this album has slapped me for 30 years. The song I heard last night was that same exact song but different.

Why?

Another song played like a remix. It was extended.

Another had a woman singing in it. There’s no woman 100 miles within this song.

Others weren’t quite as obvious, one the singer’s twang seemed exaggerated and almost like the song had slowed down. Another didn’t enunciate each word that was supposed to rhyme with the next.

One sounded like it was being recorded live as I listened to it.

I had a steak with fries for dinner last night. Maybe the garlic butter was laced with something..

In my mind I can’t help but think it was something else.

The best thing about beliefs and perspectives are you can have and enjoy your own without it bothering someone else.

It just that easy

I’ve put my butt in a sling the last three or four weeks. My experience at Hunting Island changed me. Don’t ask me to explain I’m incapable at the moment and my hands are starting to get tired of typing. I’ve been rewiring my brain to recognize positivity and embrace it. Ever try to rewire your brain? It’s exhausting. I’ve almost walked into walls, I’m losing stuff all the time my mental status is consumed with note talking and reading trail markers. Trail markers are just my subconscious helping a brother out. I realized just last night that I have long conversations with my subconscious while I meditate. The music is my doorway.

My meditation takes me elsewhere I have no doubt. Music starts my journey.

Music lyrics highlight in your mind when you’re here. Anyone use Apple play? It could be the only reason why I still embrace my phone. Ever watch the lyrics as the song plays? It rolls slowly and the words highlight as it plays along with the song.

That’s what my mind does with certain songs. When I’m walking in the morning I sort of go into a meditative mode. Music is just background melodies until a particular lyric comes along and my brain captures it and highlights it. It’s not the song itself necessarily but just the one message in the song, or chorus or maybe it’s just the intro vibrating into my soul.

Music is an entirely different vice to me now. If you were to take any of my senses away leave my hearing. I’ve seen enough. I can still feel a sunrise on my face.

I’ll go further on my rewiring when I’m ready. It’s already affecting my family and that’s why I do it.

Random but relevant. My charcuterie sales are poop this week. I answered one phone call and just like that I hit my quota. I refer to these people as my guardian angels. Last week I was struggling with positivity I had a lapse. This week I kept saying it’ll come Gangwer don’t slide and it did.

I’m not selling courses yall I’m following trail markers

Last night after I ended my mediation and removed all of my buffers and blinders and commited to sleep. Sleep had been difficult this week I normally sleep like a baby. A thought shot through my head like an arrow, randomly. In no words it told me I was already rich.

“Stop seeking your prize. You won’t win the lottery

Stop chasing what’s not yours to have

Your daughter is your is your prize you have all you need”

I cried myself to sleep. It was an amazing cry

I’m on a heck of a ride y’all.