The last 23 days I’ve probably worked 23 hours. This is not an exaggeration nor is it a flex. I don’t make money when I don’t work. I’m not freaking out mind you as I’ve said before chadcuterie just farts in the month of January. I’ll occasionally get a big order to keep me loose but I’m fine otherwise I just have to deal with my thoughts when I’m idling.

A casual day for me this month consists of my morning ritual of coffee/yoga/workout but now I’m headphones locked in on my head during this process. I had one box to deal with a $30 order for the humpday again no big deal I’ve got a small load to contend tomorrow. Im still learning everyday, that my success does not depend on pushing my craft everyday. I do it for 50 plus consecutive days up until 7 hours before the ball drops every holiday season.

I’ll take a nap and by nap I mean I encourage myself to lie still for at least 20 minutes. Sometimes I’ll snooze often times not. My naps have lessened due to most of my added sugar habits have been put on hold. The crashes don’t crash like they used to. I’m not suffering from that sugar crunch and my headaches have subsided for the most part. I still want ice cream every 20 minutes or so. I’m coping. Barely.

I make an hour free to write (which I’m currently clocked in for) and at least 2 hours to read. (5 books down for the count already) and as I’ve mentioned the headphones are a fucking godsend. I gave myself a promise on the off days to not spend my time growing or focusing my profession as much. I’ve read the same hustle books as you guys. I know success is achieved by the time and effort you put into it. I gave my time. I feel like it owes me some back now.

My alignment with success now revolves around the goings on above my neck. I stopped reading books that focus on the hustle. My book, the one I’m narrating in my head, focuses on sustaining. Sustaining my mental health, my physical health, balance and being present for my family. Listen some of you big shots are great with managing both. For me one of them or most get sacrificed. Usually the most important ones.

These three weeks have been unique.

Zero work

Zero income

Zero adventures

Also

Zero drama

Zero stress (other than my bank account ticking down)

Zero body pain from work

I’ve taken this month to rest well literally everything. I cut back on my work content and posts by choice, my toiling at home is mostly reorganizing my habitat. Out with the old but no new. I’m trying to learn to enjoy things without the fulfillment of a purchase. I make it a habit to spend to celebrate. The headphones are the exception. I promise I’ll stop talking about them soon. As long as they keep doing what they are doing I actually may not. Sony we need to collaborate.

My body and brain are in the best shape they’ve ever been in. Sure, I’ve had bigger muscles, I’ve had better endurance and most of any education I’ve learned over the years is mostly muscle memory now. I still know how some things are done its just I’ve lost all the instructions.

But

My body doesn’t hurt like it used to. I know sugar cut off has been paramount but combining the rest with the drop off of daily Tictacs has been a good one two combo. I’ve done sugar breaks before. The rest makes a big difference. I was always obsessed with physical fitness. To combat the drinking and the calories that came with it. 10 hours accumulated weekly workouts on top of 60 plus work hours. I used my body like a cross country semi. The workouts were also to correct the atrophied neck from looking down prepping for hours, the sciatica that caused me to put all my weight on one foot when I stood for hours. I used weights and endurance to offset my joint pain. A good sore to battle the bad sores. All it did was I couldn’t tell the difference between the two anymore.

I’ve dropped 20 lbs and have maintained it. My eating habits changed dramatically when I changed my lifestyle. Not even with effort y’all. Your brain will crave things that are good for you and sustain when the alcohol no longer has possession. I have cravings for fatty beef, mushrooms, tomatoes and fruit now. It used to be grease. Hot spicy greasy shit to coat my rotting stomach. Never underestimate what food can do to your brain. Good or bad.

My brain. Always took a backseat. It was used for business math and consumerism. Now it gets most of the exercise. If you accumulate everything I’ve written in the past 10 years, subtract work criteria and long Facebook diatribes, I now write more in one day than I’ve written TOTAL in 20 years.

Writing is mental masturbation. I can feel my mind, memory, creativity growing. It’s a healthy way to let off steam. It’s therapeutic. It allows you to get shit off your chest. Even if no one reads it, as you write it you can feel it leaving that labyrinth you built to hide things from yourself and everyone else. I’ve made peace with so many issues just from writing them down. Childhood trauma, heartbreak. Your therapist is your notebook, your oral expression is the pen. You are listening to yourself. Your inner dialogue. You should write it down. It’s much easier to understand yourself when you read it like a story or a journal. It also helps you when you are trying to express yourself. It allows you to go outside of your head and peak inside. It offers another vantage point. Its like when you think you have a clean house until you hire a professional cleaning service to come in and detail it. You thought it was clean but holy shit those baseboards now look amazing. I find it much easier to explain the snakes in my head to my wife once I’ve wrote them down. Which means better communication with my better half. Better transparency and no words I’m forgetting to speak that need to be said. I no longer sit on my words. I read them out loud. I will sometimes read what I’ve written a dozen times because it takes me to right where my brain left off. The elation of letting out steam. Refreshing as a rolled down window driving through a new country road in another state. I can relate to that.

I’m reading my words, my thoughts, emotions to reflect on. It’s one on one therapy but I’m the only one in the room listening to myself and that’s ok.

Sometimes I’d struggle to find words when I speak. Now I select which ones I’d like to choose from. Writing is walking for the brain. I don’t stutter as much. Yeah I have a habit of fumbling words especially when I get overstimulated or upset. I have no doubt the alcohol, stress, head injuries, sugar all play a part. I’m just enjoying a happy brain season and I’m riding it as long as I can. My brain is happy because I’m allowing it to be. Every day for the past few years I’m inching towards breaking a hundred tiny bad habits. My endgame is fairly simple. Balanced happiness. This month has been dedicated to feeding that reservoir. Using building blocks like bricks to make my mental health strong. I’m making strides. Somedays it’s two steps up and one step back but I’m no longer falling backwards. For now at least. I know there will always be bad days to come. This exercise is to help my brain to support the weight next time. It helps. It truly does but yeah it’s sort of a new hustle for me.

It’s not to make more money come my way I’m just creating a pathway for some happiness to sustain in my life. It’s an exercise for me. Some of us don’t get it for free we have to work for it. I call it hustling for happiness. Has a good ring to it.

It’s my new vibe.