It’s literally everyday. The constant act of juggling marketing ideas and actions . Engaging with your consumer audience. Creating an branding magnet that keeps you in the heart and mind of your wonderful patrons or future ones. Relevance and popularity are kitties titties in the service industry.

I break most restaurants and some retail businesses into three categories

You have the big box boys that with seemingly bottomless advertisement budgets. They have all the hwy billboards for the travelers to plan their next food stop 135 miles away. You look for that familiar branding on a 20’x10’ illuminated graphic star on the horizon and grip the steering wheel in glee “HOLY SHIT CRACKER BARREL EXIT 45 and you look around to check the next exit up so you can do the math in your head “I just passed exit 6 I can eat in 39 miles! Your family is online looking at the menu with their tablets and phones even your 3 year old toddler is screaming “CHICKEN NUGGIES” in her little seat with the remnants of gold fish crackers stained between her palm lines. Your wife phones in call ahead seating and in less than an hour your whole family is eating like Jockey Lot royalty. The exit you take is right by the highway in the new development part of the city named “Pleasant Almond Hills” although the only almonds you’ll find that are indigenous to that area would be in a 4oz vacuumed pack clipped up at a gas station counter right by the rainbow of bic lighters and rolling papers. Inside that new development you will most likely be surrounded by the rest of the high society of branding conglomerates such Buffalo Wild Wings, Outback or Longhorns (sometimes both if the current demographic studies show that their are enough beef lovers to sustain two steakhouse chains across the street from one another). Sometimes it might be another chain that hasn’t quite made it to your demographic yet but it’s edging to you closer at Napoleon conquering speed. That same development will have brand new shiny counter service heavyweights like Chipotle, Moes, 5 Guys and Panera. Let’s not forget every single one of these will have your 5 go to drive thrus (or more) Chic fil-a, Starbucks, Taco Bell, Hardee’s and of course McDonald’s, the heart slayer. There are brand new retail boxes with their shiny new brick paint and $15k signs on the front of the building. Sometimes you can look up and these big bright box stores have a big bright billboard with the same congruent branding right beside the store to beacon weary travelers to stop in and buy reprinted canvas of a llama smiling or some costume jewelry depicting half moons and sharks teeth. All of these corporate power houses have done research and studies on how far tables should sit from the kitchen, ergonomic booth seats, decibel and hertz levels of musak and popular song choices to nosh by. Interior decorators with color swatches to match the local weather patterns and soil content (slight exaggerations) Surrounding the new development are hundreds of brand new three story work/live condos giving thousands the options of convenient shopping and dining right outside your fucking welcome mat. For some reason I never see these filled. They all look so monotonously empty. Your family will hit these exits up, spend all your money inside of Pleasant Almond Hills and be on your way to your next destination. These types doesn’t care to know your name, face or what your new puppy’s name is. They will know all about you though. They’ll know your eating habits, the color of your skin, your religious background, how many Hershey bars you eat a day, if you’re obese or a health guru. They’ll know how far you drive to work, all of your spending habits and drinking habits. They do their homework on your consumerisms and your mannerisms. They’ll have circle graphs of how many generations from Traditionalists to Zs there are in your hood and how they react to traffic circles and pit bulls. The local restaurants and shops 3 miles down the exit in the actual city will never see your face if you’re just passing through. I am just as guilty as the next person. I’ve done this ritual a 100 times. The big guys aren’t dumb. They have the capital to capitalize.

Next up, let’s drive three miles down to this city on the outskirts of Pleasant Almond Hills and check out the city. We’ll call it Greenburg..

Greenburg is a well established little city wedged between two major cities in bordering states. Its also developing at a rapid pace, turning over old stones for gentrification, planting fancy lamp posts on street corners, aesthetic walkways over rivers, budding arts district downtown, tweezer food with award stickers and plaques by the hostess stand. You’ll still get some big box vibes here but if city planning has some creativity they’ll keep the locals in mind. That’s a big fucking IF. You’ll find local restaurants, boutiques, shops with gourmet popcorn and jerky, live venues and maybe a sports venue if you’re geographically lucky. This a good start to take in the heart of the city. Yeah you have your tourist teasers with the t-shirt shops with a thousand multi colored shirts, hats, keychains and dog vests that read “Greenburg” in its newly invested font that a dozen people collaborated for six months on. Even a catchy new hashtag embroidered on a towel #beTHEburg to wipe your hands clean after making your favorite squash casserole from the veggies you bought at the downtown market. You have your local restauranteurs with their Taj Mahals on main and other locals with their downtown niche firmly planted into the Greenburg roots of downtown. Whether it’s dive bars that have survived the test of taste or new establishments that did their homework and created a unique addition to the downtown vibe. These establishments slurp up the foot traffic of tourism. With the assistance of wide sidewalks, shaded by strategically planted dogwoods trimmed just enough to see everyone’s business signs along the Main Street. Picturesque, post card like shout outs in local periodicals and tourist commissions. When looking online for things to do in Greenburg a lot of these restaurants will get the star billing on the googles and a lot of the local press. Also coincidentally you see their advertising in said press outlets on the back pages that no one looks at. These establishments are some of the heart and soul of Greenburg and understandable so. Most represent the city in the city’s eyes. Some of these are the Best in Show. This is where the local pros throw down with their .5 star James Beard wannabes, $50 hanger steaks with truffled twice fried potatoes and 12 step cocktails served in cooper vessels. Downside for these guys and gals is you gotta pay the price to hang. $40-$50 a square foot for prime commercial makes the menu sky higher than most but someone gotta pay for the dogwoods. You get the best and worst here. You will absolutely find some top notch food, art and culture. Some have mastered it and sustained. Others put their life into it and lose it all in 6 months. Success can be a crap shoot sometimes. Even the hottest shit players get shut out. Their marketing strategy is to go after the tourists, that walk the streets, locals that tend to treat downtown as a once a week destination and to try to feed all the office tummies for lunch and happy hours. They have their pulse on who’s coming into town for entertainment. They’ll brace themselves for the denim tuxedo invasion if Luke Bryan is in town or open an hour early because Johnny Mathis is making a cameo and the boomers want to eat at 4pm. Other bars will compete the other happy hours, sin nights and roof tops. Some creative engineering sustain the old architecture and well paid interior decorators to make it look inviting. It can be dog eat dog marketing here at times especially in the cold months. Rent can eat you alive. The last thing you want is to have a solid concept for several years and watch 6 other exact concepts align down the road from you one by one. For some that small handful of regulars that used to come sit at the bar daily was the only way they sustained a profit. For others that big happy hour meeting paid to keep the open sign lit. Greenburg locals love that new carpet smell. They also love to be seen walking on it. Sometimes the big city out of town developers will try to park their ideas right along side of the downtown Mecca. They’ll rebuild old mills, churches or tear down old mills, railway stations and rebuild mill looking concepts with cheaper materials. They’ll also create developmental sparkly names to establish their new area usually using key words like Junction, Station or Railway. Maybe throw in some old ass mayor from 100 years ago and call it Johnson Junction. Alliteration is trendy and looks great on a t- shirt. Marketing trends are usually done by local marketing companies or within the heart of the organization as it should be.

The honorable mentions are the other guys that for the most part you don’t think about unless they have a traffic light beside their establishment. If you take the moment to look up from your phone at the traffic stop you might see these places in strip malls, repurposed gas stations or old homes. Most are roadside diners, end caps or may have gotten a deal on a lease because they sit behind another popular business. Some are inhabitants of a rebuild of a rebuild of a rebuild. Once a year the outside sign changes but the same goddamn planter is outside the door. You’ll see old burger joints that are now Chinese buffets. You can literally see the old burger sign on the window that’s been permanently etched in the tint from the sun. Old Greek eateries handed down father to son or daughter with their locally loved onion rings and baby clubs. Old steakhouses or Italian spots that have stood the test of time. They don’t worry about social media, mailers, current trends or cocktails with essence of local kudzu. They’re established. Family owned. You see their kids hosting and the dad in the kitchen cooking. Wife is making her rounds to hug and kiss the cheeks of the regulars that have been coming in since before Reagan took a bullet. They’ve captured the 3 mile radius of their business. You’ll see people waiting outside to eat at 5pm on a Tuesday night. They are the unicorns of the service industry. I envy the fuck out of these folk.

Along these roads you’ll see some of the old dinosaurs from the 90s. Applebees by the old Walmart (it was the shit 25 years ago because demographic studies), Ruby might be hanging around still unless a Chinese buffet moved in. Sometimes you might pull over the side of the road and take a pic of the old Bennigans still standing. Demographics still play a part in this area. Depending on your average income per mile you’ll find some check cashing places, dollar tree stores, smoke shops. Asian massage parlors, tire shops that rent rims and plasma banks. Being established doesn’t necessarily mean successful. Its oft times means consistency. Good or bad. Some retail and service businesses come here to start up. Like a launching pad. You can find rent for $10-$15 dollars a square foot. Maybe the landlord is tired of having a vacant building they’ve been paying real estate taxes on for 20 years and they help with buildout. Might save you $10k on ceiling tiles and updated plumbing. You put your frozen yogurt place here to build your launching pad into the downtown or station hot spot in 3-5 years when your lease ends. Maybe it’s just a yearly lease. You might’ve picked that spot because it already had the perfect size water heater installed from the previous tenant. Or your one sandwich cooler fits just right in that nook. You have big dreams but not the budget. Your business will never make local periodical without paying $1000 for an 1/3 page advertisement (they gotta pay their bills too). If you had a $1000 for a mag ad you’d probably be in a more desirable spot. You’re on page 10 on google if you even can afford a website or can design your own form watching YouTube . Most of your decor are mix and match tables, hobby lobby accents to hide the dry wall cracks and the uneven paint job you did yourself. You don’t have much capital to sustain your new business you actually may not have any for the first year and you juggle your full time job to pay to keep the lights on until you hit the correct number ass to seats it takes to make a buck. You may have plastic signs by the road to catch the consumer’s eye or even the dancing blowup dude to distract motorists. I’ve always said if you’re still using these props months after your grand opening it was never that grand. You might be a coffee shop without the money grabbing drive thru that the locals love but sometimes they don’t have the time to get out of their car to wait in line. You just aren’t convenient enough when they are in a hurry to work. You keep sidewalk cafe signs with specials of the day out in front of your store because you saw a cute little cafe had one downtown that you love. You don’t stop to think that sidewalk traffic is pertinent to their business not yours.

Youll find small consignment shops with painted signs on the door. Usually any empty shop with some simple shelving and a counter. You hope to update as the money flows. If it ever does.

You know every face that comes in your place if it’s more than once. After a while you’ll know their occupation, kid’s names and that their favorite pet canary can sing the Jefferson’s theme song. You depend on these little clusters of patrons because without them you may close next month. You’re hoping that new development of homes being built half mile down the street will help pickup business as long as you can hold out long enough for it to fill up.

I’ve experienced every level of this consumerism. 30 years of business management, ownership turns your mind into a mental marketing manager. I don’t see just restaurants or retail chains. I immediately go to start up costs, over budget fuck ups, marketing strategies. When I sit in one those establishments these are the things that dance in my head. Aside from the other brain washing of looking for cobwebs in the chandelier, ceiling light bulbs burned out or watching th cook dig for gold with his vinyl glove halfway up his nostril. The big boxes I’m sitting in a GM meeting discussing demographics, commodity prices, consumer trends and purchases. I’m not looking at individuals I’m looking at your household income, number of kids and how much you average paying real estate taxes a year. I want to get intimate with your wallet. I’ve done the big store walk thrus, corporate training, handbook acknowledgments even toured some of those 3 story work/live condos.

Mid level it’s almost the same but you want to know how the locals trend. Some cities roll up the sidewalk at 8. Some have 200 churches in one zip code and love to eat out after church. Some love beef but not $19 lb beef. You pay closer attention to your cross town rivals. You mimic what the successful places are doing if your ideas are going stale. You watch the trends like it’s the daily news. If you don’t stay ahead then you’re playing catch up. When you fall behind, most assuredly so will your bank account. You get antsy when you see new construction. Please don’t be a new fucking competitor. You create these daily trends to stay relevant all week. Weekday numbers are hard to hit due to over saturation of the market. Maybe it’s BOGO Mondays with apps, taco Tuesday, loose women’s Wednesday and so on. We won’t even touch base on staffing this is not what this essay is about.

My level now is that third level. I’m constantly looking for space to upgrade and grow without losing my savings account in the process. If I achieve my wants and wishes and find that magical spot then I’ll bargain shop for my equipment and refrigeration. I choose to look outside the city limits because fuck sign and other permits. I will most likely paint my own interior (no hobby lobby though) I have a game plan in my head but it has to be flexible around my plans. Demographics I still need to do my homework if I want it to suceed. If I like a space and it’s lease rate it may not be the best fit for my business. If I’m sitting beside a dollar general and a radio shack turned into a plasma center chances are I won’t get much foot traffic into my spot to buy a $200 custom built charcuterie board. So I have to ask myself. Do I need to add different options to my business venture to please more ass to seats or do I look around more to see if I can find lease that’s higher but makes more sense to for my product and price point? Which makes me a one man demographer. Which I am. My marketing budget is zero unless I feel like giving Zuch a Lincoln to boost my biz. I rarely think ahead on my content posts unless it’s for a special occasion. Guerilla marketing is my choice of advertising and sometime it’s exhausting. Creating daily content that will get people to notice you for more than 5 seconds is a lot harder than you think. If you slip so does your business. I’m not sitting on the side of a busy highway exit cuddling up to Cracker Barrel for $50 a sq ft and in all honesty if I were to do my diligence for demographics it would probably say it’s not a smart choice anyway to assume road travelers would call two days ahead and order a box while they go take a piss at the WaWa off of the Pleasant Almond Hills exit. It’s a fucking headache because you don’t stay relevant sitting on your dick beaters. You try to put yourself in everyone’s face in an unobtrusive way because if you’re too obnoxious then you become overbearing. Yes people buy from people they like but they aren’t obligated to do it daily, weekly or even monthly. Them you have a slow week or month you don’t sit with your board of directors, GMs, branding firm and brainstorm with coffee and muffins on the table. You’ll find you’re combing IG to see what smarter more creative people are doing because Goddamit sometimes you’re just tired. Or you get edgy and unhyped because everyone is crooning about the new charcuterie joint in town and maybe you just didn’t have the money or energy to do one yourself even though you thought about it 100 times. Before anyone jumps to some shit conclusion I’ll be the first to say that I pull for every single fucking local new business. Unless they carbon copy my blueprint. Which no one has done. Or at least to the level of what me worry?

Honestly I have no problem spending my savings account. I’ve probably drained it a half a dozen times with some failed ventures and looking to give it a try again. I’m just going to be much more selective this time. Sure there is always the opportunity to pull in an investor but let’s just say it hasn’t worked that well for me in the past. Also I know regardless of where I may end up I’ll be spending a solid month plus of my work time by poor boying it and building the damn thing myself. That’s a month of income I won’t get back while I build. Even losing a month’s worth of business is hard to get that ball rolling again. You tell a customer no or you can’t they’ll go right down the road to find another suitor. It’s the consumer way. I refuse to incrue ridiculous debt by using a loan to upfit someone’s old ass building that that was willed to them by their great uncle in ‘91. I won’t have meetings with architects and engineers about the best place to plug in 220 volt outlet for a convection oven fan or ideal place to cut into the concrete to make a drain for a three comp sink. My place better damn well have plumbing cap already. If I need a 220v outlet I hope to have room for one in the old breaker box. Need a store front sign? Probably paint something on the exterior. You don’t want to know the cost of a professionally made sign runs for and then you sit on a permit for three months before it can hang. That’s something you don’t learn in business school. How permits can fuck you entirely. I’m much more at home in places I support when I see their hard work presented in their business. Handmade bars, local art, woodwork all put together piece by piece. It touches my soul. It represents the local culture and community. Just as do the local places in the higher priced downtown places. I appreciate a hard work of art. The tough hide they’ve built from putting up with the amateurs and city politics. Weeks of high volume and annual street fairs can run you down.

Man I’m sure I had something else in mind when I started this blog and I might’ve switched my socks up halfway through but I took it for a ride and wanted to see where it went. I may do a part two sometime soon to follow through on my original point should I find it again.