I had posted something on fb the other day lightly expressing that I felt a shift in myself and my surroundings. Amazingly only a few pushed it a little but it remained somewhat positive or at least mildly acknowledged as opposed to crass comments that seem to be the norm nowadays.

I’ve been absorbing a few things in my downtime in my noggin. Nothing too alternative or unusual I introduced myself into frequencies and vibrations a while back for meditation. Can’t say I introduced myself it’s more like we ran into each other. Sort of like those old Reese’s commercials “you got your chocolate in my peanut butter! You got your peanut butter in my chocolate!” When I started implementing music and frequency levels into my nightly routine I could slowly feel my body wanting to levitate from it’s resting place. Not in the literal sense but let’s check back on that one. Jk.

Sorta

I’m in no way promoting levitation or any sort of mystical arts. I’m not speaking in tongues or going off the deep end. I’m cognisant to the point of hyper awareness of my own self. I’m only relaxed to the point of feeling weightlessness. Also if you are close-minded person I’ll add that I was too. Was being the key word.

You can call me lazy or maybe my approach may go against how some want to experience new ideas but I sort of reverse things I study. Whatever that’s suppose to me is I indulge myself into so new experiences for a bit and then I’ll analyze myself during and after. I’m not much of researching ideas at first I prefer to jump into the water to see how cold and deep it is. You can write about how cold and deep it is or even write a dissertation about it my lazy butt is going to go out and check it myself. If it were my first time ever hearing about a body of water and it’s varying degrees I wouldn’t be able to grasp exactly what you’re writing about without experiencing it. My reading comprehension is terrible. I’m a don’t read instructions guy. Not because I’m handy, it’s because I miss manage words I read. I’ve always been this way my high school GPA will reflect it. I don’t bake because the recipes are too exact. It’ll take me a few tried because I miss words.

A lot

Same goes for any woodworking projects. I’ll just build what I need out of my head. No blueprint no nothin. The end result is very predictable. I usually pay someone to fix it. But hey at least I gave it a shot. Not all of my projects fail but if someone asks me to build one for them it’s like the technology they used to land on the moon.

I can’t make it again.

Joking aside I’ve applied this to my three year reckoning with alcohol and mental health. All this means is I want to experience everything organically without some sort of periodical or outside study to influence my feelings or reactions. I’ve never looked up the benefits of cutting alcohol out or how your body repairs itself during this process. I jumped into the water to find out for myself and only then do I focus on how it’s affected my physical and mental health. This is in no way to dissuade anyone from researching the benefits of sobriety I’d encourage it for all of you. Especially if you suffer from withdrawals. It can be dangerous. For the first two weeks all I was concerned about was my chemical make up putting me into cardiac arrest. I’m still here so we good.

I like to write about how sobriety has changed my body, mind, mental health, family and ego without outside influence. That’s all. I don’t want to look up an article and think “that’s what I must be experiencing” I want to absorb it in my own way. It’s like the reverse of going on WebMD and looking up symptoms. That’s literally all it means.

I like surprises

You can easily go back and look at some of my posts about my recovery and compare it to a medical essay and it would probably run parallel to it’s results. I’m not in anyway discounting medical journals or research. I’m not trying to surgically repair a torn ankle ligament or diagnose a mole turning blue on my neck. I’m living my experiences and rewards from negating the bad things and journaling it. As stated previously it would run parallel to others experiencing the same thing I have no doubt. This is my own personal journal of recovery. Undisturbed by outside medical affiliation.

I’m slowly implementing the same process and experience with vibrations and frequencies. I’m all in my feels with instincts and intuitions at the moment. I’m traveling into some uncharted territory that I’ve never experienced or even tried up until I became attached to these headphones and how they’ve benefited my focus at times.

I involve certain frequencies with my meditations and walks. I have playlist of songs that harmonize with my night time routines when I “pre close” my evening. My normal routine now that I have some control over my work schedule is I lay down for bed between 8:30-9pm, I have my headphones on and a light blocker for my eyes and I set my playlist for whatever mood I’m trying to extinguish my day with. I allocate up to 30 minutes a night for this routine. I have no game plan as to what I want to think about I allow my mind to wander in its own backyard. No fence lines, no boundaries or neighbors. I close my eyes and say to myself “let’s go”

This practice enables me to go back in time (in my head) and address some childhood things I didn’t understand and or make peace with some memories that been unlocked. I can conjure up some amazing locked up memories implementing this routine. It’s not why I started doing this. It started out as enjoying some music as I decompressed for the evening. Over weeks and months I’ve been able to manipulate my subconscious just a tiny fraction. That tiny fraction helps me rewire my thinking process and release a lot of negative energy that I carry around. If you aren’t a student or believer of harnessing energy I get it, I used to think that was too progressive and or a hippie ish way of not dealing with reality.

Imagine making peace with a memory or memories that you’ve carried around for decades. It allows you to rewrite your history in your mind. It’s not like you’re erasing time. You can’t change what happened but you can focus on it’s effect. It’s truly remarkable. I’ve sought out a lot of old experiences out of my mental attic, took them out of the boxes, dusted them off, relabeled them and sent them to goodwill.

Dust them off? I take each one and study them through a different perspective, I have more gratitude in my heart now and it changes how you perceive things. Gratitude is the crème de la creme y’all. I’ve made peace with things that have stuck in my mental craw for decades. It’s nothing more than a little self hypnosis but it found me.

A peaceful, personal proclamation

I may have been carrying around some heavy luggage for years. May have? I know I have and each time I take some time to wrangle with it in a controlled setting I create a manageable file that I can later send to the recycle bin to allow more storage for better thoughts and vibes. I’ve put a lot of old files in the trash.

When you do this the weight of a thousand backpacks are lifted off your shoulders.

Imagine a childhood or adult trauma that just wrecked your day/week/month/ year and stuck to your brain like a barnacle. It’s like a 3D scar on your forehead that only you can see. It’s been there the whole time. We all have them. Some of us can shake it off I’m not one of those. So I’ve been taking them on one by one. I don’t go to bed and say to myself “let’s go unfuck Christmas Eve ‘84”. There’s no itinerary they come when they come. Often times I’m just sitting on a ridge watching the sun like a YouTube video.

In my head

Those are good vibes too. I get so deep I can smell the pines, I can smell/feel the dirt under my feet. Sometimes I wonder if I’m actually there.

To each their own. I’m enjoying this ride.

Nighttime is specifically for this. My mind is winding down. My thinking is fragile and exhausted from the day so there are no walls or barriers. Also no distractions I’m in complete darkness surrounded by music I’ve handpicked through it’s melodies and lyrics. If you were to listen to my playlist you wouldn’t hear any high pitches or loud beats. It’s methodical, it’s even.

Morning time meds I’m usually sitting cross legged on my sofa or I lie flat on the floor. I cover my eyes and use a system of hertz to absorb for 10-30 minutes depending on my work schedule. I don’t force it. I take it in when I can. Forcing it seems like it would negate it. For me it’s doing my morning routine and then my body says “let’s do it today.”

I’ll get myself cozy, cover my eyes and start the show. I use Solfeggio frequencies. The ranges are 174 hz to 963 hz. 432 hz being the mean for me. If you take some time to look them up (at this time I’m not gojng to play out each one and break down each benefit, you have the internet for that) there are easy to read charts all over to give you an introduction and instruction. One day I hope to be able to expound but right now I’m booted on the ground taking it in.

Like my other experiences I went in eyes closed (literally) and waited to see if there would be any results other than some morning rest. I don’t “time travel” back in this practice. I feel out my body in my mind. I talk to my brain a little too.

“How’s the body?”

“Are we tired?”

“Where does it hurt?”

“Let’s loosen up those mental joints and stretch”

I purposely set a smile on my face and I try to slowly dim the lights in my head.

I don’t fall asleep and I won’t I have caffeine surging through my bloodstream but I can feel my body trying it’s damndest to level out on the floor. No floating just floor clouding y’all. I relax my mind. Sometimes I’ll focus on manifestion. I’ll write more about that soon. It’s been a wild ride.

What has this done for me? Well first and foremost it allows me rest even though I’ve been asleep all night it’s good for my brain to prepare for the day slowly. Mornings should not be hectic as soon as you wake up. How many of us wake up and immediately get ready for work?

Quit that right now. I get an hour of me time. I’d set an alarm if I had to. When I have to work at 5am during the holidays I’ll get up at 3 some mornings. That one hour for me is paramount.

Morning med benefits

Charcuterie kills the joints in my hands. By Christmas Day I’m up in the morning rubbing my wrists and fingers just so I can finish wrapping presents. No one talks about the beat down your hands take cutting soft cheeses with a knife and folding little circles of meat into angles. I feel like I’ve been playing piano with weighted gloves on during a 12 hour concert. It was getting so bad that I was considering yet another vocation change. Wringing my hands all the way home and into the evening time.

My fingers and wrists no longer hurt.

It doesn’t sound like a big deal but constant pain is no fun. I was dropping utensils and other things because my hands ached so much. It would make me angry. I wasn’t doing these morning meds to combat it. I was following my intuition. And then my mind said “hey try this!”

I call these trail markers *see last blog

Real quick cutting out alcohol also cuts down on your body’s inflammation. My carpel never went away. My hand and joint pain along with my knees suffered greatly. Oh and my Achilles too. Some of this is just plain old man arthritis. I was on my sofa in mid December rubbing my hands with a weird look on my face. I looked up at Jess and said

“My hands..”

She said “what?”

I said “My hands.. they aren’t hurting me right now. I shouldn’t even be able to close my fists. There’s no pain.”

I went over all of my work toiling in my head to see if I had changed anything. Nothing had changed except for the volume of orders had risen. I did more charcuterie this season than any other. I was stumped. The next morning while lying on my floor in my meds my eyes went wide open and I said “well I’ll be damned”

It may be just coincidence. I’m open minded. I’m currently sitting on my sofa pain free. Wanna talk about my sciatica that cripples me at times? Haven’t heard from it since I opened the deli. I started the hertz treatments after I recovered from Covid in early August. Once that sat on me for almost a month I made some lifestyle changes. I get sick when I get physically and mentally overwhelmed it’s common. I wanted to work on my mind some more.

Intuition wins again.

My knees don’t pop like they used to. I can Bulgarian squat 80lbs no sweat. That would’ve been unheard of 5 years ago with my knees.

Neck tension is waaaaay down.

Mental health is better just ask my family they are the ultimate gauge.

Writing gets a little easier too. My mind vibes better when I’m consistent with these practices.

Your energy changes. Sure I know this is where some of you get the eye rolls. I’m not selling crystals or oils here yall. This is my experience without any outside influences. I may just be healing some more. For some reason I’m rather attached to the hertz idea. Gonna ride it for a bit.

Doubt that you’ll see me floating on a rug but it does give some perspective as to why those visions may have been introduced. The only drug in my veins are coffee beans.

My newest adventure is controlling negative energy and harnessing positive energy. I feel like these are intuitive steps. I’m taking them in stride. Pun very much intended

Peace and love 🫶🏼