Where does your creativity come from? Do you have to be inspired? Or can you set your mind and go forward with tasks that require creativity? What nourishes it? Pumps it? Stirs it?

I was sitting in Graze the other day with a notebook in my hand, blank page staring back at me. Waiting on the gas company to hook me up. I thought this would be a good time to relax and jot down some menu notes and wrap my head around a menu. For an hour I sat there cross legged on an uncomfortable sofa staring at the walls. Zero jots were jotted.

I’ve had menu writing cramps before but this has been the biggest one. All the restaurants I’ve opened I’ve hit some lulls were it took a while to get my flow. Not so much with Southern I was bursting at the seems with ideas at that time. It was my first novel. She got all my love. Dive was the same. I had so many ideas that I ended up with a ridiculously large menu. I’d have to shave it down every month to shrink it to it’s greatest hits. It didn’t stick around long enough to matter.

Lto wasn’t hard for me. It was a burger bar you aren’t exactly reinventing the wheel. I always wanted a burger bar so I had a half dozen menus already written out. The vegan part wasn’t so easy. I went vegan for 4 months to absorb the culture and palate. It was challenging but I did learn a few things mostly how to make veggies taste like meat. I ended it with a bacon cheeseburger to celebrate,

Habitap was a real menu block and it never hatched. This is not a knock on hab either even their last menu was stil 70% me and it always made me cringe. I didn’t like that menu nor the concept. Again this isn’t a knock. I created the concept for fuck sake so if I’m knocking it’s all on me.

When we had to close and reopen all the restaurants during Covid it was put on my shoulders to reinvent all three restaurants simultaneously. That pretty much did me in and washed away my creativity. My passion was already struggling and that was the knock out blow. It was tough.

My last week in my company was right after co authoring a 7 course menu for Euphoria at southern for dinner and then another multiple course brunch at Habitap the following day. It just got too much for me. I was close to plagiarism and putting my name on menu ideas. There’s quite a few of those folk around here. I’ve always refuse to be or at least try not to be that individual. After that brunch I left for Maine for a week and I never stepped foot in my kitchens again.

I know I talk shit about it but I have nothing against Euphoria. It’s great for the city and some restaurants really showcase themselves during this time. I just had enough at that time of being my companies wind up lackey.

Chadcuterie menu I wrote in about 15 minutes out of desperation. I had zero focus on the menu itself I was more concerned about the production and presentation of the boxes. I didn’t absorb myself in deep research of artisanal meats and cheeses. I watched TikTok videos until they made sense in my head and then went “blast off” into the local market.

Listen. Take it from me. Don’t ever do that shit. I came out alright but slinging and winging charcuterie is not a good idea.

If you look at my menus you can tell they are still shallow, quick and lack any of my quips. 3.5 years later it’s the same menu. I’ve moved a few things around and shortened it but it hasn’t evolved. I could probably leave three boxes on there and not feel much of a shift.

My brat and dog menu for the trailer took about three weeks until I nailed my ass to my notebook and forced a menu. It turned out ok but I’d still give it a 5 on a 10 scale.

Currently, I wake up sometimes at 3 am with the first thought in my head is “you don’t have a fucking menu”.

Not one. I’ve got a hundred phone notes scribbled in between shopping lists, to do lists, haiku’s and some really bad poetry. No menu direction.

Yeah I know it’s a deli. Sort of. Again I hesitate in focusing on that word because if you walk into my place there will be no Katz vibes or any Groucho, Publix Greenfields. I’m calling it a deli so Greenville at least has a basis. I’m selling deli style market food with a big emphasis on charcuterie and catering. You won’t be standing in front of a sneeze guard asking for extra black olives on your sub. And at the same time hell you just might. See what I mean?

I ordered bread samples just yesterday.

Creativity comes at me when it decides to. I could be hiking up a mountain and it’ll hit me and I’ll type in 20 ideas on my phone while I’m tripping over rocks and roots. Can’t ignore them, I take em when they show up. Morning walks help and I’ll do the same and occasionally walk right into a mailbox. Bruises to get the juices flowing. Sometimes while I’m driving I could write an entire concept.

The buildout sucked out a lot of my creativity for now. If you could measure it like a phone battery I’m in the red right now. I had this gal set to open July 1. We all know that ain’t gonna happen.

Am I worried or anxious? A tad but I’m not standing on a ledge. I think it’ll come to me once I can push aside all the construction and buildout projects. It’s hard to multitask creativity. I realize I’m tired and dragging ass at the moment. This is the slow season for charcuterie or suppose to be. As I gear up to make 48 10×10 boxes today. I’ve been pushing a little too hard the last month and I feel the old body breaking a little. I keep telling myself in my head over and over “please just let me get this place rolling before any body parts decide to breakdown.”

Yes, I’m talking to you left knee and upper back.

Mentally I’m ok. I stopped looking at the approaching deadline and pushed it aside. I’ll open when I’m ready. That’s all there is to it. I’ve had to cut my shop time back because my back shuts me down. I smell like a YMCA locker room with all the Ben Gay aroma slathered on my knee and back. I’m not whining that bad yall just journaling it.

I’ve mentioned before I’m deliberately putting myself through this process because my body and mind needs to wake back up. It’s like training for a marathon. I’m definitely locked in on the deli I’m just dealing with multiple tasks at the moment.

Plumbing stopped for two days not sure what’s going on with that but it’s on par with all the other projects I had forecasted to be done this week. Wasted a trip to Spartanburg to grab a cooler and left empty handed. Father’s Day weekend and I’m leaning towards not working that day. I’m still headstrong on having these days to be spent with my family.

Next week I’ll have to put it in overdrive. I’m fine with that as long as the others I’ve tasked with projects step it up and do their thing. I’m weary of sweeping up their dust everyday. Physically and metaphorically.

I guess this could be considered a deli update so cheers to episode 21 ish.